What is proper etiquette when guests come in town?

Question

I live in Hollywood, Los Angeles and I have a lot of guests come in town. Sometimes every other week. What is the proper etiquette on this?

It takes 3 hours to go to and from airport (due to L.A. traffic)

Food, do I have to supply everyones food, cook, and clean after.

Cleaning, I feel that I have to constantly clean up after everyone.

They all need fresh linens, towels, etc. and then the constant cleaning.

It is driving me insane. I feel like a d**n maid, etc.

My bestfriend is in town now for 2-3weeks, my dad's bestfriend is going to visit and does not want to stay at my dad's because my dad is a slob so he wants to stay at my house next week, and then my mother (who I will do anything for) is coming in two weeks??????

Who is familiar with out of town guests and how to properly deal with them?

Answer 1

I'm sure you probably feel like your house is a bed and breakfast, not your home.. but if you offer them a place to stay, you should pick them up and supply the food and clean. It's hard work, yes.. but if you offer, that is what you put yourself up to. If you don't want people to stay, then you should not offer. Wait untill they ask to stay, but if they expect it.. thats a different story. You might want to sit down with your bestfriend and tell her your situation, I'm sure she doesn't expect the house to be clean 24/7, you guys should get out and do stuff so it'd be less of a mess, eat out to dinner or spend the day at the beach. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Set down a rule. From now on tell everyone intending to stay at your place that you can't have them over anymore. Tell them that you can't handle so many guests coming so frequently. Tell them to go to hotels.

Don't worry about offending them. It's you you have to protect.

Answer 3

These are my rules:

If the airport is more than 30 min away, I ask them to take a bus or airport shuttle to somewhere close to my house and pick them up from there. (mother would be an exception)

For three days, they get full service with cleaning and cooking, after that they need to help out. Really, they should offer, but if not it is fine to ask them, can you take care of the dishes while I put the leftovers away? Or here is your towel and this is where I keep the laundry supplies...

Answer 4

i´d be very open and clear about rules..2-3 weeks is a long time!

firts tell them sorry take a bus or cab to your place.i know the traffic there.plus the heat and gas.save the trips 4 ur mom.

as guests they should also feel like pitching in cleaning.so tell them please tidy up before leaving the house since you hate a messy home.if you were not tidy before tell them you have changed!

show them the washing machine and tell them ,i guess you will be needing cleans sheets in a week,so drop them here.i honestly think that unless they do loads and loads -i do not see why they would-sharing soap will not kill you...but if they over do it say:pls. pitch in for the soap-softener."x" will do...i´ll run to the store after work so could i get it now?

as for juice and food,same thing.just have 2 cans of their fav drink,after all you do have to be gracisous...and then just say,why don´t you make a list of what you need from the supermarket and we can go get it,you know?like the cereal you live,special coffee,your beer-or bottle of vodka and soft drinks...i mean having a place there to crash is great but let´s not take advantage of you and leech!tell them how you feel with everyone visiting...also set rules.please no noise after 11pm since u need your slpeep.or please do not make your smoothie at 5 am before you go jogging since you need your rest....i think you get the picture.good luck!

Answer 5

I too live near a heavily vacationed spot and have a lot of out of towners.  There are 2 hostess style options to choose from:

1.  You can be the type of hostess you already are and be their full time tour guide, chaffeur, housekeeper.  Obviously that is a lot of work.

2.  You can be non-challant (sp?) and let them stay with you kind of on a come and go as you please basis.  But that makes you feel like a hotel.  

SO, my advice is to only let people who you are really close to stay with you.  IE, only people who are coming to LA to see you to begin with.  Then you won't mind pickin up after them (or being blunt about the ground rules so they know to do it themselves..

Answer 6

While it is hard work, what you have been doing is considered the "proper" etiquette, although it is a lot of work.  I completely understand how it feels.

My advice:

-If you're guests understand how much work you do and how busy you are with guests, they will (or should) understand if everything isn't perfect 24/7.  Don't feel like you have to be Superman (Supermaid?) all the time :D

-Your family knows you best, so it may be more comfortable to talk to them and have them help you out.

-Do you have kids? Perfect helpers!!

-Maybe get a pro maid or take them out to eat if you can afford

Good luck!!

Answer 7

Keep a tray of sandwich ingredients that can easily by put out and away.  But don't actually make the sandwiches, just make it available.

Keep a breakfast tray as well with yogurts and fresh fruit and English muffins, jelly, etc.  Again, put it out, don't serve.

Stop providing airport transportation.

A free place to stay in LA complete with maid service should get you taken out to dinner and you should say so.

The dad's friend thing is weird and you need to learn to say no.

Answer 8

I feel so sorry for you! The problem is not with you it is

with your guests. They need to be reminded that you are

not running a free resort service. I will give you my best

advice but I don't know if you will take it. First off I would

not be going to pick people up or drop them off at the

airport. I would take them to the nearest bus stop or offer to order the shuttle for them I am not sure what is available in your area but you know what I mean. If they say while why

aren't you picking me up tell them a/ sometime is wrong with your car and you are a bit worried it might not make the trip or be frank and say with the gas prices the way they are I can't afford it or I am trying to 'go green' and stop using my car so much. There is a saying that people can only take

advantage of you if you let them. So with regard to the food situation. Don't have any in the house except the bare

minimum ie coffee/tea/milk/sugar/ bread for toast etc.  Tell them that you don't have time to shop and suggest some nice restaurants in the area. When dinner time comes around hand them some home delivery menus from pizza/Chinese joints and tell them which ones are the best. I would not

be cleaning up after people. If they want the house clean tell them to do it themselves. The washing machine and dryer

are there tell them they can do their own laundry you don't have time to do it. When I go to someone's house to stay

(and I am going next week!) I bring a 'hostess' gift like a nice bottle of wine or a fruit/snack basket or something for the house that I think she would like. I do not let them wait on me especially if they are working! I do help with housework. I prepare meals or I take my host out for meals. I would not

consider be waiting on. The idea is that you are to try and make less work for your host rather than more. When I leave and get home I send flowers and a thank you card. This is

my best friend I am going to visit.  Now a lot of this stuff you may not want to do with your Mum or whatever. Certainly you can be more blunt with your best friend. I think it is a lot of

gall for your father's friend to park himself on your doorstep because your father is a slob. Next time offer to book a motel for him. The more these people can get away with using you

the more they will. I am sorry this is so long but I just hate to see someone used!!!