What is so wrong with being a stay at home mom?

Question

I don't want any "As long as it makes you happy" answers. I want to nitty gritty truth of why you think it is not satisfying enough to raise kids and clean the house.

Answer 1

Nothing, but unfortunately we live in a work-obsessed society where people imagine that unless you are in some form of paid employment you are wasting your life.

Looking after children is only an acceptable way to spend your time if you are paid for it because then, you see, it is a JOB, and if you have a JOB that means you are doing something MEANINGFULL.  Staying at home with your children is not MEANINGFUL, but being a wage slave is.

People who talk about what a terrible thing it was when most mothers stayed at home with their children, seem to be unaware that mothers who actually had to work and were able to give it up and stay at home used to consider themselves fortunate.  It was what Florence King describes as the "melancholy seal barks of Betty Friedan"  that got women convinced that being at home was a waste of time, and that being in the workplace was the only way to fulfill themselves.

What Betty Friedan & co actually had in mind when they urged women to rush back to work was that everyone would be in high-powered, exciting careers.  They conveniently overlooked the fact that many of the jobs that people do are not particularly interesting, and that being at home with the kids may actually be agood deal more agreeable than many of the forms of paid employment that people engage in.

I think your own satisfaction will have to be your own reward, convincing anyone else that what you do might be satisfying is pretty well a waste of time, everyone is work-obsessed nowadays, and the idea that there could be any value in being at home is simply incomprehensible to most people.  They want to be wage-slaves, and they see no meaning in any other kind of life.

Answer 2

You're just looking for an argument. You are looking for someone to persecute you. Anyway, this is my answer, whether you like it or not:

As long as it makes you and your family happy, there is nothing wrong with it FOR YOU. I don't sit around steaming over how other people lead their lives when it doesn't affect me. But for me, I could never be a SAHM seeing as I don't want kids at all. As for staying home and cleaning: it takes me a grand total of an hour and half every 5 or so days to give my home a good scrub down. What am I going to do with the rest of the 38 1/2 working hours in a week? You might be able to find something to make you happy during all those hours in a week that does not require payed work outside of the home, but I would not.

Answer 3

Nothing wrong with being a SAHM.  Raising kids is very rewarding.  As for me, cleaning the house - I would rather work an hour and pay someone else..  The house doesn't love you back...BUT, my mother gets a huge amount of her self-esteem from keeping a clean house - herself.  Some people really enjoy cleaning, like one of my friends.  

I guess staying with kids might drive some people nuts, but I love them.

Cooking can be a lot of fun.

Now, legally.  In the US.  If you get divorced before you have been married for ten years you have no right to any of your husband's Social Security, even though joint marital funds paid for that SS.  If you made your husband pay you and pay in FICA for you, you would be better off in case you ever get divorced.  50% of that $$ that pays for his FICA is yours, yet where is your retirement fund?  I got divorced after 9 years, ala Nicole Kidman, right before the cut-off date.  Just a dose of reality.  It takes almost twice as long at a later date to put the same amount of funds away for your own retirement.  I know - nobody thinks they will get a divorce...Neither did any of my clients.

Answer 4

Well I just think it would be taking advantage of the husband.

       Putting too much pressure on him. If something sour goes down at his job he can't quit, can't switch career's.

     It is identical to slavery.

       Plus the stay at home mom's these day's still expect the bread winner to do half the cleaning/child care and stuff still and they don't contribute a dime towards retirement but still expect there "fair" share.. It is highway robbery.

+ when they do re-enter the work force alot of them get this mentality that they still don't have to help with any bill's and stuff. All in all a bad deal for the husband.

Answer 5

Absolutely nothing; only in this case I believe the feminists should be answering so I will leave it up to them.  Many of them have the biggest gripe with it.