What is bad with spoiling our kids?

Question

A person yesterday (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvJqfV8hcMxN4L2gHLT0p.rty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080802121439AAlYmeP&show=7#profile-info-URrYfLzZaa) said that shouldn’t spoil our kids…I don’t thing so…Since I have money why I can’t give my kid whatever he wants?

h**l yeah I don’t buy his clothes from Wal-Mart and he wears only “brands” and he goes to school at one of the best school in US, he has his own pure-blood Arabic horse and in few words he can have everything that he wants…And now (I am pregnant with twins) I have already *write* the babies in Riverdale Country School.

Why is bad with giving to your kids everything that you can?

Your thoughts?

Answer 1

It's fine to spoil your kids, as long as they are also taught to appreciate what they have. because not everybody is  lucky enough to have what they do.

Answer 2

i agree with you

far to many people have kids they cant afford and then accuse everyone else of spoiling there own kids becasue there jelous they cant give there kids the best

the fact is ; your kid will get taken more seriously in life becasue he is dressed well

he will be very well educated because he goes to the best schools and as for the horse? well nothing is better for kids than having animals

kids are only 'spolied' when they dont realise what they have

i was very privallidged growing up but i also took holidays in africa and other parts of the world that arnt very wealthy and i learned about poverty from a young age

i am now watching my freinds panic becasue they dont know how they are going to afford university becasue there parents cant support them , and i think wtf why did u have kids if you cant even afford to give them an education and the best chancce in life

Answer 3

Only rich people seem to think this...theres nothing wrong with giving your kids things, but they need to learn that not everything in life is

"handed" down to them just like that, they also should realize that not everyone gets those oppertunities so they should not think that everyone lives that way...appreciation

Answer 4

I think that the real question is one of character.  What is a child learning?  If he thinks that this is real life and that he *deserves* it, he will have serious trouble later adjusting to life unless he is also very well-off when he is grown.  

There's nothing wrong with having nice things.  Money isn't evil (Loving it is, though).  

No matter if a child is raised with everything or nothing, every child must learn that life, money and parental gifts are privileges.  If born into financially stable homes, but they have no experience growing up seeing how other people live, learning true compassion not pity and disdain, and understanding the importance of using money as a tool to live and to do good to others, then the parents will have done their children a huge disservice.  They will be self-centered, egotistical brats who will have trouble making friends, have trouble in the workplace, etc.  

I think that the parents' attitude and life lessons are more important than what a child has and the parents' ensuring that the child has the correct view of things and money so that he/she doesn't become a little materialistic beast.

Answer 5

It's great to give them everything they want, but you have to make sure they know to respect others and to accept them for who they are, not how they dress or how much money they have. Make them do something for things they want, that way they don't just expect it for nothing. They still get everything they want, but they learn that things aren't just handed to them... Especially when they're older.

Answer 6

Just remember life may hand you something down the road that you do not expect- and then when you may not afford everything your child wants, he could resent you.  Teach your child, that life is not something to be handed them on a silver platter.  That said- I agree that we should give our children, everything that they NEED

Answer 7

I think that if you have the money and time to devote these things to your kids than take advantage of it, any parent would be proud to do these things for their child and it is what we live for. I know I cant do these things for my son but man I would love to be able to put him in a great school and buy name brand cloths and everything for him that he wants but Im not that wealthy so I give my son the most love and compassion any parent would and I think thats all that matters. You can give your children everything they want and still teach the morals and guidance in life, teach them to respect the things they have to help the more fortunate and they will take pride in who they are.  

Answer 8

Well if you want your kid to be an annoying little thorn in the foot of society, by all means, go ahead! Your kid thinks he can get whatever he wants and when he gets to be a teenager, haha, look out! They are going to continue being their bratty little selves all their lives, causing grief among all who meet them. That is the truth, whether you like it or not. You are also probably the parent that says "no spanking" and probably the same parent who defends your child in school when he gets in trouble even though you have not the slightest idea what he really did because, woops, you weren't even there! You can't begin to imagine how hard it is for teachers to deal with this little brats! And who is to blame? The parents who have spoiled tham all their lives.

Ok, I'm glad he goes to the best school, every kid deserves that. Lots of people shop at Wal-Mart, including me sometimes, and I'm not ashamed to admit that! And the horse. I guess that is fine. But how old is this child? That really depends. The kid sounds like he's very young and probably doesn't know half the things you oughtta for riding a horse...the real way I mean...not just shoes and things. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Whatever though. I can't change you but you asked what we thought so I said it.

Answer 9

Being able to provide for your kids is great but it's the little things you do that count.  When they get older, yeah, you may be able to brag about what school they went to and how much they have but it's quality time that you spend with them that really counts...even just at home on a Saturday night...reading books, pitching a tent in the yard, telling stories.  They'll remember that.  You are pregnant with twins!  Congrats!  Mine are a year old and it's been a wonderful experience.  Cuddling is wonderful but I'm sure you've experienced that with your first.  Anyhow...that was off the subject.

When you say you buy them the best...great, since you can afford it..fine...that's why things are so high priced...for folks like you who can afford it but not all high priced, brand name clothing is the best quality or fit!  What counts is if it's clothing that fits right for your child and is age appropriate.  You can find quality, great fit and affordable prices for most.  

Giving your child whatever he wants may not make him appreciate it. When the teen years come....the ball game changes.  They may think they deserve everything and will be upset at you for not giving them what they want.  They may be more demanding.  Not all kids are the same but it may very well likely be the case.  

All in all....family time is essential, making your kids work and appreciate the things they have is worhtwhile.   When I was given a car for graduation I really didn't appreciate it until I had a job and bought a (used) car on my own.  I kept it clean and took better care of it.  I think if everyone had the money you had they would probably spoil a little more than they'd like to admit...if you have room for a horse and your child is the primary caretaker...great!  I'm sure everyone, as I said, hopes your children appreciate it.  The world has been exposed to too many rich brats.  We don't know anything about you and the way you raise your children so as long as it's not shoved in people's face that you are privileged and doing the best you can raising your children...not just giving...great.....so best of luck.

Answer 10

It's more to do with what lessons are you teaching your child on a moral level that matters more, if you can afford all the fine things then no one is to say don't get them, but make sure you teach your children about respect and try and teach them the value of a dollar and that even if you are wealthy that money does not grow on trees.Unless you want your children to grow up to be stuck up snobs and have no real friends and have real relationships with decent kind people, As long as you teach them that no matter how much money someone has or what designer brand clothes they wear etc it does NOT decribe a person as to who they are. People are still worth knowing even if they are less well off then you, as long as you teach your children these simple lessons in respect and moral values, there's no problem in giving them things. although I would rather shower my child with love and affection and one on one attention to help nourish their caring natures more then give them absolutely everything on a silver platter.

Answer 11

If you spoil your kids when it's time to get a job and pay for their own stuff they'll fight you on that one. They become lazy and they just Want Want Want Want and take things for granted.  

Answer 12

I think you are just bragging. It doesn't affect us if you spoil your kids or not...why should we care - that is your problem and you will have to deal with the consequences of that when your son gets older.

I don't care if you spoil your kids. I just have a problem with you bragging to us about it.

Answer 13

They'll depend on your forever.  You need to make them work for things.

Don't buy him a car when he turns 16!!! Make him get a job and earn it

He'll never really appreciate any of the things you give him.  I'm all for being in a good school (I go to a private Catholic High school with a good reputation).  But no kid really should get a pony when they ask for one!

And likewise, you're teaching him to be stuck up "h**l yeah I don't buy his clothes from Wal-Mart"

and why not?  They have some cute things.  So do a lot of other stores you wouldn't expect. People are going to learn to use him in high school, and he wont have any real friends.  Teach him how to earn something

Answer 14

Spoiling your kids sets you up for trouble, they will always feel you owe them everything and that they never have to do anything for themselves.  They also will be more likely to pick on others less fortunate than themselves they are more likely to be selfish as they get older.  It is ok to give your kids the best you can but you shouldn't go overboard.  My aunt learned that the hard way.  

Answer 15

In my opinion, spoiling a child only sets them up for disappointment when the *real world* hits.  The sooner you get them accustomed to what it is *really* like out there, the better.

Answer 16

And is HE going to be the one who shoots down his schoolteacher and classmates because someone says "no" to him, or laughs at him?  What a little monster YOU will have created.  Kids need boundaries and they need parents to be parents  not enablers .  They need to be able to cope when things go wrong, they need to be able to make their own beds, wash up dishes, iron clothes (not at 6 obviously!) but grow up with a responsible attitude to the rest of the people in the world, not just think of themselves...

Have you ever thought of any of that before?

Good luck with him when he is a teenager, BTW!

Answer 17

It could make them stuck up and if they want something they just expect it, if you do it in moderation though they'll be just fine.

Answer 18

I completely agree with you.

As long as  you have money, you can give your kids what they want and more. What spoils the child is when they don't understand or don't appreciate what you give them, that is when you should start to slowly take different privileges away, until they realized how blessed they are to have what they have. So change the word spoiled to blessed.

  

Answer 19

How much do you teach your children to give to charity for children that are not as fortunate as they are?  Give your children the best chance you can to succeed, but what does an Arabian (Arabic is a language) horse have to do with success.  Spoiling is giving in to those base desires to be given everything and not worry about the value.  If they learn value, and the difference between investing in a good education versus buying expensive toys they don't value, then they'll probably be okay.

Answer 20

Paris Hilton.  Watch and learn.