What is going on? Need advise...!?

Question

am engaged to a man i love and we have two beautiful children (18months and 3 months) but lately i have started having doubts about my feelings..i find him a bit controlling and he likes to tell me how things should be done ( i am 28 he is 42, been together for three years, known each other four), my family and friends live in another country and he's family is far away too so i am also a bit lonely. But i feel i don't have any patience with him, we haven't had s*x since the birth of number two and i have no desire to go to bed with him and sometimes i almost feel things would be better if he cheated so i could go home and not be with him (obviously i don't really want him to..) Am i being a coward for not coming clean or is this normal/just a faze?

Answer 1

only you can tell. i think that the age gap could be causing a problem here, at your age you want to be having a married bliss, running after the children etc, but he is alot older, you didnt state weather he had been married before because if he had then this may not be new to him, if he hasnt then hes probably not as keen as you, hes getting older and probably feels differently to situation then you do, which is making it difficult for you to connect. this could just be a phase, brought on be the arrival of your children and ithe strss of becoming married, you may be thinking to much on the fact that marrage is forever, dont think of it that way remember all it means is that you know for sure that you will be with the man you love. i would suggest going out on a date again, getting rid of home life, children, and work, that way you may find out if somethings still there and if its the stress of homelife thats making you feel this way, if it is then something will have to change, if not you need to talk. you never know he may be feeling the same way as you are which is why hes being controling ask if somethings bothering him, maybe you need to postpone the wedding, a horrible thought at first but in the long run it may solve everything while you get both your feeling out in the open. if the talk doesnt go well then you have your answer. alternativly you could come up with an excuse to visit your friends or family for a few days alone, some time apart may make you feel compleatly different or help you work out how you really feel. either way this is about delving deep to find weather the problem is you or him. good luck!

Answer 2

To be honest, I think you may be suffering with some kind of post-natal depression. I say this because I had similar feelings towards my partner when I had my son.

As you dont have any family around to support you, I suggest that you should maybe go and see a Doctor/Health Visitor who should be able to help you x