What is my 4 1/2 yr old acting like this ?

Question

my lil boy for the last month has been rebelling against me and everyone he see's examples today at dinner screeming for no reason .. i said come on please eat your dinner and he just refuse's thing is i previously have said fine go with out .. thinking he will eat when he is hungry but no not him he did not have n e thing for 3 days nore drink untill i had to feed him it ... i tried it a few times incase he was feeling under the weather and he just does them same .. its no just dinner its everything ... he doesnt want to play i get games out drawing painting everything u can imagine he aint intrested he just refuses i have tried being nasty like.. fine if u dont want to do n e thing thats up to you but you will be bored he just doesnt seem to care .. he is destroying everything ripping up books destroying toys pouring out shampoo's every where i dont know why the sudden change he was never like this and always very polite i have tried everything with him but i am losing faith now as he has been like this for a month ... can anyone suggest n e thing for me to try ?

Answer 1

Sounds like a four year old to me. A friend of the family the other week was saying you get the terrible twos and then the f***ing fours :D He's testing his boundaries and trying to figure out where he stands in the whole scheme of things. Make sure to firmly tell him no when he does something wrong, ignore him when he's kicking up a fuss (don't give him loads of attention, sit him in time out or put him in his room and hold the door shut until he calms down a bit). Reward good behaviour too, star charts are great with a prize when he has filled it. See a programme called House of Tiny Tear-aways for reference, the woman on there is very good. Don't try to force him to drink or eat his food, go out of the room and just leave him to it.

Answer 2

Have you asked him why he is so angry all of the time? Perhaps he is having a problem with someone and doesn't know how to tell you. If you have tried everything, and it seems as tho he is still constantly testing his boundaries, then tell him to go cut a switch, if you get my meaning. When children have no boundaries whatsoever, they feel out of control and therefore, they act out of control. Give him a good, solid swat on the bottom once in awhile. It will go a long way. I know swatting your baby sounds awful, but actually, you may only have to do it once. It seems like boys are more destructive than girls and also much harder to straighten out once they decide to be naughty. If you don't believe in spanking, at least shut him in his room, alone, everytime he does something awful. He will eventually learn that it's no fun when you're rotten.

Answer 3

Think back to when this behavior first started...

was there a major change in your household

did someone pass away or leave

anything like that? Did he start school? Has he been around any new people?

Sometimes changes that occur in a household that do not seem like a big deal to us as adults, are a huge big deal to children and can cause changes in a childs behavior. He is most likely acting out because he is angry about something.

If you cannot figure it out soon or if it doesn't change, I would suggest checking into some counseling for him so you can get him the help that he needs.

Answer 4

he is testing his limits gain controll punish him whippins or taking away his favorate things work well,,,

Answer 5

My child was like this and we went to a health food store and they suggested giving the child fish oil (mixed in peanut butter, or whatever else you can get him to eat). The Fish Oil really calmed him down (when we remember to give it to him). We think our child is A.D.D. but we didn’t want to go to the doctor and just put him on medication, so we tried the health food store route first and it seemed to work.

Answer 6

probably not what you want to hear...but he sounds like a pretty normal 4 1/2 year old to me!

if i can offer one piece of advice is to be consistent with the boundaries you set and learn to be patient!

Answer 7

You are not on your own - mine does the same thing when he is either not getting his own way or he wants attention- does not seem to care if it is good or bad.  Only thing that works for me is sending him to his room and not allowing him out untill I say so.  I have tried everything too, this is the one that keeps me the most sane - I do not have to listen to him, look at him etc which allows me time to calm down and deal with what he has done.  I have actually thrown away his favourite garage because he kept pulling bits of it and throwing it round the room.  Now I tell him - you know what mummy did with your garage.  Stop throwing things /breaking things etc.  and at least now he knows I will follow through.

Answer 8

My son has always been an angel but he is the same age and recently he has turned into a nightmare.  He answers back, wont do as he is told, is really rude to me and sometimes to other people and will throw the most almighty tantrum if he doesnt get his own way.  I didnt know what had happened to him but turns out a lot of little boys (most actually) go through this.

The things that work for me are time outs.  If he starts screaming or crying for an irrational reason or because he cant get his own way he goes on a time out until he is calm again.  If its a tantrum over a food or toy then whatever it is gets taken away and under no circumstances does he get it back that day.  I have had to be really tough and stick to my guns but his behaviour is getting better.  I tried confiscating things for him behaving badly but didnt find that worked.  Now if he behaves badly then he goes on a time out and if he continues to behave badly then i start to remove his favourite things but not toys, attention thing like his bedtime story.  This is him testing your limits and you need to be completely strict with him.  If my son pushes me even a little bit then he gets told off good and proper.  If you show him that he will not get ANY attention and will be sent out of the room and away from you and other people when he behaves badly he might just stop doing it.  Good luck!

My son usually snaps out of phases really quickly but this one has been going on for at least two or three months and is only just getting better.

Answer 9

I would talk to his dr. about this. Yes kids will test there limits and see what they can get by with. If this is something that just started all of a sudden and nothing in his life has changed then it could be something mentally going on. I don't mean tumor or something awful I mean a chemical unbalance or something like that. I would access what was going on in his life when the behaviors started. Write down notes so you won't forget anything when you talk to the dr. Good luck and bless you.  

Answer 10

get ready to click the thumbs down coz here I go.................I would slap the **** off him!! I have 2 boys the eldest of which tried my patience from the age of 18months to 6.  He is now 7 and at long last a pleasure to be around. They do mature and grow out of alot of behaviour but in the mean time it is so important to lay down exactly what is inappropriate behaviour. Plus it is so so important to overly commend the good behaviour and reward it!

I have had years of naughty step trials, reward charts...etc etc and none of them work.  So back to basics....a slap on the bum works wonders.................THUMBS DOWN!!!!.....lol