What is one thing that you wish your parents never did and that you plan never on doing with your own kids?

Question

For me, it would be that I hated how my parents always criticized me for every little thing. It was like nothing I ever did was good enough. I'd get straight A's, and they'd still say things like 'oh you got all As barely' or some other snide remark to put me down. So, personally, I plan on trying to give my future kids respect and try to lift them up instead of always trying to put them down.

How about you guys? What do you plan on doing different with your kids?

Answer 1

It was the same thing for me.  Nothing I ever did was good enough.  My siblings always were better. I think that's what drove my life for so long, know what I mean?  Trying to do something bigger just so someone could say well done.  (not complaining about that, because I, years later, am very proud of me)  I try now to be fair to each of my children.  And if they want to participate in something like sports, or whatever, no matter what I'm doing, I try to show interest in some way.  That could be by being there, or if I can't be there, helping out in whatever way that I can.  

Answer 2

My parents, from the time I was very small let me basically watch anything I wanted-be it movies or on television. I was exposed to all sorts of disgusting, violent, profane stuff and I KNOW that had a HUGELY negative impact on me...

My kids aren't in a bubble. They are allowed to watch all the popular Pixar type movies and things but we don't even have television. Just a tv with a DVD/VCR so we can watch videos/movies that we choose with no risk of what they could accidently see be it a show or commercial...

Add: I always won't be like my "father". He was allowed to do all sorts of things because he was an adult. "Do as I say,  not as I do"... I try very very hard to live a life that I want my kids to immitate, not be a hypocrite expecting my children to live a way I can't even live up to...

Answer 3

When they punished me they sometimes refused to tell me what I did wrong.  I had no idea what it was.  

I always let my kids know why they are being punished.

Answer 4

I am with you on that one. my dad was that way more than my mom. I would do this this this and even this right but the one thing I did wrong it was like the end of the world and instead of helping me he would yell about how I should no better and I would often be grounded because of it. I will never bring my daughter down she will get nothing but support and love from me.

Answer 5

My mom was a SAHM and I'm not.  One down.  As a mom, she was more into cleaning the house, doing laundry and being a housewife, more than playing with and spending time with us kids.  The only time we really did anything fun was our annual summer vacation.  After that it was no special outings.  I make it a priority to take my kids places fun and do fun things during the summer.  Maybe we didn't have much money then, but she saved all year for the summer vacation?  That could be it, but I'll never know.

My mom always critized me.  She thought I was too shy to do anything.  One time, my dad came home from work and told us something about someone he knew was doing a commercial or something and that we could try out for it.  I was all excited about it and wanted to do it.  My mom said, Oh no you can't do that, you're too shy.  That completely crushed me. I want to cry right now thinking about it, because when you know you are shy, but then get excited about doing something out of your comfort zone, and then someone tells you that you can't do it.  I'll never do that to my kids.  I was a shy kid and when people say a completely innocent comment about how my daughter is being shy, I get really defensive about it.

I could never talk to my mom about anything.  I was always scared to death to even ask if I could spend the night at a friends house.  I'm completely open with my daughter and I'm her friend as well as her mom too.  I feel great when my daughter just out of the blue tells me something that happened to her that day.  Something I NEVER did with my mom. I was very to myself as a kid.  My mom was so crabby all the time.  If I get that way and catch myself, I'll take a breather in the bathroom or something, or go outside and garden for 20 minutes.  It takes the stress away and re-charges me so I can come back as nice mommy.

Answer 6

My mom was an alcoholic and was never really there for us except when she was so drunk I couldn't stand to see her...when she wasn't drunk she was fine...I always said if I had kids I would never drink alcohol and you know what I never have since I had my first kid and I am always there for them for the little things my mom was never there for me for(first day of school, field trips etc)  

Answer 7

I plan on not having kids.  How's that for a difference?

Answer 8

My parents thought church was more important than family. They would leave me home alone with my sister (I was 6 she was 4) and they'd go to church EVERY single night of the week (pretty pathetic) I never knew my parents when I was younger and when I became a teenager they tried to get to know me finally and it was just awkward. I would be close with my kids and spend every waking moment with them =)

Answer 9

I'm not going to suffocate my newborn babies in a small clothes drawer, like my mom did us.

Answer 10

I could answer ditto to the criticism. All in all, our parents did the best they could, just as we will. We learned from the mistakes of our parents, just as our kids will learn from our mistakes.

I plan on loving my kids, paying attention, and giving them all the positivity in the world!

:)

Answer 11

I was also put down growing up.  I was never good enough.  I WILL NOT do that to my children.  Also, I was forced to go hungry because they thought I'd get fat.  I remember gaining a couple of pounds once when I was about nine and wasn't allowed to have supper for three nights in a row.  I will never do that to my children either.