What is mediation? Anyone been through it or know what happens?

Question

I have to go to mediation to settle who gets custody of me and my ex's 2 year old son. What happens?

Answer 1

Basically it's just a session where you and someone you are having issues with can sit and talk things out where the mediator helps to keep things civil and keep the flow of communication going.  

The idea is that if you are going to have to have some sort of relationship with the other person you are dealing with (which you'll obviously have to do because of your child), then this is a way to keep things livable.  Mediations focus not just on the issue at hand but also on the emotional sides of things to help actually work out problems.  I like this idea a lot better than simply letting the legal system decide who is "right" and "wrong" which tends to leave people false senses of "winning" and "loosing" and often leads to animosity between the two parties.

Answer 2

I have never been through it but they basically listen to both parties and a inexperienced person decides what story sounds the best and if she is not a unfit mom they will usually side with the mom.

Answer 3

it's a court order mediation from family court, you sit down with a mediation to finalized all custody/vistation issues over a certain period time until you settle the matter, if you don't settle everything, then the judge can decide

Answer 4

Well you discuss it.  If you can agree in it then you do not have to go to court.

Linda

Answer 5

There are two ways of going through mediation.  If mediation fails you go before the judge and the judge makes all the decisions.

First way.  Cheaper...  You and spouse go to a counselor and discuss all the points, come to an agreement.  Good to do if you two are close to agreement on the issues.

Second way. Much more expensive.  You, your lawyer, spouse, spouses lawyer, mediator in a room doing the same thing, discuss all the points, and come to an agreement.  Can take all day.  Paying lawyers $200/hour, mediator $300/hour, could be less depending on where you live.  

Who gets custody, holidays, vacations, etc.

If mediation doesn't work, too much fighting, one unwilling to give, then the mediator might put you in two different rooms and try again.  If this still doesn't work, then he'll recommend that it go to court for the judge to decide.

Good luck

Answer 6

In my divorce we did two days of mediation and never went to court.  Me and my lawyer were in one room, ex husband and his lawyer in another room far away from us and then there's another lawyer, the mediator, who came into our room, heard our side, what we want, etc.. then he goes to the other room and hears what he wanted and tried to sell our side..  in the end everyone gets some of what they want and some not but it's fair or you don't agree and go to court and spend big $$$