What is going on? I need serious advice.?

Question

I am currently 11 weeks pregnant and I'm living here in California temporarily while my baby's daddy is in Ohio where I used to live.

We've been together for a year and we're almost 24/7 kind of bf/gf.

We've been apart for a month and during our first weeks of not being together, it was fine. He calls me but I keep nagging him about some things like he should be more responsible, that i need moral support etc (hormones in play).

Last week I confessed to my mom that I am pregnant then I told my boyfriend to tell his mom before she leaves for a 1 week vacation. My boyfriend didn't told his mom because he was scared his mom won't allow him by himself in the house, my boyfriend was worried about that because he was going to have a party with friends on the weekend while his mom is gone. He said he'll tell his mom fter the party but he didn't so my mom called his mom and told that I am pregnant. I was supposed to go back to Ohio that same week but my boyfriend's mom cancelled it because she said my boyfriend need some time for himself, but I didn't want that because I know he's unwinding the pressure of upcoming responsibily through hanging out with his friends, drinking, and I think he's getting influenced by his friends to run from his responsibility.

Eversince his mom founds out about my pregnancy and about his parties, my boyfriend stopped calling me and I heard from his friend that he's telling them that I am pregnant, I told his mom about the party, and that we broke up. I didn't broke up with him but I'm not sure if he misunderstood my nagging the last time we talk as a break up or he's just saying we already broke up without letting me know first (it's driving me insane because I'm hurt).

We already know that I am pregnant before we got seperated and during those times, he was okay with the baby issue. He said he'll claim and stand up for the baby but eversince he got a job, started school and start partying, he changed?

Is he running away from responsibility?

Doesn't he love me anymore? Is it possible for guys to just forget and escape from reality that fast?

Do you think he still thnk of me and the baby inspite of his busy and seemingly happy life?

I am getting so depressed, I don't want my baby to grow up without a dad. What should I do?

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Answer 1

If he thinks he can run, he has another thing coming.  Even if he really has broken up with you, he still is the baby's father and has an obligation to pay child support.  If he refuses, haul him into court and have a judge make him pay.  That will shake his mom up a little, whom I suspect is the real culprit behind his behavior.  He might still love you, etc., but I think his mom is trying to keep you apart and won't let him be the daddy to his baby like he is supposed to be.  Stand up for your baby.  Don't let them get away with anything.

Answer 2

You have a real big problem. From the sounds of it, you are both still minors living with your parents.  My first suggestion is that you get your mom to go with you to Ohio and have a sit down with him and his parents because all of you have a lot to work out.  He may not want this responsibility but it is a little too late for that now.  You all really need to talk and I mean now.  Your mom needs to stand up to his mom and find out what's going on in Ohio.  Be prepared for him to want out of this especially if his friends and family is pushing him that way.  Thats what sucks about being the girl in this situation.  He can just disapear and you have a baby to raise.  Don't let him off though, he is also responsible.  

Answer 3

I agree 100% with Marsha S! Her advise is great :)

Answer 4

Work with your mother and take this guy to court for paternal support. Ask for a DNA test to prove he is the father so you are covered. This is his responsibility also and he needs to step up. Do not let his mother run the show! It's not her decision.

Answer 5

You need to talk to him.  He's probably mad that your mom told him, not himself.  and somehow found out about his parties and he thinks it was you that ratted him out.  right now he's scared and feeling betrayed.  and telling people you broke up because he's mad and hurt.

Talk to him, tell him you didn't cause this and you want to work things out.  

Answer 6

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS - and I am afraid he is telling you he has changed his mind.  There is NO guarantee that his partying and drinking is going to somehow just instantly STOP at any time, and you the chances that you WILL end up raising the child ALONE or without support, are VERY high.

My 26 year old daughters "babies daddy" (I HATE that expression) said he wanted NOTHING to do with the child.  She is almost 4 months along now, and decided to give the baby up for open adoption - she REFUSES to raise a child by herself, and feels it is WRONG to force a guy to be a Father or have to pay if he is unwilling to.  You want to CHANGE your boyfriend which I understand, but that is unlikely to happen, and even if he did change for you, he WILL resent you for it later on.

You MUST take you and your feelings out of the picture, and DO what is BEST for that innocent child who deserves none of this.  Good Luck to you, and I pray you make the right decision.