What is my sister issue ? please respond . i need to know ?

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What is my sister issue ? worth reading ?

I married my sister best friend 5 years ago . she has never really approved of our relationship .especially at the beginning she and her fiance were so upset by it and when we decided to get married she was even more pissed but she finally came down after our first child . she started coming around more more but her fiance is still the same. he still hates my hubby as day one. Frankly i dont care about what her hubby thinks but we decided to keep a somewhat relationship for our kids . she has a daughter as well . but lately everyhting seems to be going downhill . when we found out i was prego with baby number2 we've moved to a bigger house and 3 months ago my hubby 's car got totalled and he went and got a Mercedes as his new car . 3 weeks after we all met at a party and they were driving a Jaguar and a week after they moved to better house too . one of our friend at the barbecue who knows our situation from day one made a comment and said the competition is tight . mu hubby said who is competing with who? and they all pretend to laugh. 2 nights ago she called me and asked me if i am ever planning to go back to school . i told her school is great but not in my plans right now (PS . she doesnt know about my current pregnancy yet) and she started making comments like " oh is it because hubby got lucky and found his way up there in that company without a degree that you think a degree isnt valuable .?" that went right to my nerves and hit it . i responded what does that supposed to mean and she said because at least he should telling you to go back to school now .it is been 14 months that you had the baby ? it pissed me off . and i told her i will call her later and it is been 2 days now and i havent call her . what is her issue .? is it jealousy cause i married a better guy than her fiance? is it because i am the younger one ? she has always been the favourite and the spoiled one of the family ? what the heck is wrong with her ? should i tell her i am currenlty prego so she would leave me alone . ( the first time i told her about us having a baby she went ballistic, even my mom thinks i shouldnt tell either her or my dad until they can see it for themselves) what can i do so she will stop making those comments about my hubby they used to be best friend for god sakes .(they both swear nothing ever happened between them) so why is she so mad i married him ? everyone knows she changed since she got with her fiance cause he is the selfish one . help me do something before i break whatever we have left as relationship.

Answer 1

Your sister sounds like she's very competitive. Try not to lower yourself to her level.

I can't tell you why she's this way without knowing both of you personally, but it sounds to me like she has never grown up and is still trying to foster the proverbial sibling rivalry with you.

You sound like you are getting on with your life as an adult. Unfortunately when the people you are closest to continue to treat you like they did when you were a child, you tend to slip back into that mode and then they suck you in.

It will be hard, but don't let her. If you feel close enough to her, invite her to lunch or out for coffee, shopping whatever and tell her how hurt you are by her behavior. Let her know exactly how you feel, sister to sister, no husbands involved.

If you don't feel that close to her, then I would just suggest limiting your contact with her, but don't avoid her. Call her on a regular basis, but when she starts to get toxic, make an excuse and leave/get off the phone, change the subject, or flat out tell her you're not going to listen to her criticism and if she doesn't have anything pleasant to say then you're going to leave/hang up.

I would advise against waiting to tell her you're pregnant. If everyone in the family knows and she finds out they were told before her it will give her more ammunition for later squabbles.  

Answer 2

what i get out of this is she was in love with your husband and that is her deal she wants what  you have. just stop telling her whats going on in your life  

Answer 3

it sounds like she wants what you have, maybe even your husband, and even her husband knows it too hence the animosity from him. it seems as though she is trying to top you and trying to bring you down to her miserable level. dont let her win, sister or not never let anyone take away from your happiness. what goes on between you and your husband is none of her business she doesnt need to know your living siutation, i.e. how he's doing in work or whether you're going back to school, about your pregnancy, its your life not hers and i wouldnt want such a negative individual anywhere near me.

you can try sitting down and trying to talk things out with her face to face because obviously something is wrong on her end but if she is unwilling to work on it or fix her hateful attitude then wish her the best of luck in life and maybe somewhere down the road you can rekindle a civil relationship with your sister. but until you two can figure out what the problem is its probably best to just seperate yourself from her.

Answer 4

Shes jealous that you married him.

Answer 5

i think you should get into some volunteer work and also stop talking to your sister.

Answer 6

sounds like jealousy. plain and simple. she could have had him and now you have him and its great for you. just jealously. i have had friendships ruined because of people not getting over their personal problems if she doesn't get over it id say its her loss because then she wouldn't even get to be jealous anymore and actually have to concentrate on her life.  

Answer 7

She may be jealous.  Do you have more material things than she does?  I would break this relationship off because of the tension in it.  Eventually, she will come back to you, and if she doesn't, it won't be any love lost.  

Answer 8

break it off....you dont need the extra baggage and bad feelings....forget em and go on with it.....

Answer 9

I think the problem is twofold, Hon

1) you sister is still angry that you took away her best friend

2) her husband is a very envious, competitive guy when it comes to your husband.

Now I'll explain each one

Your sister had a male best friend and altho their relationship wasn't a romantic one, she considered her self the most important female in his eyes(aside from his mother) until you became The Woman in his life by virtue of love & marriage...it knocked her of her imagined perch. hence the disapproval & jealously.

Now the fiance....underneath I think he feels his fiancee has romantic feelings for her best friend and he is jealous of that, whether it's true or not,and he is envious of your husband sucess and is probably mentally comparing himself to your husband and falling short...hence the competition on his part-it's an extension of the envy he feels.

..and I bet when they get into arguements, her feelings for you hubby are thrown up in her face, and your hubby's sucess is thrown into his. I can guarentee that because they are imature, the both of them. It just adds fuel to their fire.

I personally think it's a mistake to keep the pregnancy quiet until you can't keep it quiet anymore, after all what will that acomplish? One way or the other it's gonna come out and it's not really buying you any peace for a time because your sister will grouse at you for any reason anyway, quite frankly why should she care if you return to school or not, that I don't get but I'll go into that later.....

You should not call her. Let her call you in fact at this time I think you should not make that much of an effort to contact her.

Announce the pregnancy...you are an adult & a married woman with a good husband who can and is obviously making a good living, so why should anyone care about a second baby, especially since you can obviously take care of a second baby. None of your sister's, father's, or anyone else's business how many children you choose to have.

Mom should read baby girl the riot act. Now I believe that adult siblings need to work out problems among themselves after all they can only learn to get along and respect each other by doing it themselves however, if the behavior is over the line then a parent needs to say ' Pull that stick out of your @ss and knock it off-NOW! You're an adult-so act like one.'

As far as college...see if you can start back on a limited basis...take one class a semester..let Hubby mind the little one if you do. It'll put you one class closer to your goal. After the new baby is old enough, go back part-time. It will take longer but this way you can have your home life, the babies & hubby have their mommy/wife, and you get your degree. And if you don't want to, so what? Okay, it's not for anyone to say if you should or shouldn't, your life Hon, right?

Now a question.....why does your sister want you back at college? Is it concern for your caeer, just another chance to grouse at you if you don't, or does she se it as a way to either free up time she can spend with your hubby with you not around, or does she view it as a chance to strain and eventually break up you marriage..I can't say.

When sis starts up with you a simple, "It's my business and none of yours, change the subject or this conversation is over"...and refuse to discuss the important choices in your life with her...stick with the trivia.......she can't carry on over things she doesn't know about, right? She can't argue with someone who refuses to argue.

Either way watch your back....something about this makes me not trust the girl It's sibling rivalry gone amuck on her part because your sucess in life doesn't make her the only 'golden girl'....., in her eyes you have it better than her and it's eating at her...pure immaturity on her part....good luck.

Answer 10

I think she is jealous of you and it really crazy because that suppose to be your sister and she should be happy for you since you and your husband is doing well.  And you would think that your husband and sister would have gotten close because now they both have you.  Your sister probably always liked your husband but never said anything to him about it.  And now that he married you if she ever thought that she had a chance with him is now over.  And plus her husband is probably not doing as much for her and yours is doing for you.  It's sad because she shouldn't act that way.  May she feel like you change since you moved up it the world meaning new house, car, family.  If you still your self then i would give her some space because it can get really ugly and you don't want to be upset while you are pregnant.  Or you can just give her a piece of your mind and tell her that you don't like the way she comes at you with nonsense thing.  And maybe she'll respond and you can figure out what going on and why she's acting that way but it is jealous all the way.

Answer 11

sounds to me like she had stronger feelings for your hubby than she led on.  Now she is jealous that you married him and have a good life. Let her act like a baby ...you be the grown up and just live your life and be a good mom and wife.

Answer 12

She might not be happy with the decisions that she has made with her life.  Due to the fact that your sister sounds spoiled she might just be jealous of your happiness.  You should wait to tell her about your pregnancy.  You deserve to be happy and your sister is trying her hardest to upset you in every way that it's possible.   Just go with the flow and let her vent and she ignore the comments that she makes about you and your husband.  

Answer 13

You need to stay away from her! Shes family but who needs drama?