What is in the umbrella of adoption?

Question

In light of some thinking adoption is just a black and white issue, I wanted to invite you to this link to look at what I call the adoption concept map and leave your feedback on areas that need reform.

This is something myself and many others, adoptive parents, adoptees, and parents who have surrendered children to adoption have contributed to, in order to pinpoint where reform is needed, to understand the umbrella of adoption more clearly and to create programs to improve the current machine of adoption.

Your insight on whats missing is welcome!

http://withoutatribe.blogspot.com/2008/02/blog-post.html

Answer 1

Wow! this is an amazing document. And a very interesting question. And wow, I think you've maybe managed to hit upon a question that no one on here would find controversial.

Okay, not sure if this is what you want or not, but here are some things I'm thinking based on our adoption, and maybe of others that I know about).

--Under "Multiple Adoptions" or maybe as a separate category: our daughter was with a Chinese foster family from the day she was found at about 5 weeks (we were told), until the day we met her at 14 months. There were 3 or 4 other babies in the home as well. So that isn't multiple adoptions or multiple foster placements, but it was very significant to her (and to us, I'm ever so grateful to that family for having given her such a good start and, I'm convinced, their love).

A similar scenario to this sometimes happened/happens in Guatemala as well, I think, and sometimes in private/agency adoptions in the US.

And maybe a separate place for orphanage care?

Or maybe the possible places where a child was living before they were adopted would be under each age? Or in a separate place entirely? Or maybe it already is and I've missed it.

--Just a typo, under Religion relative to adoptive family, you have "race" instead of religion.

--I'm pretty sure that Ukraine does adoptions through the government, at least mostly.

--And I think (not sure) that Taiwan is kind of through an agency.

--I think type of adoption system should be a separate category from race and ethnicity, as you have it. I think the type of adoption system can have a big effect on how everyone involved in adoption views it. For instance if I had adopted and then found out my child was born to a woman who was imprisoned and forced to breed in Guatemala, or was stolen from her parents in Hunan, then I would feel so horrible -- and if I were the adoptee-- oh, heartbreak. So I think it is different enough to deserve its own category. (assuming I have understood the question you wrote in the blog).

--my gut feeling is that there might be more detail to the "level of openess" category. But I don't have any great ideas about what they would be right now. Maybe something about whether issues are raised primarily by the adoptive parents or the adoptee? Also, ethnicity comes in here also, because when parents and children don't "match," then you kind of have to be open, as even strangers bring it up.

I'm going to post this now and then add to it, so as not to lose everything. More in a bit....

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Okay, I'm back:

--Under Reasons for Relinquishment, One Child Policy, if you wanted to get into this much detail, this would have quite a few subreasons, because it isn't as simple as the One Child Policy. The vast majority of parents in China do NOT abandon their kids, so there are other reasons along with the government policy.

Anyway, under One Child, could be reasons such as poverty (if you have money you can just register "over quota" children), coercion by granparents of the child, pressure to abandon a girl and try for a boy, pressure to abandon a special needs child and try for a healthier one, stigma of single motherhood, etc.

--And I don't know if you want to put informal adoptions and/or guardianship in here at all. Probably not, as you already have bitten off a huge task. But research shows that in China there is a huge number of children who have been informally "adopted" and are living off the books. And according to some things I have read, it is possible in China to pay the huge fees and register a child, and then no matter who they were born to, they are officially "yours"--whether they were officially adopted or not.

**Okay, now I'm a little confused. Do you want to just include adoptions in the USA? And more or less in modern times? If not, I could have more, but again, I think I'm being too detailed. Sorry, always a problem with a brain like mine!

--Not sure I understand the "notice in paper" branch under termination of parental rights. Oh, wait, duh, that is for the father, right? Should it be a separate branch for that?

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--under "not prepared" -- would it be a separate branch for someone like the mother of the child Dan Savage adopted. As described in >The Kid< she was homeless by choice and moved around the country. Or maybe that would just be crazy life?

--In China, some children are abandoned not in a public place but in a more private one, either at the home of potential adoptive parents, at the home of someone connected to an orphanage, or sometimes just in a field or by the side of a rural road somewhere.

Oh, okay, I see the multiple adoptions and foster care part I first put in down here, I think.

--Under motivations for adopting you could add pregnancy losses and/or infant or child death(s) and subsequently not being able to bear the thought of another loss.

--Also possibly a genetic disease that runs in the family of the adoptive parents.

Okay, I think I'd better stop for now, I should be cleaning up for Chinese New Year. Maybe more tomorrow, or I'll just email you or comment on the blog.

Night!

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Okay, thought of a couple more and didn't want to forget them. Um, darn! Oh yeah:

--Reason for adopting: living in the country you adopted from at the time and seeing the situation in the country, knowing the family, etc.

--Ties of blood or affinity to a particular country/ethnicity

Okay, really, Good night!

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Okay, back again:

Under Degree of Ethicalness, I'm wondering about the Cultural differences segment. I know next to nothing about either of these practices (my understanding is that Islam does not really allow adoption per se, that is the child keeps their first father's name, etc.), so I'm not sure if these belong in the Not Ethical category, or if perhaps they should have their own branch? Another cultural difference I know of, and this I think has pretty much died out now, so you might not want to include it: in China (and maybe other places where Confucianism is very strong or males are (were) prized well above females) there was a practice of "adopting" a girl as a way to "lead in" a boy, that is adopting a girl would make a woman in the household subsequently get pregnant with a boy, who would be betrothed to the "adopted" girl. Kind of out there, might not want to include this.

--Under ethicalness, perhaps a borderline or changing category? I am thinking of countries like South Korea, and to a lesser extent China, maybe other places, I'm not sure. Anyway, what I have seen talked about is that International Adoption from Korea (and possibly China) is keeping the countries from solving their own problems by either supporting mothers (more in Korea, China has other issues for sure), or by adopting the children domestically. In China, for instance, more and more there are Chinese families looking to adopt who do so on the "gray market"--possibly because adoptable children are going overseas.  See this blog for thoughts about this:

http://research-china.blogspot.com/2008/...

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Okay, I think that is about it on the map. I'd love to see the adoptee centered one!

Gershom, you mention wanting to have research to back up the various parts. If you want, I might be interested in helping with that. As a librarian, research is what I do, and I enjoy it. Not sure how much time I could devote or what exactly you envision, but i am interested! I'm not sure I get email via Y!A, as I never have gotten any, so spam filter might catch it, so I'll leave a message on your blog in case you are interested.

Answer 2

Is there a "printable view"?  My brain works best on paper, and I really want to help.

Answer 3

holy cow gershom! i am blown away. this is going to take some time. i will be back, promise.

nice job, wonderful site

Answer 4

WOW!!

The only thing i can think to add is under first parent relinquishment, racism was a factor in our Birth Mother choosing adoption.  Some members of her family were very racist.  How big a factor it played i don't know but it was a factor.

Thanks for the website.

Answer 5

I'm not sure where my reasons for relinqushment would fit on your map ( which is great by the way) I really didn't want my family getting their hands on her the way they did me.

To those of you who thumbs downed me: I hope you realize you just agreed that incest and rape of young family members is Okay. Good Job..

Answer 6

I told you that you would need a bigger piece of paper. ;o)

Answer 7

Gershom,

This is great!  Here are some things from our adoption journey that I don't know if or where it would fit on your map:

US Adoption - "identified" adoptions (which probably falls under agency as they process the paperwork but it's where the bio family finds the adoptive parents privately and then use an agency to proceed.

Special Needs - Medical Disorders/Issues (would that fall under "Surface"?)

1st Parent Relinquishment - Victim of crime (i.e. rape).  While that wasn't in our story, it may be something that occurs for others (or maybe it falls under another area on your map).  Another thought for this category might be "Protection" also.  Protection from an abusive spouse or as Lori said earlier "not wanting them to get their hands on the child like they did her".  

Openness in Adoption - Is there a place to include extended families in this category.  For example, we have a beautiful completely open relationship with our son's bio grandparents, but not with his parents.  In some cases of foster care especially, this may be something that occurs more often if a bio parent has been removed for abusive reasons but the extended family is still involved.  

Just a few thoughts while glancing over it.  I think you have done a great job - and my suggestions are in no way meant to take away from that.  Just adding a few extra thoughts from our journey.

Answer 8

Hi. Wow what a great site. I am utterly speechless. Have saved it to my favorites if you dont mind. Great read thanks.

P.S I am sorry that I havent actually answered the question. Will be back to do so though. Got a nice cup of tea and bar of chocolate so I am ready to read. lmao

Answer 9

Wow, good work, Gershom

Thinking cap on, back later

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