What is anti social????

Question

Thats what my dad calls me. Whenever I go to his house his girlfriends friends are always having parties and I have to go with them. When I go I just stay in a quiet room away from all the people. I really dont like talking to them because i honestly don't like them very much. All the adults drink and then the kids are so little. Im 13 turning 14 and they are like 9 and 10 years old. I dont want to play with them and I dont want to talk to the adults. I really dont like talking at all. I like keeping to myself. Whats wrong with that? I can go a whole day in school not saying one word unless someone talks to me. I don't think I'm shy but when I talk to someone they think I am. If I know a person very well then i'll talk to them like girls do at slumber parties and stuff but not with someone I've known for like 3 months. I have to know someone for at least a good 3 years most to talk to them like that. I just hate people I really do.

Answer 1

People throw around the phrase "anti-social" when they don't understand that some people are more introverted than others. You're not against being sociable, you're just not AS sociable as certain people think you should be in certain circumstances. You are sociable on your own terms. I'm the same way and so are SO many other people. Trust me.

You're still a teenager, but I'm in my twenties and still get labeled "quiet". Feel lucky if people think you are shy. Sometimes they actually assume you are RUDE instead just because you don't know them and feel awkward acting extroverted around them.

Society is biased towards extroverts. People automatically reward friendliness whether it's genuine or fake. You're just being a genuine person.

Your father may have trouble understanding that this is just who you are and that there isn't anything wrong with you. He probably has your best interests at heart but you need to explain to him that it takes you time to get used to people.

Your last words here are "I just hate people I really do" but that's not really the truth. From the sound of it you just hate their behavior---that they refuse to understand your perspective.

Just keep being yourself. There's nothing wrong with you. It's fine to hold out talking to people a lot until you feel comfortable around them. Don't worry.  

Answer 2

Lara means has the answer that society would think anti social means....but really it is a personality disorder that can be very dangerous, so your father just means her version, not the true one.

Answer 3

Anti Social is when you don't like people, you don't get along with anyone, and you'd much rather be by yourself.  

Answer 4

It is tough growing up. I was like you when I was your age but unlike you I was just shy. Now I am comfortable with who I am. I can understand why your dad says you are anti-social, he probably wants you to have a good time and takes your silence negatively. He probably does not know that you think that you do not fit in very well because the crowd is either too old or too young. I think you can try explaining to him how you feel and that you are perfectly fine being alone. Your dad probably means well but like most adults have forgotten how it was like growing up. All the best. Be comfortable with yourself and others will be comfortable with you.