What is it with quiet people?

Question

Ok so, I'm a waitress at a restaurant and there is this really weird guy that is a bus boy. He is EXTREMELY quiet and never says a word unless someone asks him a question. A few weeks ago I was on myspace and came across his profile and found out he writes music. I listened to some of his songs and they were like.... really really beautiful. Then I came to find out that he also writes the most popular column in a local media magazine. I told my friend who is also a waittress and she tried talking to him the other day at work and he just acted awkward and like he felt uncomfortable. I just don't understand it - why would someone so talented be so shy? Wouldn't he want people to know he's talented? And he's not bad looking at all!

Answer 1

He has an INTP personality.

Answer 2

Still waters run deep.  I guess he has more time to think since he is not engaged in meaningless conversation.  I am not talented at all, of course I love to talk! ;)

Answer 3

He might have a social anxiety disorder. Even if he's talented and good-looking.

Answer 4

Not to be rude but did you want anything to do with him before you found out he was so brilliant?

I am a very quiet person in general.  I don't socialize with many at all.  I don't care if anyone knows my talents or not.  The people who are important in my life know what they are.  Many intelligent people are very quiet.  You can learn more from being observant and listening than speaking all the time.  He might have also been home schooled or lived a sheltered life and lacks some social skills.  I have social skills I just choose not to use them.  

Any reason some very intelligent or "weird" people are quiet is because when they were little and let some of that "weirdness" come out people made fun of them... so they learned really quick just to simply stay quiet.  

If you want to be his friend and strike up a conversation just keep it general until you find common ground.  Simply smile at first to let him know "the waters are friendly".  

Answer 5

Some people are just very private. Some may feel like they are bragging or showing off if they talk about their talents and interests. Everyone has a different personality... =)

Answer 6

He IS talking. Just because he doesn't use his mouth and vocal cords doesn't mean he isn't talking. Nor is he shy. Shy people don't usually write columns for others to read or put out music for others to listen to. Writing is a much easier language to speak with because you can go back and edit what you say, you can say more and still get your point across and you can't be interrupted. Speech is also a very hard mechanism to master, even WITH it preprogramed into our DNA, so if the resistance is set too high, other outlets must be used.

Try writing to him, or leave him a note.  

Answer 7

Some people find it easier to write and some people find it easier to talk.    

Answer 8

You got a problem with shy people??? Maybe he doesn't want to be bothered

Answer 9

I think his problem is that he is leading an absolute double life. He may be shy, but when he writes, he probably feels like he is a totally different person because he has a false sense of security in his column and songs. He can be a totally different person, almost like a Ms. Doubtfire thing I guess.

Answer 10

Most people who are extremely artistic and intelligent don't mesh well with the "real" world, finding it pretentious and fake.  Perhaps he has no interest in socializing.  

Also, surprise, surprise!  Some people are confident enough that they don't feel the need to tout their accomplishments to everyone who walks by.

You could be mistaking shyness with disinterest. I've often found this to be the case when it comes to unconventional people.

Answer 11

Maybe he's autistic.  I've read that some artistic people who seem really quirky or weird could be autistic.  They have trouble communicating, but are sometimes brilliant in other areas.  Try talking to this person a little bit at a time, and don't fawn over him and his music too much, because that could make him uncomfortable.  

Answer 12

If you're curious, try to strike up a conversation in a non-confronting way. A lot of the most brilliant people are introverted.

Answer 13

Don't judge a book by its covers. This should tell you that what you see is not exactly what you get.

So he prefers to be by himself. Let him be.  

Answer 14

sounds like you like him =)

oh and i heard this in a movie ( sisterhood of the traveling pants) that ' some people like to show off their beauty to the world and some like to hide it'

or something along the lines of that

Answer 15

some people don't want all the extra attention celebrities do some times people r shy because they don't know anyone example a shy kid in class sitting in the corner is sitting in the corner to avoid the popular kids because they can be s****..