Question:

What is the Operating Management Test Battery?

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for Union Pacific Railroad, and what type of questions does it consist of?

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  1. The Battery is the 72 volt variety that came out of a retired GP-9.

    There are two leads, one to an "anode", which is grasped in the left hand, and the "cathode" that is grasped in the other.

    The person conducting the interview controls the voltage.  A prospect is judged on his management capabilities by a simple time = brain damage formula, as follows.  If you can hang on for:

    3 seconds................ Normal neurological function.  Unsuitable for management.

    11 seconds.............  Some moderate damage to neural ingrams.  Borderline qualification for MOP (manager of Operating Practices)  Was once called Road Foreman of Engines.

    16 seconds.................  Indicative of drug use when younger.  Slight damage qualifies you for an immediate position as an MTO (Manager of Train Operations)  Was once called Trainsmaster.

    22 seconds................On the fast track to Division Superintendent.

    27 seconds............... Say hello to Omaha.  Next in line for office with a window.

    32 seconds............... You get the interviewers job.

    45 seconds or longer..Guaranteed next open chair on the Board of Directors will have your rump in it.

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