What is the best parenting book that you have read and why?

Question

My 4yr old is so defiant and nothing works, I'd like to read a good parenting book, anyone have any good ideas?

Answer 1

Everyone is an expert and there are so many books. I suggest you follow your heart and gut. You are the best parent for your child. ( 4 years is a rebellious age remember) so please do what you think best. Also remember to check if he could be tired or hungry when he is defiant since those are the usual reasons. Also, remember a warm bath solves a lot of behavior issues

Answer 2

I love "How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, and "Love and Logic" by Foster W.Cline.  Both emphasize gentle techniques that work to increase cooperation and understanding with your children.

Every book you read will take a different approach, I'm not sure there is really a "best" book.  You take what you want out of it and leave the rest.  It's always good to read a variety for different perspectives.

Answer 3

"Parenting by the Book" by John Rosemond - and "Dare to Discipline" by James Dobson - both take a simple, no-nonsense approach to parenting - I like that!!

Answer 4

You know what I'm not a real fan of parenting books ( i'm not a parent but have been a professional nanny for 16 years). most of these books are written by condescending know it alls who laughing don't even have children...go figure...

Your son is 4. it's really normal for this age group to act out, he's flexing his independance muscles so to speak, just try to have patience with him.

Most children this age understandable do not like to hear the word "No", but your the parent and sometimes it's going to be in his best interest to hear it, but instead of sounding like a broken record, give him an option maybe...instead of telling him no he may not have the cookie before dinner, But he may have it after dinner if he eats well enough to suit you and your husband. If he wants to continue throwing the ball against the wall give him the option of taking it outside to play with it n the driveway, if he continues you will pop the ball and he will no longer have it...this i will assure will cost you a major tantrum if you have to pop his ball, but he will think twice about it the next time.

So mant parents now a days want to be their childrens friends, their buddies, they forget that what their children need are parents that are going to reinforce the rules no matter how hard that is. If you ground him for a week, then reinforce that punshmnet, parents start to lose control when they don't follow through with their threats....this shows your children that you are a pushover and Mommy won't really follow through, she's  only mouthing off again so to speak to get me to listen...but they won't they will only tune you out.

I'm not an expert and I'm sure you'll get a lot of great information but I hope I was able to help a little, good luck and remember to stand firm with lots of love and they will begin to respect you...

XO

Answer 5

No Cry Sleep Solution  by Elizabeth Pantley - all about how to get your baby to sleep through the night without any horrible cry-it-out nastiness. And Dr Sears is also great.

Answer 6

Honestly parenting books were never my cup of tea simply due to the fact that they make their advice out to be the only thing that will work for all children, which is not true.  I find that discussing parenting issues with other parents who have been in my shoes to be the most helpful way to gain insight and advice.  I do however turn to the Bible when it comes to life lessons and for guidance from God.  But I tend to ask my friends and family, who have had real experience raising children rather than look to ink on paper which doesn't interact and talk with you to help you find out the best possible solution for any issues I may be stuck on.

If you must look to a book, Dr. James Dobson (and no he's not an idiot), Billy Grahm and Ray Fowler all have great books out on parenting.  Also the What to Expect series is wonderful as far as developmental milestones go.  If your 4 year old is defiant, put down the iron fist (so to speak) and show her who is the parent.  Yes they can refuse to sit in time out.  Pretty much all children refuse it.  But we as parents must make sure we follow through and be consistent with it by setting them back in time out until they get the picture.  Set boundaries and enforce them, no exceptions.  Be consistent and be firm, but be loving and have teachable moments with her as well.  Best wishes to you!

Answer 7

Watch Super Nanny for tips and ideas.  I baby sit for 3 little boys, ages 1, 3 and 4.  The Nanny has given a lot of examples and ideas that work.

Answer 8

I would suggest:

Dr. Sears - The Discipline Book - Will help you understand different discipline styles, what works, what doesn't work, so that you can pick something that works for you. I wrote a review of this book if you're interested: http://phdinparenting.wordpress.com/2008...

Lawrence Cohen - Playful Parenting - Suggestions for dealing with situations with kids using play, which is usually less confrontational and more enjoyable for both parent and child.

Alfie Kohn - Unconditional Parenting - Help you understand how to build a relationship built on unconditional love and not unknowingly send the wrong messages to your child, which can then result in poor behaviour.

Answer 9

"the strong-willed child" by James Dobson. We had a very strong willed son, and it helped me step back from the battle-lines and look at the whole situation. Wealso found out he was allergic to milk: no milk, no temper tantrums or fits of rage.

The main solution is consistency.

p.s. He's now 23, earned his B.S. in less than three years, and a very knowledgeable, hard worker.

Answer 10

there is an online program called Parenting Toolbox.  You can join for a small fee, but membership is lifetime and it is a bunch of parents and doctors that help teach parents how to deal with situations with their kids.  then as times change so will the information.

Answer 11

sorry, I havent read any...I have always just talked to my kids, and it seems to work...talk to your pediatrician he or she might have some ideas

Answer 12

Dobson is an idiot...he compares children to animals.

I love "The Discipline book" by Dr. Sears

http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Book-Be...

EDIT: a child can't refuse to sit in time out..you have to continue to put them back until they give up and take the time out. You have to show them YOU will win this battle no matter how long it takes. It lets them know you won't give up if they put up a fight and then once they realize it they stop fighting it.