What is something quick I can say to friends/family who tell me I "need to get out " more?

Question

I am 43. I feel I have achieved a lot at my age. I have played most kinds of sports, studied classical ballet for 9 years, ballroom dancing for 2, go to the gym, am tertiary qualified not to mention on and off part time study for the last 20 years. Had a successful career as a designer after working really hard and long hours, then switched to study fulltime business management and became a PA, travelled the world on my own a few times for extended lengths of time including working overseas, bought and sold 2 properties, and am a profient cook, painter, reformed party animal and self confessed computer nerd. Basically for me I am happy that I have achieved everything I set out to do from the age of 20. I now work from home as a designer and help my partner with the admin side of his business. I am also writing a book. I met my partner a few years ago and we are now settled in a lovely house with my cat. Children were never for me. The thing is I am really tired of achieving. I need to rest for a while and take things in my own time. There was a point where everything got too much and I walked out of my design job had a bit of a breakdown. I don't like to overcommitt these days and do things in my own time. I have become a bit of a hermit and this is the problem. My friends and family remember me as the outgoing go getter and they tell me I need to get out more. The thing is that I don't want to. I am so happy to be a homebody with no courses or major deadlines to meet. Financially I am well off which freaks my family and friends out as well. I am not really interested in seeing stuff in the city or around because I feel for now I have been to every great restaurant, bar, park, concert place up and down the coast several times over. I love waking up knowing I can choose my hours for the day of what I do. I am a bit lazy, but feel I have earned it. What can I say to them to accept that this is how I am now? It may change in the future who knows, but I need a one liner I can say to them instead of going into a dull lengthy explanation to justify myself and why I like being a hermit. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Hi...

You have accomplished quite a lot in your mere 43 years, and you are to be commended! Congratulations!  I also had a full life, but nothing like yours...

Seems to me you are still doing things in your life... you are still working as a designer, plus have taken on the responsibility of helping your partner.  It seems like you have a good bit on your plate, even if you claim you are taking it easy and being "lazy" right now... i'd bet dollars to donuts you're not lazy at all!

You deserve to rest and take it easy.  So do it.  

Unfortunately, we can't force people to accept us, but i think acceptance is the key to all types of relationships.  

I have a problem with people who "should" me... no one else knows what i should do...I will be honest and tell you that people would likely get on my nerves after a while, and i might tell them i'm perfectly content and ask them why they don't worry about their own lives.  

Do you really have to rationalize or explain your choices?  I don't!  

Take care of you and enjoy your leisurely life.  

Answer 2

I agree with answer one.

You seem content with your life which is really all that matters.  

Answer 3

R u married? Have kids? Yeah..after all of ur time working so hard, u deserve to lay back n relax.

Just tell them 'i haven't changed a bit. I still like doing stuff in my life. And what i do now is exactly what i want to do' OR 'i always do something "outdoor-ly", now i'm doing things "indoor-ly". Whats the difference? Am i bothering u guys now?' OR 'i've fun working so hard and now i'm having fun with taking my time by being a hermit'

They always happy to see u working hard coz they knew u wanted it. Why cant they see what ure doing now as something that u want too??..so yeah, tell them.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I don't want to.

You manage your life.

I'm happy as I am.

I have a similar story to you, but with grown up kids.

They all realize now that I need me time.

You don;t have to justify anything.

Answer 5

just tell them **** off.

Answer 6

After a late night you sleep in right? I'm still sleeping from my experiences.

:D

Answer 7

Well then tell them, "I did, maybe YOU should and then you'll see where I'm at".

Give yourself some R&R for a while. People like to be nosy. Maybe they think you'll have a mental breakdown or commit suicide or something just as dramatic. But assure them that you're just trying to slow down to a more comfortable pace and they just need to either pass you, ride along side or just get off your tail (boy do I love driving analogies).

You're a big girl, you shouldn't have to justify.