What is my husband problem

Question

my step mother in law birthday is today and my daughter and i am baking her a cake,i get a long good with his step mom.

i don;t like his mom and he is mad that i did not do anything for her birthday and now he is mad because i am baking for his step mom.

am i wrong to bake his step mom a cake and not his real mom one. he does not want to know what i want to do to his mom on her birthday,.

Answer 1

No no no that is not wrong at all. Maybe it actually scares him a little that you get a long with his step mom better than his real mom. Epecially if he's a momma's boy. Good luck - and remember he'll get over it.

Answer 2

It's hard to feel motivated to give of your time for someone who doesn't treat you right.  It'll probably not prevent him from being mad, but I'd just tell him that you'll treat as a mother the one who treats you like a daughter.

Answer 3

Yes, it is very wrong because he knows that you don't like his mom but you like his step mom.  No man wants to know that his mom is not like by his own wife.  He also thinks that you have your daughter thinking the same thing.  You need to go to him a apologize for your actions and fix this mess you have made.

Answer 4

He is just hurt because you seem to love his step-mother more than  his real mother and he is being protective of her feelings.  I don't blame him.  You shouldn't be showing favoritism.  You shouldn't be baking a cake for his step-mom if you didn't do it for his mom.  You are being disrespectful to your husband.

Answer 5

Yes that's normal, that he wants you to have a close connection with his biological mother. It doesn't mean as much if your so close with his step mom. It's okay if you want to do nice things for his step moms birthday that's very nice of you. But you should have at least made his mom some brownies or a cake too. No matter how much you don't like her. It's is his mother, and maybe think of it as the other way around. Maybe you won't see it right (bc maybe you don't have a step mother or what not.) But your real mother means alot to you, probably a little bit more then the step. So it would be important for you to show some willingness to wanting a relationship with his mother. (EVEN if you really don't.)

Answer 6

RILEY IS RIGHT NOT GET MAD IT HER !!!!!

Answer 7

nope ignore  the butt.

Answer 8

You are playing favourites, which is something you should avoid concerning relations. You mention having a daughter but not if you have other kids as well. If you do have other children or did, then do you think it okay to do something special for one of them for an occasion but totally neglect another child for a similar occasion? Well, that's what you are doing concerning his mother. With friends you can pick and choose what you might do for one that you wouldn't for another concerning special occasions, with relations you shouldn't.

ADDITIONAL: If you were speaking of doing everyday things with your step mother-in-law but not with your mother-in-law, such as window shopping or grabbing a bite to eat, then that would be different. Doing that with one and not the other is fine. But here you aren't. You're talking about a birthday, which is a special day, and baking a cake for it, which is a special gesture. This is why it is wrong. And as another poster pointed out, having your daughter do this with you enforces upon her that treating people in this manner is okay.

Answer 9

Well if you see her closer to her than his real mum then its understandablee, but also cant be nice for him if people don't like his real mum, cus deep down we want people to like our real family. Explain that you see her as a friend also and this is how you treat your friends

Answer 10

Ha, I totally agree with you. You are not wrong, how are you going to bake/cook something for someone that you do not like. You know!!?! There must be a reason behind this and whatever it is I am sure that it is a good one. So don't feel bad and follow your heart.

Answer 11

I'd say what you're doing is fine.

Answer 12

You don't have to do anything for people you don't like. He's lucky you even put up with her.  

Answer 13

If he doesn't already understand your feelings, then explain them to him.  Then suggest that maybe HE could do something to celebrate these important people, too.

Answer 14

no ur not wrong. h**l get over it. he is just mad because u didn't treat his biological mom special too.

Answer 15

Awww.

I have the a similar problem.. My mother in law hates me!

I think your hubby is over reacting a lil.

He should be happy that you are doing something for his step mum.. and he should understand that you dont get along with his mum.

Your not wrong

Ask him this... If he didnt get along with your father would he still go and spend the day with him and do his favourite things with him??

I'm sure the answer would be no.

Also why should you bake a cake to make him happy? He can do it himself.

BUT

If you wana keep the peace why dont you bake her a cake BUT tell him to give it to her if your uncomfortable giving it to her.. plus it means he helped out.

Answer 16

Does not matter which one you like the most or dis-like the least. It is out of respect for your husband.  Keep the peace. You can have your cake and eat it too !!!!!!!!. I am confident you can suck it up and throw a little kindness in her direction, one day a year.