What is my daughter wanting from me?

Question

My four year old daughter acts like she is sad at least 6 hours of a 12 hour day. When I ask her what is wrong she always says she is bored and that we never do anything fun. When my older children would say that I knew I needed to make more time to play with them. When my four year old says she is bored and sad in the middle of our checker game or while we are playing house! I know she is spoiled (she is the baby!) But she hugs me and kisses me and seems very appreciative at the end of our day, and does not whine or cry. I do not try harder or play more when she says she is sad because I know I am doing as much as I should. I guess my question is... whats really going on? She acts depressed and neglected one minute and the happiest girl in the world the next, any suggestions?

Answer 1

research craniosacral therapy you can go this route of correcting mental stress due to something going on in her body that may be set on track in one or more sessions.wikipedia gives a good explanation of this therapy.the best resource and authority on it is at upledger.com John Upledger,D.O.,O.M.M. an osteopath  has written some books on the subject including a book entitled "a brain is born".on his site it resources people like myself who are trained to facilitate the work worldwide.it's a good route to go before the automatic solution of meds.

Answer 2

Ask her what she wants to do.  Or, maybe momma doesn't have the playing style she likes :P  I know how that is!  My three year old niece gets frustrated with me if I don't play "the right way".  

Maybe take her outside, or see if there are any children in your area she can play with.  Try mother's day out or some kind of preschool, so she can meet other kids her age.  

Answer 3

Take the time to talk to her to see what is on her mind, kids are very smart

Answer 4

She might just be acting this way to get extra attention from you.  Before she starts acting like this, take a minute in the middle of whatever you're doing with her and say something like, "I'm having so much fun with you" and give her some affection to go along with it.  If she starts to get extra attention when things are good, she may not feel the need to get it by acting sad.  She may just want random affection and not know how to ask for it.  If it continues, ask your pediatrician.  It could be just a phase but it doesn't hurt to ask and get additional information.

Answer 5

Try doing different things with her. Take her out to parks, for days out, feeding ducks.... Read her new books (she sounds advanced for her age..), Try to stretch her by playing memory games and things. Enroll her in some classes like a music class or horse riding and when she gets bored ask her what she wants to do instead! Arrange playdates and things and just funk up the schedule :) Trust me, if she's not aggressive and she's being loving, there's nothing wrong with her! She doesn't need a doctor or psychologist, don't worry yourself. Just try new things and give her a choice, stretch her a little!

Answer 6

Try to bring your daughter to the park to feed the ducks, or swimming. To the zoo also. Let her read to you a good book that will hold her interest. She might be to advance for her age but, if she still acts different than i will call the doctor and explain to him/she what is going on. She might need to see some one professional and good luck

Answer 7

She might be bored with her toys or doing the same thing all the time.  Swtich it up.  Take her to Chuck E Cheese, to a different and new park in a nearby town, to feed ducks or a petting zoo or something different.

Answer 8

You may have done too much, not too little. Children need to learn to amuse themselves. Provide her with a reasonable number of toys, open ended art materials books and space to play, then at least some of the time go on about doing what you need to do. She may be too accustomed to being amused and think every minute has to be entertaining. Give her less attention, not more. Let her know that you love her and enjoy spending time with her but she is a big girl and can do some things on her own.

Answer 9

My thoughts on this are that she is just trying to get a reaction out of you! She sees that you will turn it on even more when she acts like that! She is testing you so to speak to see what type of reaction she can get out of you with each behavior!

Honestly if it were me and this might not be the way to handle it - I would ask her if she wants to play something else after we are done playing our current game. If she says yes then play a different game if she says no or doesnt want to continue to play the current game them I would say thats ok then you can find something else to play by yourself or you can come help mommy with her chores!!

I would not give in to her demands of sadness or boredom anymore. The only way to teach her satisfaction is to force her to find it on her own or with the things already around her!

JMO

~Diane~

Answer 10

Try getting out of the house if just to go to the park etc..... This might help.

Edit: I read your additional post. It sounds like she is overstimulated and feels as though she needs to be entertained at all times. When I was young all we had was our imagination. Now days kids don't use their imagination because they don't have to. I would set aside a time each day to where she has to entertain herself.

Answer 11

shes being a typical child

Answer 12

your daughter sounds extremely intelligent!

my son is 4 and he dosent do that at all,, mine will just freak out and start screaming when he wants something or my attention,, he is straight to the point

your daughter is very smart and wants your attention xxxxxxxxxxx kids r so funny!

Answer 13

It's possible she could be bi-polar going from depressed to happy in a matter of minutes. If that is the case, then she doesn't even know why she is sad, just that she is.

I would try doing different things with her - take her outside for at least 30 minutes to an hour everyday. Do exercises with her, go for walks, etc. Do more active activies as that releases natural hormones to help her feel better.

Also - talk to her pediatrician about it. She might be more willing to talk to the doctor than to you. I know - that hurts. =( But sometimes kids have a hard time talking to their parents. Plus, a doctor would know which probing questions to ask to really get to the bottom of it and find the root cause. With her being so young though - don't let the doctor talk you into trying anti-depressants or anything. There isn't a single anti-depressant that has been proven effective in anyone under the age of 18, and have actually been found to worsen symptoms in kids. (any doctor with any amount of sense is not going to suggest medication, but just in case.)

Good luck!