What is it? homosexuality,lack of self esteem, or afraid to love or sexual abused past?

Question

I dont know whats going on with me.... im 26 and I dont like men telling me im pretty, I dont like men opening up the doors for me... I dont like men paying for me to eat or anything else... I was dating this guy and we would talk over the internet and we met once (before we started talking on the internet)we stopped chatting for a while due to his job and now he left me a message on my phone... saying i missed you.... now I have said numerous times I miss him but over the internet(I type it in) but hearing his voice is scary and him saying I miss you that just bothers me... when other guys say I miss you where have you been to my face I get scared and I shy away from them or I will try to argue with them so they wont be near me anymore... granted I was sexually abused by men growing up (I seriously think more than once) and men just scare the c**p out of me... being in a relationship with a guy would scare the heck out of me.... as far as women... I dont think im a L*****n because I cant see myself with a woman as far as a relationship at all.... friends....sure... I admit my self-esteem(you can tell in my wardrobe) is crushed to the ground right now due to being young... I dont think im pretty at all I have something on me that I would like to change about me... I dont think im smart (although I have 2 degree already and working on a 3rd one) im very shy due to this and when I talk honestly it seems like no one is listening at work or a home (I live at home with my parents) a trying to find my place... I just graduated from college and Im just trying to venture out a bit(yes I have a well benifitted stressful career) tell me what can be happening? am I too independent, am I a L*****n and do know it, or is my self-esteem too low due to men who were in my life as a child damaging my self worth

im 26 and afraid of men and still a virgin

Answer 1

I think you need to see someone professional. as you are still carrying feeling of unworth, ugly, not good enough, not pretty, all of this is from being abuse, and you have set up a mental defense. I am sorry to hear that someone would put you through that, and I pray That God will remove the burden of it from you, so you can live a great rewarding life..don;t blame yourself for what some idiot over powered you with, don;t let him have that hold on your being. release it  In Jesus Name!!

Answer 2

its okay to still be a virgin at your age! I would seek some counseling if I were you. It helps to talk with someone who can give you tips on becoming more relaxed. I too was sexually abused when I was younger, but am able to function fine around men and women both,  not everyone is so lucky.

One thing to remember, not every man is the same as that one who abused you. You are an adult now, now is the time to get help that you didn't receive before.

Good luck.

Answer 3

simple become a L*****n so u will not afraid of mens..

Answer 4

Oh girl, i'm sorry! I don't think you are a L*****n, you would know it if you were! How you don't like to have men open doors or pay for you, is b/c you want to prove you can do it. With the different relationships, maybe you should talk to a doctor, you almost sound depressed. If I were you I would definitely talk to a doctor. But keep your head up you are worth way more then what you think!

Answer 5

unless your attracted to women, you are not a L*****n. and even then, it doesn't mean your a L*****n, you could just find them attractive but have no interest, or be bi sexual.

personallyaly i find women generally speaking more pleasing to look at then guys. however i love my boyfriend and have been with him over a year and a half. and life was great once i got past my whole fear of the p***s.

The doctors beleive i sexuallyraly abused as a child, and that left me to have a conditioniton that made s*x, literaly rape to me. so then i was sexuraly abused by a boyfriend since i allowed him to have s*x with me since at the time doctors kept telling me there was nothing wrong with me. (all the while making my conditon worse).

but then i found my love, who was amazingly understanding. He was older then me, by 2 years but was not pushing for s*x (all fairness i basicaly told him right off he may as well get lost since i was broken and couldnt have s*x) but he didnt leave, he was fine with that, and though love and understanding along with time i became unbroken.

at the start, i was literealy scared of guys, and their p***s's. now i lovemy boyfriend and every inch of him. though i still have some pain from time to time, that is now mainly due to another condition i have. but thats life.

if you were abused as a child, it might be smart to look up vaganismus , since im betting theres a good chance it will play a role in your life and does take a while to turn around. So knowing about it now can help you try to mend yourself.

(sorry about spelling, but spell check is not working right so cant fix it)

www.vaginismus.com  

Answer 6

u are not L*****n, u sound fine but go to a club and meet and talk to people not online ones there is someone for u, a man, but women are fine to