What is the best age spacing for adopting a second child?

Question

Hello, everyone!

We have a 1 year old biological child, and would like to add to our family by adopting. Does anyone have advise on when to do it? Like, how old our first born should be? Or how old of a child we should adopt? Same age? Younger? Infant?? Any tips on how to ease the transition, or minimize sibling rivalry??

Thanks in advance!!

Answer 1

well i would say a lot of an age difference so the kids won't fight as much. But ifyou adopt a child that is 10 then it's gonna be hard to teach them and get them used to how you live. so maybe adopt a really young newborn. Whatever suits you.

Answer 2

you should have them 2 and a 1/2 years apart

Answer 3

Everyone will give you different answers, a year between children is usually long enough to properly bond with them.  An adopted child needs a little more time then a biological child in that he/she will need to get used to you, bond with you a lot more, learn to trust you.  

We plan on spacing our children at least four years apart, for personal reasons, and also so the children do not compete in middle school/high school (ie: when the youngest one is in seventh grader his/her sibling will be in 11th grade, so the teacher won't always be comparing him/her to his/her sibling).  Also, then we won't be paying for two college educations at the same time (or...shouldn't be at least).  The spacing we have chosen will also help our first child understand the adoption more then if he/she were younger, so less sibling rivalry (in my opinion).

I have heard that you are supposed to adopt children in their birth order, so always adopt a younger child.  However I know of families who have successfully adopted children near the same age (and same time) and older children.

Good luck!

I also wanted to add that agencies and countries will put restrictions on when you can adopt after having a child.  China makes you wait one year between bringing your child home and resubmitting your paperwok, another country says that the adopted child has to be the youngest by at least three years.  So, your best bet would be to contact an agencies and see what programs you are eligible for etc.