What is considered as good eye contact?

Question

Eye contact is a vital part of non-verbal communication. The lack of eye contact often causes people to assume that the other person is not interested in the conversation, has something to hide or even showing disrespect (disrespect does not apply to all cultures). However, looking at someone in the eyes during the whole conversation is just plain creepy.

So how do you maintain a good eye contact during a conversation? How long do you look in the eyes and for what kind of person you are talking to? Where should our eyes be if we are not looking the other person in the eye?

Answer 1

As you suggest, this varies tremendously from culture to culture.

Since you don't specify WHERE you're talking about, it's impossible to say much.

It depends on the culture, and the relationship between the people conversing, and the conversation itself. (When people are chatting, less eye contact; when it's more intense, more eye contact.)

When NOT looking someone in the eye, your eyes should not be focussed on the other's anatomy -- looking off into space, as though contemplating the brilliance of what they're saying works.

You might start watching people converse in various situations, and see what their eye contact rules are from that.

It also has to do with the look on one's face while looking into the other's eyes.

Answer 2

This is a very interesting question, something I have always thought about. I find eye contact to be very important when talking to people. I have found in the past that people that won't look you in the eye generally are dishonest or have something to   hide, although sometimes they can be just plain shy.

How long is too long? depends on which situation you are in, most of is can judge which is appropriate, sometimes extra eye contact can be used in a threatening manner, if you take an example of animals using eye contact, they will use the staring technique until either one backs down or a fight erupts.

If it is a friend, eye contact is for as long as you are both comfortable with, if you were talking with your boss, eye contact would be most important too, where you shouldn't look would perhaps be easier to answer, If you are out to impress somebody, I guess staring down a womans blouse might not be the best thing to do, find somewhere neutral to look is the best way.

Eye contact is usually left longer if you see someone you are attracted to, this will most certainly give off a 'signal' that you are interested in him or her.

You're right about having someone stare into your eyes during a whole conversation being creepy if you're not close to them.

Answer 3

Sometimes I'll use a diagram.  Also I'll create shapes and places in the air with my hands to talk about "this" and "that".

Both are good mechanisms for supplementing, not substituting eye contact.