What is best way to react to someone that has a temper ?

Question

what can one do when someone you love has a temper ?

if someone close to you, that u care about, loses his temper randomly for the pettiest things,in a very non sensical way, but the temper tantrums are harsh, often including sarcastic words and raising his voice and getting hysterical, and making hurtful comments..

what is the best response to this kind of temper to calm him down and make him think that maybe there is a better way to react then that ?

my instinct is to feel hurt and withdraw, but that doesn't help the situation.

what else can i do ?

he acts as if he thinks it's normal to treat people like that, and doesn't realize how hurtful his judgmental pettiness is .

what is the right way to react to it ?

Answer 1

Tell him that you love him and then calmly leave for a few hours until he calms down.

No more no less. You can work out who's right and wrong about whatever after he's human again. If that doesn't change him at all after a few tries he probably has an abusiveness issue.

Answer 2

don't react at all.

Seriously.  Like when a child throws a temper tantrum.  They are just doing it for attention usually and to feel in control.  If you stay calm, YOU are the one in control.  

Let them freak out, look at them the whole time, and just say "Feel better now?" when they're done.

If that stops working, and you want to make them feel kind of stupid, look away while they're yelling, and when they're done, go "Can you repeat that?  I was thinking about somethign else.  Sorry!"

Just show him that it does nothing and gets him nowhere.

Answer 3

If this is your husband - run out that door as fast as you can.  It is a sign of abuse, that will only get worse. Been there done that.

If it is a brother, father, friend or whoever, keep as far away from this person as you can, or YOU could end up in serious trouble.

We make the mistake of thinking that we can "help" others and change them.  It is not true!  We can only change ourselves.

My first husband started off like you explain above, then I found myself in a "battered women's'" position. I should never have left it that long.  Someone like the person you explain, has really serious emotional problems and the best thing you can do for yourself and for him, is to get away from him and  stay away.

Answer 4

Get away from them as soon as you can.

Leave them alone for 1 hour. They usually calm down in an hour.

Don't argue with them.

Answer 5

Leave. Don't take it. Remain calm like you don't even care and just say, "I'll be back in a couple hours. Call my cell if you need anything".

Honestly though...if they are saying hateful and hurtful things to you...maybe you shouldn't come back. There is a difference between being angry and being abusive.

Answer 6

react calm and collected.

if you freak out too much that can make things worse.

handle the situation accordingly.

Answer 7

This behavior sounds very dangerous, and honestly there is probably NO correct or safe way to handle it unless you are a trained professional.  

Why should you be the one to diffuse the situation?  Why are you trying to change your natural instincts to cater to the whims of someone who has a shorter fuse than a loose cannon?  No.  Instead of asking all of us here how you need to react, you need to be asking yourself how you can get this person help and learn to protect yourself.  

You both need to attend anger management classes.  You will probably get more out of it than he will -- but that's okay.  You need to know the danger signals,when you need to go to a safe place and how to protect yourself.

May not be the answer you were looking for, but it's the best I can do.

Best wishes.

Answer 8

hit them b4 they hit you then run

Answer 9

That sounds just like my father. All I do is tune him out. When I hear him start to get pissy, I walk away (to another room) and just ignore him.

Someone else said this too, whatever you do, try not to react to them. That just adds fuel to the fire.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this garbage too. It's h**l on your self esteem not matter what you do.  

Answer 10

My husband of 19 years has always lost his temper about the silliest things, he would throw his tools over the garage in temper tantrums, yell scream and then ten minutes later he's fine, I usually say ok see ya later so he can have his fit but the thing is he gets it out of his system while I keep it in and stew so I think he's better off to let out all that steam instead of letting it build up

Answer 11

walk away if you can

Answer 12

Yell at them louder than they yell at you.  

Answer 13

My mother has been doing that lately. She will get mad at me for something so trivial like I forgot to put the trash can back where is belonged on the left side of the wall, not the right, and she fly’s off the handle. Sometimes she throws things. I just let her scream and rant. She will either walk off or stop screaming because she can clearly see I am not fazed by it. She then stops and thinks about what she is doing and sometimes I get an apology. You just have to sit there and ride it out. Don't answer them, but don't look uninterested either. Look thoughtful but don't give them anything to get mad about further when they are on a rant. That is the best way to handle it.

Answer 14

Look at them as if they had two heads. It's irrational and stupid, so don't react. Even better, record it. I love when people see themselves acting like asses.