What is going on with me???

Question

Yesterday i woke up in a Weird mood, I just wanted to be alone all day. So i ended going to a few clothes store that i haven't been to in awhile & looked around & then i went to my grandma & couison's graves & i just sat there & cried. 9 months ago my boyfriend of 2 years passed away in a drowning accident. He was my everything. I love him with all my heart & soul. He was buried in Nebraska cause thats where his mom lives. I live in Texas & so i can't go to his grave & grieve like i want to. Its been so hard for me to accept that he is gone. Ive changed alot. When he died he took apart of me that ill never get back. I know some people might find this to be weird but i just sat there at my grandmas grave & talked about Andre & cried. All a sudden i couldnt cry anymore. It was weird. Every since yesterday i have felt weird. Like not myself. Whats up with me???

Answer 1

Sounds like it could be depression. Maybe you should see a psychiatrist.

Answer 2

Don't be afraid to grieve. It's perfectly natural. Just feel the feelings. Suppressing them will only make it harder in the future.  

Answer 3

yea... i think you should talk to a psychologist or someone close and understanding. I get like that myself at times, for various reasons, sometimes i cant put my finger on it, sometimes i can.. but it hurts either way. If you talk to someone about it, then you won't bottle it in or dwell on it so much and you'll also have a new outlook and prospective on it. I'm so sorry about your lost and i wish you nothing but the best it the future.

Answer 4

Wow, that's really sad.

This is something that we all have to deal with, sooner or later.  We ALL lose people we love, and have to learn to deal with it.  And we all do, somehow.

This will sound strange to you but you should think about it.  Depression is our way of punishing ourselves.  We get depressed when we feel we have failed, or screwed up, or that we aren't good enough, we don't live up to our own standards.

So this is not completely about Andre's death, it's also partly about -you-, about what is going on in your brain behind the curtain.  I know that sounds ridiculous, but think about it.

You have to be easier on yourself.  It was a bad break that Andre died.  It wasn't fair, to either him or you.  I know how you miss him in your life, I know how that can be.  But it might be that that's not what causes the depression nine months later, that's just the excuse you make for yourself.  Your depression is more than just sadness, more than just a feeling of loss.

And the thing is, only you can pull you out of this.  Counselling might help.  Fresh air and exercise helps, like going for walks. But in the end you just have to heal your heart.  It's like you are fighting yourself!  You have to go easier on yourself.

I know that doesn't help much, it just sounds weird.  I wish I could help more, but the thing is, nobody can.

Answer 5

U are in the grieving(sp?) stage, it's normal what u are feeling.  Just go through the motions,and let them come and go....what else can u do.  I also had a boyfriend who died,(suicide) but at least yours was a accident.  At last u had some time to be with them, and I'm sure he loved u very much.  It doesn't matter if he is in Nebraska, his spirit is with u.  One day u will be in the acceptance stage, u won't feel so weird any more.  hth

Answer 6

Honey i dont think there is anything wrong with u,,, I think that you need to understand that death is a part of life, and we may not like it at all but we have to face it. And thats what you have to do is grieve and you dont need his grave to grieve, the pain is inside of you and he's not at the graveyard anyway he is still in your heart, talk to him i believe he can hear you.. im sure he will always be with you no matter what!  You are allowed to be sad, and your allowed to be depressed as long as u dont let it become a part of your everyday life, he wouldnt want that for you!! Im so sorry that your hurting and im so sorry that death is so hard no matter who  it is honey its hard for all of us!  The closer we are to people the harder it is.  And its really ok to stay away from people and want to be alone, and its ok hurt but dont take to long ok. Dont let it consume you. Unless you feel like your totally out of control then try to understand that everything happens for a reason and its not your fault. Email if u need to talk ... and just need someone to understand " I do"

take care

bonnie j

Answer 7

Maybe you should see a psychologist who you can talk to about how you are feeling.

Answer 8

You're grieiving and feeling a range of emotions that are completely healthy and normal.  The passage of time will lessen the pain you feel right now.  Everyone deals with grief in different ways and at different stages.  Sometimes you want to be alone, which is okay, sometimes you want people around you.  When you feel ready try talking to someone you love and trust - it really helps to have someone listen: its like a big emotional block being removed, it all comes ouring out of you and then you feel better placed to move on.  Its hard losing someone you love.  But try to look to the future, take one day at a time, your pain will lessen with time.  Stay strong

Answer 9

Depression?  Eat like a bowl of ice cream or your favorite food, I think that might help