What is the best joke you've ever heard?

Question

I'm tired and I want to laugh. I don't care if they're dirty.

Answer 1

i have 2 blonde jokes i like:

a blonde is driving down the road and does something to make a trucker mad (i forget what it was she did) the trucker gets her to pull over then he draws a circle on the ground and  tells her not to move from that spot. then he kicks her car, turns back to look at her and she's laughing! this makes him more mad and he continues to beat the car, but she still laughs! so he asks "what do you find so funny?!" and she says "every time you're not looking... i step out of the circle!"

the second is:

a blonde is speeding and gets pulled over, the cop is also blonde. the officer asks to see her drivers license. "what does it look like?" and the officer say, "well its sqaure and has a picture on it." the blonde searches her purse and finds a sqaure mirror and hands it to the police officer. the officer looks at it then says, "you can go, i didn't realise you were a cop too!"

EDIT:

i thought of one more, its kinda dirty, but i had to add it:

two men are hunting they climb up a huge hill and one man says, "Hey! i can see your house from here! your wife is cheating on you." the second man says, "well, shoot her in the head and him in the privates." his friend replys, "i can get that in one shot!"

Answer 2

FYI -- Sardar is a cliche for Stupidest person you can find on planet in Indian language.

Boss: Where were you born?

sardar : Illinois ..

Boss : which part ?

sardar : What you mean which part ? Whole body born in Illinois.!

Tourist:

Whose skeleton is that?

Santa: Dan's skeleton.

Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?

Santa: That was Dan's skeleton when he was child

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.

Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.

sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?

Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.

Sardar : No way. It starts with Tea?! d**n, My car only starts with gas!

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why

are you removing a wheel from your auto.

sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He

gave

$10 and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.

Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.

Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.

Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

In an interview,

Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?

Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....

Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.

Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?

Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

Banta: U cheated me.

Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.

Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.

Banta: Thank God! I thought it was a new one.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?

Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....

A man to Santa: Let's play chess..

Santa: Hold on, let me get my sports shoes!

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!

Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated...

drank poison & said, bite me now and die!

Answer 3

A football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba, had so many women hanging around that he couldn’t possibly handle all of them. So one day he asked Bubba, “Just what the h**l is your secret?”

Bubba replied, “Well, coach, whenever I’m about to have s*x, I always whip it out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. That numbs it and I can s***w ’em forever!”

The coach went home early that day and went straight to the bedroom. He heard his wife in the shower and, seeing a window of opportunity, tore off his clothes and started banging his p***s on the dresser.

His wife immediately stuck her head out of the shower and said, “Is that you, Bubba?”

Answer 4

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Wheres my tractor?"

Answer 5

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7-8-9.