What is the FUNNIEST joke u know?

Question

i am trying new materials

Answer 1

george w. bush.

lol.

Answer 2

where should u never take a dog?

A flee market

Please choose 4 best answer

Answer 3

I have 2

A guy is buying a gift for his girlfriend in celebration of her birthday. He finds a nice vase and buys it for her. He drives home ,and when he gets home, he realizes the the vase broke. he thinks it over, and decides to send it to his girlfriend, and that she'll think that it just broke on the way. He goes to the wrapping store, and asks them to wrap it and send it to her address. The next day, she calls him, and dumps him. He asks "didn't you like the vase?" he asks, sounding innocent. She replies "Yes, it was wrapped lovely - and separately!"

A grade 1 student gets his english test back, and is surprised to see that he got a D- on it. His teacher tells him "You need to improve your vocabulary. For example: instead of saying big, you can say large!"

Then the child comes home, and tells his parents that he can't wait for thaksgiving, which will be in a few days"

At night he can't sleep, so he goes to his parents room, and hears his dad say "wanna mix the b***s and balls?" he asks "daddy what does that mean? his dad replies "oh, that means coats and hats"

The next day he goes to the bathroom, and he hears his dad say sh*t because he cut himself. He asks: daddy, what does that mean? The dad replies "oh, that means shave"

At noon, he hears his dad saying "you b*tches and b*st*rds on the phone. He asks "daddy, daddy, what does that mean? his dad replies "oh, that means ladies and gentleman.

Before the guests arrive, while his mom is cutting the turkey, she cuts her finger and says "f**k!" he asks mommy, what does that mean? His mom answers "oh, that means cut."

When the guests arrive, he answers the door and says this:

"welcome b*tches and b*st*rds! Please hang your b***s and balls. My Dad is Sh*tt*ng his face, and my mom is f**king the turkey!

Answer 4

why do midgets laugh when they run?

cuz the grass tickles their nuts.

Answer 5

This young man comes home from Ranger school, and tells his dad about what they had him do.

"they tried to make me jump out of an air plane !! but i looked out the door and knew there was no way i would do it!!"

"then my drill sargeant came up to me and said if i didn't jump, he was gonna stick his baton up my hind end!!!"

his dad asked him, "did you jump?"

"A little at first!!"

Answer 6

the funniest joke is a person who says i will not die.

Answer 7

A man was having s*x w/a lady n saw a picture on her nightstand. He asked, "Is that your husband?" She replied, "No. That was me 2 years ago."

Answer 8

I saw your avatar,  you are not blonde, so I can tell you this blonde-joke:

One day a blonde, brunette, and redhead go camping. The redhead shows up with a cooler full of sodas. So the blonde says, "Why did you bring drinks?" The redhead says, "So if we get thirsty we have some thing to drink." Then the brunette shows up with a platter full of snacks. Then the blonde asks, "Why did you bring food?" The brunette answers, "So when we get hungry we can eat." So then the blonde goes to the junkyard and brings back a car door. Then both the redhead and brunette ask, "Why did you bring a car door?" Then the blonde answers,"So when we get hot we can roll down a window."

And a Little Johnny joke:



Little Johnny Wants to Get Married.

°°°°°°°°°°°°

One day Little Johnny says to his father:

I want to get married.

Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind?

Johnny: Yes , Gradma.

Father: What? There is a problem now, you want to marry my mother?

Johnny: Why not? You married my mother.

Answer 9

thanks