What is the best method for domestic adoption?

Question

Wife and i new to process and in the beginning stages . . . wanting to hear from people who have done or are doing the same??

Answer 1

Go a different method. With domestic adoptions, the mothers change their minds a lot, and you may end up having her in your life too much. It is also more expensive than international.

Check out Korea, they will even bring the child to the airport for you if your unable to travel. These children are being rescued from orphanages. Look at all the sweet little girl babies that need parents in China. I wish I had the funds, I would definitely go international.

Answer 2

We adopted as foster to adoptive parents who accepted an "adoption only" placement.  

Meaning, even though for the first 6 months we were "technically" foster parents, our children's birth parent's rights were completely terminated and the placement had the full expectation of adoption unless we just ended up all hating each other.

Domestic new born adoption is a very harrowing road indeed.  While I support the rights of good birth families that are truly out there doing what is best for their child...the system can be corrupt and the birth family coerced to place the child when the birth family could have indeed parented given the chance.  

Also, in a domestic newborn adoption, the birth mothers (rightfully so) are given a chance to change their mind after birth...I mean, how CAN you know your true feelings until the baby is born?

That's not good for the adoptive family, however, who have built their hopes and dreams around that unborn child, to only be told "sorry, never mind".

International adoption, if you're looking for infants, is about the best way to go if you want a guarantee of a placement...however, just because the adoption is from a foreign country does not mean that you will be exempt from the problems that any child adopted can go through, such as attachment disorders or any other developmental or behavioral problem.

Fostering to adopt, for newborns, is also risky and sometimes can harbor a VERY long wait...because many families cannot afford the huge adoption fees agencies place on newborns, so seek foster/adopt to adopt a newborn, taking up waiting lists all over the country.

That's not to say it can't happen, I'm just saying you'd be in for a long wait.

Another route to consider is networking yourselves and finding someone privately and having an attorney facilitate a private adoption...keeping in mind the birth mother still has the right to change her mind after the birth (the waiting period varies from state to state)

Answer 3

Foster-to-adopt is the best method.

Answer 4

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nancy_Verri...

Answer 5

With domestic adoption, here are the options:

1.  Foster to adopt through the state.   Many older children, a few toddlers and infants.  Risky in that the child you foster may not become adoptable, but expense is none to very little because taxpayers subsidize the agency through taxes..

2.  Private agency.  Mostly newborn infants.  Lower risk but a lot more expense, because the agency is responsible for all medicals, legals, housing, etc. for birthmother.

3.  Facilitation.  Newborns, mostly.  Illegal in some states.  Risky in that birthmother has no face to face counseling and your fees are at risk if she decides to parent.

I would recommend ABC Adoptions for good adoption info, forums, etc.  Good luck!

Answer 6

I definitely think that adopting from foster care is the absolute best thing to do.  

However, if you insist on adopting and infant, make sure you are working with a non-profit organization.  You can hear bad stories about some of them too, but at least most of them are BETTER than the others.

Answer 7

The best way is to be open and let the birth mother be a part of the child's life as either a friend or as birth mother.  Private adoption is best.  I used private adoption but chose to stay in the distance while she grew up.  She and her parents have welcomed me and my family into their home and we are part of her life now.  When she went through the who am I stage, I didn't get involved, but I did send her pictures of grandparents and such.  I know some people let the birth mother stay in touch and involved in the growing up.  Find out if you are one of the rare people who wouldn't mind sharing your adopted child.  Don't be down on yourself if you are not.  Discuss ideas with your spouse and then talk to a lawyer who specializes in adoption or talk with your local agency for helping kids in trouble, usually the welfare department.  Talk to some preachers of local churches as well, sometimes they know of a young girl who needs to find a good family for a child.  Hope this helps

Answer 8

Domest is safer then International in many ways.  The chances are better that the child has had healthcare and medical problems are disclosed ahead of time.  International is more risky in that you can't be sure about the child's health, how the child was acquired by the orphanage, or any background info on the birth family.  Also, you must pay your own travel costs and generally traveling within the US is cheaper then going overseas.  Either way there are a lot of children in need of safe and loving homes.

Answer 9

My husband and I started our process in September of 2005, homestudy approved April 2006, placement of our daughter May 2007. We went the agency route. With the agency, we were assured that all the t's were crossed and the i's dotted. They handled the paperwork, the counseling, seminars, social workers, etc., etc., even provided a list of attorneys for the finalization, and pediatricians. They also provide an ongoing network of events for their adoptive families.