What is the best joke in the history of jokes?

Question

i want to know what the best joke ever is

Answer 1

I dont know the best joke ever and you can't know it :D

Answer 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sr5HpgV42...

Its so funny it will KILL you.

This is a documentary of it.

Answer 3

Glad you explained. Nobody wouldve ever figured out that you wanted to know what the best joke ever was from "what is the best joke in the history of jokes."  Thanks. Really. My brain was so overloading with all the possibilities of what "what is the best joke in the history of jokes" could possibly mean until I read youre explaination "i want to know what the best joke ever is."  

Answer 4

some1 ask me where u got those shoes from i say i got them on my feet or you can say i got them on the ground

Answer 5

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along." So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.

So one morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half-tuck gainer, this was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

She said, "That was incredible!"

He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along."

So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about thirty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out of breath.

He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"

"No," she said. "I was a hooker in Venice and I worked both sides of the Grand Canal."

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A man named Vinny dies and goes to h**l.

The Devil says to him "Hey Vinny we've been waitin for ya!".

Vinny smiles and walks with the Devil and the Devil says "I gotta ask you a couple questions, do you like to smoke?" Vinny answers "Ya, I love to smoke." The Devil says "Good you'll like Mondays we smoke everything cigarettes, cigars, weed everything."

"Now do you like to drink?" Then Vinny says "Of course I love to drink." The Devil replies "Great we drink everything on Tuesdays you will fit in great."

"Do you like to have s*x?" Vinny says "h**l ya s*x is the best." The Devil smiles and replies "We have s*x with every type of woman you could think of on Wedesdays."

And the Devil finally says "Now, are you g*y?" Vinny frowns and answers "NO I'm not g*y! And the Devil looks down and finishes "Your gonna hate Thursdays."

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The Queen visits a major hospital to open a new ward.

She is shown around first by a nurse so she can inspect the facilities.

On her way, she hears orgasmic groans coming from a nearby room.

She goes to the room to investigate and, upon arriving, finds that a man is masturbating on the bed.

She asks the nurse "Why is that man doing that?"

The nurse replies "Oh, he's got to relieve himself every so often because he has a disorder."

"Oh, OK then," the queen said, and moved on, but on the way she hears more orgasmic groans.

She looks in the room and sees a nurse giving a man a *******.

The queen asks her escort "Why is that nurse giving that man a *******?"

Her nurse escort says "Oh, he's got the same disorder as the man before, only this one's got health insurance!"

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Answer 6

I don't know if this is the best joke ever, but i think its pretty good :P

So a kid comes home from school really sad

"whats wrong honey?" his mother asks

"Then kids at school made fun of me. They said I have a big head," the boy says

"Oh they're probably just jealous of you," his mother says, "Now honey, we're having guest over for dinner. So can you go down to the cellar and get 3 lbs of potatoes?"

"3lbs of potatoes!" the boy says, "What am I supposed to put it all in?"

"Put it in your hat."

BWAHAHAHA

ya, enjoy all the jokes you're gonna be reading :)

Answer 7

wat u call a sheep with no legs????

a cloud

Answer 8

Why did the bear open the door???

to Test His New Key

muhahhahaha

Answer 9

lol I got one:

Jimmy was in bed at home, and it was morning. His mom came up to his room and knocked on his door and said

"Jimmy, it's time to go to school".

Jimmy shouted "I don't wanna go to school!"

So his mom opened the door and said "Give me one good reason why you don't want to go to school."

Jimmy replied " I HATE school! all the students makes fun of me, and all the teachers hates me, I have no friends there. I'm not going to school. Give me one good reason why should I."

And his mom said "Because you're 40 years old and you're the school's principal."

Answer 10

there were 2 muffins in the oven.

one said "woah it's hot in here."

the other said "OMG A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Answer 11

One day a 50 year old man walked to the doctors to get a sperm count.

The doctor gave him a jar and told him to fill it up by tomarrow.

The next day the man walked in a the jar was empty. The doctor asked why isnt the jar filled. The man says " well first i tried with my left hand but nothing worked then i tried with my right hand then nothing worked. so i got my wife to try. she tried both hands and even her mouth. but it still didnt work. so i asked my mom to give it a try she tryed with both hands, mouth and even her feet.

The doctor sais " YOUR MOM TRIED IT!!!!"

The man said " yeah and we still couldnt get the jar open"