What is peoples problem that my son has a toy doll ??

Question

He chose it himself at the store, and he's quite attached to it (he's 5 and has had it since he was 2), I didn't want to say to my child "you're a boy so you must be a certain way, because society says so, so you can't have that doll" , know what I mean?

I've never been one for givng into stereotypes of how people should be, and my wife and I agreed not to impose gender stereotypes onto our kids (my daughter is obsessed with dinosaurs at the minute which ignorant people find really odd too).

Why do people have to be so narrowminded? One lady I know said "you may not be getting any grandchildren out of that one" (meaning he is going to turn out g*y, which is a stupid assumption, though I wouldn't be bothered if he was g*y)

It really gets on my nerves, what's the big deal??? I'd rather he be happy than anything else and if this toy is a comfort to him then I wish other people would grow up and stop judging.

peace

Answer 1

I'm the same way with my son, who will be two on Sept. 3. He likes to have "pretty toes" (toenails painted) and his toy cars too. I don't see the problem in it. He was born male and he will die that way; no preferences for toys or clothing will change that. If he's g*y, so be it, but I agree that none of it means he will swing one way or the other.

If people are hung up on gender identity and fulfilling stereotypes of what it means to be a macho man or a girly girl, then so be it. That's their problem.

Answer 2

What happens when he wants a skirt. Do you go against society????

Answer 3

Maybe if you and other parents were to say this more often, then gender stereotyping would be a thing of the past. I am all for a child enjoying what ever it is that makes them happy, and if your boy likes his doll, well A-1 for him. You can really instill some excellent life lessons in him at an early age, such as empathy and nurturing, and this will definately show when he is a parent himself. And as far as your daughter liking dinosaurs, well that is great too. More girls need to be shown that they are just as capable of acheiving goals in a world geared toward men, and this is great that you allow her this. I think you guys are awesome parents and those who have problems with what you allow need to find a way to make it to 2008 and leave the '50's stereotypes behind!!!

Answer 4

I never played with dolls, tea sets, or anything girly when I was younger.  Instead I played sports and video games.  I actually beat some boys up when I was younger because they'd pick on me for doing so.  Girls would pick on me too and I used to just punch or kick them once and they'd stop.  My mother would tell me that I should act more like a girl, but I just did whatever I wanted.  Anyways, despite all of this, today I'm straight 23 year old woman.  

These stupid societal gender roles don't matter.  Just because your son plays with dolls, it doesn't mean he will turn out to be g*y.  Things can go either way and if you are a good father you will simply accept your children for who they are or turn out to be.  

In my opinion, I think you are actually doing the right thing by not stopping your son from playing with dolls because if you prevent children from doing certain things, they are going to want to do it more.  You should guide your kid morally and try to turn him into a good person, but allow him to figure out who he is and just accept him no matter what.

People who say that your kid is g*y because he plays with a doll are narrow minded and you should just ignore them.  People are always going to say things and pass off their opinions on things that don't concern them at all.  Don't let it bother you.

Answer 5

I wuldn't worry too much about it, I know a guy who's 35 and he still plays with dolls......... Admittedly they're inflatable, but the principle's the same  LOL

Answer 6

My younger brother used to wear a small silk dress (only when he was playing) it was like his blanket. It was a phase that he grew out of when he got to about six. I never thought anything of it and I'm his older brother!

I remember the once that my mother bought a birthday present for a friends child. It was a birthday present and a Barbie doll but my brother wanted it. So he got it. I think his phase of these dolls (and he had three or four) came from Buffy the vampire slayer of which he was obsessed.

I have never really thought of it in a particular way. No one has to be the same and there are a lot of people in this world so they are bound to be different likes and dislikes.

People that are narrow minded make things like this play on your mind and to be honest you shouldn't listen to them. My brother is now 15 and I can honestly say he is straight.

Not every child is the same.

Answer 7

If thats what your son want then there is no problem buying it for him, stuff what others think or say.

My son want a dolls house with little figures for christmas and he is getting a dolls house, infact i have already bought him his dolls house, a lovely blue and red one and i cant wait to give it to him.



I actualy asked on here weeks ago if anyone knew where i could get a dolls house for a boy (in other words not pink) and the abuse i got back about how i should be buying him cars and a garage was unbelievable.

When i was growing up there was a little boy living next door and all he wanted was a hoover to help his mum and a buggy with a doll in it, his mum bought him all those things and he was pushing a buggy around the street, a few people commented but he loved it, he grew up fine, he didnt need cars and garages to make him a man.

He is only young, if he wants cars and a garage or a tool set then i am sure he will ask for it, but in the mean time if he is happy with his doll then thats all that matters, if anyone has a problem then thats there problem.

Answer 8

You should continue letting him choose his own toys. My main interests as a kid were dinosaurs,solar system and video games,and still are i guess, im a straight female and feminine in appearance and i love fashion and other "girly" things, I dont give into to what people expect me to be.  

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with that, an action man is a doll! If he had a sister he would play with her dolls and she would play with his cars, when children have their 18month check-up like girls, boys are also given a teaset to check their eye/hand co-ordination when they put the cup onto the saucer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your son!

Answer 10

Totally agree with you.  Why do people make ridiculous judgements?  Especially to kids.  He is just exploring now.   leave him alone to enjoy it.

Answer 11

I agree with you! There IS nothing wrong with it at all, if he likes the doll, he likes it. Simple. And if people can't deal with that simply because they stereotype everything, well s***w them. Your son has his own interests and thats a good thing. SOCIETY is what is wrong, not your son's choice of toy. Also, what is that ladies problem even if he would be g*y? There isn't a thing wrong with that either. Again, SOCIETY is what is wrong. s***w her. Also, that has got nothing to do with if he will be g*y or not! He is 5 years old....he wouldn't know what g*y even is! It is just a toy that he likes, SOCIETY NEEDS TO GROW UP AND GET OVER IT. He likes what he likes, a doll that may be and people are super immature when it comes to things like that. STUFF THEM.

x*x

Answer 12

my son had a pink and red blanket which he called "bummy" weird it was but hey hes 11 and although he has moved on the blanket still lives in his sock draw, when the time comes he will find another means of comfort i would worry at all..

Answer 13

these days people should just open their minds, its up to your son if he wants a doll it its fine, when i was young i hated all girly toys and played with toys you would normally see a boy play with (I'm a girl), its a very stupid judgement from that lady who hinted he was probably g*y...

peace

Answer 14

i don't get why people make a bid deal out of toys. I played with GI Joes and cars all the time with my brother growing up. we would have wars between my Barbies and his action figures. they are children. Toys don't make a person g*y. If that were the case, i would have turned out  g*y/ or I guess L*****n to be correct. Let them play with what they want.