What is it that has made it so socially acceptable to ignore responsibility and commitment?

Question

Because I certainly missed the memo stating that it was okay to disregard things like that.

That's my main question.

If you can, answer this one too?

Do you have any tips for me so that I can raise my son to not be so weak??

Answer 1

People with bad manners.  Who scare people.  

In today's climate saying "EXCUSE me? What you said was offensive"  can get you killed.   I got threatened for telling a little boy he needed to watch his language in public.  His momma-bear came completely unglued and started screaming that she was going knock me on my *** for even daring to talk to her kid.     His language was both rude and offensive.  She was fine with it and I guess we all should be.    

Answer 2

Bainaash has it exactly right. We aren't teaching our kids. It is not liberals. I'm a liberal. It's unacceptable to me that people are lazy and just don't care. I think it's more a reflection of how wealthy our society has become. With money then old attitudes gets tossed out because they aren't convenient and people get lazy. They don't want to have to work. Have you been around the rich? They are so lazy. (not all of them work for a living) Their attitudes like a lot of other things get passed down to us. I think that is what is happening. I believe in commitment and responsibility. My liberal friends are firm believers in that too. We take pride in it actually. It builds good self-esteem. We are self-reliant because we were taught to be. Kids today aren't taught that. I know for a fact that my stepkids aren't. It's selfishness that they aren't being taught. Parents can't see it or won't see it because of course it's all about them and their needs. Forget what their kids need. Yes, I'm a liberal. I work hard. I am disciplined.

It's annoying to be stood up because of other people's lack of commitment. They don't care.

I'm sure that you will do fine with your son. Just think of what is best for him in terms of teaching him. Think of how what you do affects him and what he might be taking away from it. Have fun with him. Give him a voice. Let him know that you care. Don't be so quick to judge. Ask. But know that he is a kid and doesn't always make the best choices. Teach him to make better choices, think things through. Encourage him. Teach him values and explain why those values.

I'm a stepmom, part-time. I have fur babies, 2 cats. Let your son do stuff for himself. Just be there to help. My mom did that for me and it helped a lot.  But one thing I wish she did was ease up. She is a perfectionist so if it wasn't exactly her way, she would get upset and yell at me. It made me really nervous. When you first start out with something then it's not going to be perfect. She didn't have a lot of patience. But she says now that I was a good kid. My parents are proud of me and my accomplishments.

Don't worry too much. Just make sure your son is taken care of and don't spoil him too much. Let him earn what he has to some degree. He will appreciate it more. He will learn some value. But let him be a kid too. Balance. Strive for balance.  

Answer 3

I blame those darned hippies!  There was a movement in our country that told people that everything was all about doing what felt good to you and rejecting tradtional values just because they were traditional, not necessarily because they were wrong.  True, plenty of changes were needed, but things went to far; from too strict a code of expectations to a way too lax one.  People started being way too PC for their own good and part of that was doing away with disciplining children.  Now, please understand that I am not an advocate for beating children, but beating and discipline are two different things!  Discipline just means to teach, and people stopped teaching their children, so those kids grew up to be crappy adults.

What you can do with your son is to make sure you hold hima ccountable for the things he's old enough to be accountable for.  Cleaning his room, if he messes up, clean it.  Appologizing if he wrongs someone.  Being respectful to others, having an inside voice, not interrupting people when they are speaking.  Not putting all of his business out in the streets.  Helping him to understand that as wonderful a person as he is, the universe does not revolve around him.  His wants and needs are important, but so are everybody else's.  Everything else should fall into place.

Answer 4

Lack of accountability -- in other words, people don't get busted for ignoring their responsibilities.  It's too hard and too expensive for single moms to chase deadbeat dads -- that's why they get away with it.  

As for your son, I think it begins with small things -- holding him to promises, even things like showing up on time, or not flaking out on a play date.  And impressing on him that some things you go to because you have to, not because you enjoy them (funerals, boring birthday parties for elderly relatives).  

Answer 5

In answer to the first question, it is people who are lazy and it is though who surround them that allow those to be lazy and not call them on it.

As for you son not being strong or as you wrote to not be so weak.  Stop making decisions for him give him choices for instance.  Would you like a tuna or ham sandwich for lunch?  Once he realizes he is the one who truly decides how things will go this will bring confidence and strength and make him realize he is the one that makes the choice.

Good luck Mom

Answer 6

I ditto Patrick H...all the coddling of our kids these days...it's ridiculous. Our society will be nothing but weak people who don't stand up for themselves and never learn the value of a good lesson.

Answer 7

liberals and political correctness.  I'm not a conservative either.