What is it like to be a mother?

Question

I'm 19 years old, in college, and my fiance and I are getting married in a year and a half when I am through. I just want to know what it's like to be a mother, the feelings you have, and how being pregnant feels, and just what the whole having your first child experience is like. Do you fight alot with your husband? Are there times where you just want to be by yourself? Did you ever wish things were like they were before the baby? Obviously I won't know until I go through it myself, but I just want some insights. We aren't planning a baby anytime soon, not until at least a few years after marriage but I am just curious! Thanks!

Answer 1

Yes, yes and Yes to all of those questions.  Yet is the most fulfilling and wonderful job you can ever have.  That child is the best of both of you, and you cherish each and every moment, although there are times all of those things you mentioned and so much more will take place.  Its hard, it is very very hard to be a mom.  There is alot of guilt associated with the word "Mom".  you worry you are not giving enough of your time to your spouse or your baby or both.   You worry alot....but you wouldnt trade it for anything in the world either.

There is a poem that best describes how I feel...

Before I was a Mom:

Before I was a Mom,

I never tripped over toys

or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not

my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.



Before I was a Mom,

I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind

and my thoughts.

I slept all night.



Before I was a Mom,

I never held down a screaming child

so doctors could do tests.

Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night

watching a baby sleep.



Before I was a Mom,

I never held a sleeping baby just because

I didn't want to put her down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces

when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small

could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.



Before I was a Mom,

I didn't know the feeling of

having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel

to feed a hungry baby.  

I didn't know that bond

between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small

could make me feel so important and happy.



Before I was a Mom,

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night

every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth,

the joy,

the love,

the heartache,

the wonderment

or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,

before I was a Mom.

Answer 2

Me and my husband have a 5 yr old, 2 yr old, and 1 yr. old and I am 36 wks pregnant.  There are DEFINITELY times when me and my husband are stressed out and tend to take it out on each other, but thats when we have to find a good babysitter and get some alone time.  Thats the most important thing, not to neglect each other, or forget about your spouses feeling.  My children are normal children, they are wild, throw fits when there sleepy, and basically now how to drive me crazy but it's not a day that goes by that I dont thank God for blessing me with them.  Congrats to you for making good decisions and doing things the RIGHT way.  Keep on doing what your doing and everything will work out good for you.

Answer 3

Being a mother is tiring. I often wish I was in college again but I'm sure if I were magically whisked back to that time, I would miss my daughter so much that I wouldn't know what to do.

Being pregnant is hard at first, then you'll feel strong and natural. I feel ancient when I'm pregnant, I just imagine all the women in the past who did it without all the help we have now.

I don't fight with my husband ... except when he slams the toilet seat right next door to my daughter's crib ;) ... Kidding.

You'll be great.

Answer 4

Being a mother is unlike anything you could imagine. The feeling of love for your child is never ending & unconditional. I was afraid that I wouldn't be prepared to be a mom, but it's amazing how much comes naturally.

When I was pregnant, aside from being nauseous so much (that doesn't happen to everyone), at first it felt unreal because it takes a while to show & to start feeling movement.. but when you do, you start feeling like it's so real & become so connected to your baby long before he or she is born. It's amazing. There are websites like i-am-pregnant.com amongst others that tell you your baby's development week by week during your pregnancy which makes each week even more exciting. I went to lamaze classes with my husband. It put my mind at ease knowing what to expect. I think putting my mind at ease was actually more important than the actual things I learned.

Near the end of my pregnancy I just felt huge especially because I'm only 5' tall & pretty petite. I had to sleep on my side with a pillow propped under the side of my belly. If I tried to sleep on my back the baby felt heavy on me. The actual childbirth went a lot smoother & quicker than I expected. My water broke at 2 am & my son was delivered at about 4:30 am. I did it without any drugs or epidural, not that I think there's anything wrong with taking them. I think it made it easier to push..

My husband was a great help that first week he stayed home. Oh those sleepless nights.. My husband & I have fought a descent amount. Having a baby changes your whole life. But it sounds like you guys are taking your time which is good. I think my husband & I had a harder time because we married & had a baby pretty quickly & probably could've taken more time to get to know each other.. but we're getting through our issues through our love for each other & our love for our son. My husband & I used to do everything together so it is hard when he does things without me now. Baby is my full-time job & he goes to sleep pretty early.. so I'm in early too. My husband did wait a while before going to movies with friends & stuff because he felt bad. But I thought it would be selfish if I held him back. My mom babysits for us sometimes so we can go out together. I know that when our son gets a little bigger all 3 of us can do more things together. The transition was just a bit hard for me. But I love my son so much & I wouldn't wish for it to have happened any other way, because if it happened at different time it wouldn't be him.

There are hardly ever any times when I just want to be by myself because now that I'm a stay at home mom, it's usually just me & baby so any interaction with my husband, family or friends is welcome!

I have to say that having a baby has made my life more complete. It's so amazing watching this little guy grow & learn. The sense of pride I get when people say how good he's doing, how healthy he is, what a great little personality he has, etc is immeasurable.

Well I hope my insight helped! Congratulations on your engagement! Good luck & all the best to you & your fiance!

Answer 5

It's different being a mother.  You have a whole other person to watch out for.  One that you are totally responsible for.  The Pregnancy feeling is different for each person and each pregnancy.  Some women have morning sickness, gain a lot of weight, and some women fly through it without any problems at all.

I fought with my hubby over some of the most stupidest things, and I still do, that will never change.lol

Yes there are times when I'd love to have at least five minutes to myself, and some of the time I do get them...

I don't ever wish that I didn't have my children, I love all 3 of them.  Although sometimes I wish I would have waited a year.  I had just turned 20 when I had my first, my 2nd followed 2 1/2 years later, then about 18 months later my 3rd came along.

So no matter what life throws your way, you'll find a way through.

Answer 6

OK, I am pregnant with my 3rd, and Sick as a dog again... feels like I have a hangover and a really bad one at that.  Sure I fight with my husband, our lives changed my oldest is 3 1/2 right now, and well I stay at home which yes is a blessing because no one will care for your child like you will, but then you basically let your whole life be controlled by your kids too so getting out and having dates with your hubbie and making it work by keeping the love alive is essential then you don't sweat the small stuff but both have to be on board one can't do it alone ( right now I am doing a lot of things on my own and there is no romance so I pick fights just to get adult contact, otherwise he just ignores me),

Our first came only 1 1/2 years into the marriage we had been together for five years before we married, and we are not YOUNG or as young as you:) we wanted a family but now after the fact yes I wish I would have waited just one more year, to travel see my family back home which right now is basically impossible to leave three kids for  a week or two and for the money you can't just go for two weeks it isn't worth it.  You would be spending on airfare alone more than the house payment which no kids is great but with kids you feel like your not giving all you can to your kids you feel greedy - so you don't spend the money.

Those things you say you would love to do, well with kids it makes it about 100 X harder because you kids demand attention, require love and affection, and need to be played with all the time, which leaves little time to do those want things that you would do but...

Now kids, are really funny and the things that make them laugh just warm your heart, they are these great little beings that think and process things at an unbeliveable rate, the are opinionated and curious at the same time.  And if your ever upset with them just watch them sleep you forgive everything.