What is it like having two children? i have one 4 month old and i'm not sure i could cope with another one!

Question

i've always thought i'd have two because it would be nice for them to have each other, but even when people say "see how you feel in 8 months", i can only think that another child would be twice the work with even less sleep than i get now. i sound selfish now don't i! what do you do with a toddler if you are constantly feeding a baby and dealing with its puke and tears etc.??

Answer 1

I had my second baby when my first was 11 and a half months old. It was actually a lot better than I thought it would be. I just got them on a good routine and as they grew older the routine changed to adjust to the stages they were in. Being an only child was lonely and I am so glad they have each other now at 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. My son was very helpful with the baby and once he realized it was going away he started being better around her. He had his time to himself to play while I took care of the baby and he did get jealous but they do realize that they will get their own time with mommy. It is twice the work but it doesn't seem like it after a while.

Answer 2

Golly...you can't think straight about it now! Your still hormonal and in shock! Lol...it took me 3 years to get over it and have another!

Answer 3

i have a 19 month old and a 2 week old and its really not that bad. the newborn is good and only cry when she is hungry and my 19 month old is so good with her and wants to help all the time. i can honestly say i dont loose alot of sleep my son sleeps all night and the newborn wakes up every 5-6 hours to eat. its actually not as bad as people told me it wa going to be

Answer 4

hi there.

personally i would leave it until your little one is a year old,a nd walking. Because at the moment its easy , your 4mth old cant crawl/walk/talk etc.

Answer 5

well your right.. if you are unsure, don't have another one now.   you can have a perfectly quiet, peaceful baby and then have another who is running off the walls.  Or worse yet, medically impaired.   I wouldn't have another one until you are perfectly sure its what you can handle now.  

I had three back to back and it was like having triplets. then again I love the challenges I had with all them.  I love chaos in my life so it was wonderful.  They are all happy teenagers now , but each one is completly different then the other.  One was calm, one was wild , one is so shy she sticks to my side.

Answer 6

Well i kept putting it off and off, my son is nw 6, 7 in October, and i would love another one.

We're gonna start trying begining of next year. which will make my son nearly 8 by the time i have the new baby. Only time will tell weather it be good for you to have one nw or later on.

You'll know when the time is right, but dont have one till you feel ready, llke you say its hard work and thats at any age. I dont think there is a 'right' time to have another its whenever you feel ready,

Good Luck x

Answer 7

I have 3 kids!  6 years, 3 years, and 4 months.....

It's hectic, but it's well worth it!

Your baby is only 4 months now.  It's hard to imagine having another baby this quickly.  But when your baby is around 2 years, I bet you'll start thinking you could handle another baby!

By 2 years, children are a little more independent.  They usually sleep pretty well, then can feed themselves, and play by themselves for short amounts of time.

Don't worry!  You can handle it!

Enjoy your 4 month old, the time goes by so fast! ~

Answer 8

I was on here asking the exact same thing lol!

People say: "you just cope"

I suppose if you think about anything too much you will never do it.

My friends say its much harder going from no kids to 1 then going from 1 kid to 2.

I was planning to have 2 with a 1.5 year age gap but now I have my 4 month old boy I think i'll leave a 3 year gap so that it will be easier to cope.

Answer 9

u deal with it. think of the women that had twins then asked her husband to have another baby she wanted boys and got six more kids. i think it is john and kate pluse eight. and then there is another would that is having her 17 or 18 baby. each one of her kids helps out the oldest is i think 18 or 19 by now. just think of that. your baby is young give it till he or she is one then u will look back and say what happen to that little baby i want another one. i have a 11 month old. and cant believe he will be one in a month. i want another one but not for two more years. my hsuband thinks it will be three years if not longer. he only wants two i want three. i told him he can get cut and we wont have to worry about the third and he said no so i said then looks like we are having a third then. my mom did and also took care of a daycare when i was born. she would tell me when i was young while she would nurse me she couldnt take or i would scream. my son didnt do that  i think god for that. i think right now u are just getting use to being mommy so right now that is the last thing on your mind. my son was colic at that age so yeah not fun. i think after a month or two u will feel better and take some time away from baby it might help i am thinking about getting a job so i can get away from him for a bit good luck.

Answer 10

I have a 24 month old and and 8 month old. There are days when I want to scream and pull my hair out as I go from kid to kid pulling them out of corners and trouble. Yet there are days when it's great and I seem them hugging each other. The other day my son pulled himself up to the couch for the first time and my daughter was there waiting to give him a kiss of congratulations.

Plus if you do want to have more then one here is something to hink about...having them close together may cause headaches now but you will not have to be paying for baby-sitters for ever. Our end of no social life should occur in about 8 years.

Party at my house!:)

Answer 11

Hi,

I have 2 boys, one 7 and 2.  We had only one for a while, difficulty with maintaining a pregnancy.  I always wanted two, and know that the age difference with my boys has helped in that the older one I can reason with and the issues are not the same.  

You are sleep deprived and still adjusting to all of the parts of being a parent, responsible for a little one.  Although having another child seems like, oh my God, the second one benefits from your learning experiences from the first.  You won't be as nervous or neurotic with the second.  The tough thing is if you have another baby soon, the two may argue more as they will be in competition for same toys, etc.  But, they will also enjoy each other's company and have similar interests.

I would wait until you have had some good nights sleep, talk to your hubby, and think about your family goals and resources.  Think about how much you are doing now that you never thought you could!  It is amazing what you can do and rise to the occasion for.

Answer 12

Things will get easier, much easier when they hit 2 years old. Just make sure you teach them how to listen because by the time theyre 2 they will be able to comprehend what you are saying, so its easier to tell them what to do and what not to do. The first year is always hardest but things just get better from there. Try not to baby them too much, like running to them every time they fall. If you do they will know that something is wrong and they will cry, and they will do that for years, for little things as well. If you want to avoid too much tears thats my advice.

Answer 13

well im not a parent, but i plan on having 2 children. but i wouldnt have them so close in age. at 4 months she/he is prolly a LOT of work.

i think tyou should wait until she/he is about 2 years old before you think about having more.

Answer 14

haha...I'm in the same boat. Although, I have a 21 month old, and I'm almost 4 months pregnant with #2, and my biggest fear is how to handle them both since my son will be just a little over 2 years when the new one arrives. I think about the people that have twins, triplets, and that show jon & kate plus 8, and realize that having two will be manageable. They will be at different stages, and if you wait to get pregnant your your first to be about a year and a half, then they will be more independant when the next one comes along to help you out. My son is now walking, talking, tells me what he needs and wants, so it is a lot easier to deal with. I think it should be fine. After the first year things get a lot easier. Check back with me in about 7 months, and I'll let you know how it is with two.:)

Answer 15

....when you have your 1st kid..you always think its SOO hard...but then you have the 2nd kid, and realize that you were .....how do you say it..

overprotective, , just overdoing every aspect of having the kid....

Anyways, this is how it works.  When you have the 1st...its difficult..as you say, all the caretaking is new to you, sleepless nights, adjusting to not being selfish, etc....

the 2nd one..much easier.  in fact, theres a 50/50 shot that you are going to be able to reuse many of the things you have....(you know, if its a boy or girl)..h**l, you can reuse about 100% of the stuff if yo uwere like me, i bought my 1st kid (daughter) many boy toys and clothes, just becuase...

now..when it comes to the 3rd...this is where there is difficulty.  you have 2 arms, ...but 3 children.....the 3rd kid is the one that breaks our spirit, that 3rd kid will KILL you

in a funny way....im not saying you shouldnt have more kids, but im just saying that WOW...the change up to 3 kids was difficult...

the 4th kid...well chances are you had a boy and a girl by now, and the 4th kid is absolutely free.  you have boy and girl stuff, you can reuse everything, you already have a kid or two in one bedroom, you have one kid by themselves in another bedroom, one more set of bunk beds, viola, youre set as far as home goes...

So you know....having 2 kids is great.  if youre that miserable, sleepless, and feel depraved, maybe youre overdoing the child raising...its not that much work at that age, they eat, p**p, and sleep...its the very nice and easy time.  its when they get older and get around on their own, and figure out how to be mouthy thats a PIA  

see yah

Answer 16

i felt the same way with my first david now 21/2 but its not that hard i have 3 month old bryan as well best thing is routine and your sorted i get between 6-8 hours sleep a night as both boys sleep through and im 6 wks pregnant with my 3 rd so hope you find it in you to have another nad im sure you will cope just fine

Answer 17

Your not sounding selfish, with a 4 month old baby the last thing you should want to think about is how would you cope with another one! My son was 17 months old when my 2nd was born and it was hard. Luckily my first was a good sleeper by the time my 2nd came along, but as for getting on with life... as soon as i wanted to feed the baby, my oldest needed something and this carried on for months. Thing is, i think you just get used to it, things have got to be done so you just get on with it and adapt. My boys are now 2 and 4 and they play together so nicely, yes they fight but which kids dont?! Now im expecting my third and im sure things will get hectic again, but i know i'll cope.. because i have to.

Good luck xxxxx

Answer 18

I had a newborn daughter, a 16 month old daughter and a 32 month old son to cope with all in one go. I actually find it harder now that they are 10, 9 and 7.5. Especially with my girs, all they do is fight. I must say that it was worth all the sleepless nights, puke etc. U think u wont cope, but u do. It just comes to us females naturally.

Answer 19

have one when the first is older...about 8ish or something...

P.s i dont have kids of my own (yet)...but i do have 5 siblings...lol

Answer 20

i think that its far too early to think about weather you want another child. I had my second 8 years after my first and i feel that it worked out just right. I planned to have another when my first was 5 but waited a lot longer than expected. Dont be so hard on yourself.just enjoy this ittlun and forget about more kids. You will know in time when your ready for another.

Answer 21

It's not selfish at all.  Moms need their sleep to function to take care of their child.  You can't have a half passed out, half awake mom doing everything.  I got pregnant again when my son was 5 months.  I am not 13 weeks pregnant and my son is 7 months, and mykids will be 13 months apart.  I'm not too worried about it beacuse with newborns, they sleep ALL the time for the first 2 almost 3 months.  ANd then once they start getting mobile, I will be teaching my son how to be around a baby and I feel I can handle them . I am a stay at home mom so that helps.  I plan on using a babysling a lot and having the baby oni me while I am spending time with my son.  Let me son participate etc...  It has, and can be done.  If it happens it happens.

Answer 22

I vowed up and down and swore to God I would never have another child after #1 was born.  People would look at me and say wait and see.  Sure enough, around 15-18 months, I starting thinking, wow, this is pretty great.  And along came number 2.  After #2, I knew it was the end.  I was freaked out about the sleeping, the feedings, teeth, going anywhere in 20 minutes or less, vacations, etc.  Then sure 'nuf, when she was older I was wistful thinking if I were younger, I'd have another.... and then along came surprise #3.  

Right now you are in some tough times.  It will get easier and you will amaze yourself at how easy you will handle it. But don't have a baby out of obligation.  I knew, despite age limits, that #3 was it.  I just have a feeling of completion.  So you may have that at #1.  Nothing wrong with that and you need to make your own choice.

Answer 23

My second boy was born when the first was 23 months old.The first one was and stil is a very nervous child and difficult to bring up...people told me: are you sure you want to go for your second? I said:"if I think about it I won´t so,yes,I´m going for my second".

My second boy has been the easiest child to bring up (he´s almost 4 years old now) He slept his first whole night through at 2 months old,and has slept very well ever since.With food he´s very good,character? so sweet and he is always there to help (his own way of course).

So having a second baby has been very very easy for me.They are both very close,they play together (my eldest is going to turn 6 soon).

The first two years are the hardest....then when they become more independent it´s better if there´s two...they play together and spend a lot of time in their room so I have time for myself as well.An only child needs to have children around and seeks for friends or the parents to play with (I´m an only child,and one of the things I always thought was being a mother of two)