What is the best way for my (Saudi) boyfriend to tell his parents about us?

Question

i told him about the pregnancy. at first he was shocked and thought i was kidding him but then he calmed down. we talked about abortion a bit but then i dont like doing that. so he now wants to talk to his parents but he says they are pretty strict. i dont know how to help him. Help!!

Answer 1

Well, at least you told him and that is a start. I think you should really think this through because huge responsibilities are coming your way. I take, as you also mentioned, that he wants to go back home after his studies which means that if you two get married, you are going to live in KSA, which is fine but many things will change for you.

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Answer 2

you cant just leave, your carrying his baby..... same thing with my mother.... my dads parents tried to make him leave her but he refused... happily married for 23 years!!!

Answer 3

I'd say you stay out of Saudi and he makes a call to his parents to let them know of your plans. If the goes back to Saudi, they're probably going to blackmail him by bringing religious beliefs in.

Never under any circumstances agree to live with him in Saudi... the first post was spot on!

Answer 4

It Depend on  you both

believe me both of you are  the one who decide to make it a big issue this is his son as well as yours  tell him that, and this will be a big issue if you listen to those ppl before me.

forget about his family and your family, please think about your son.

Saudi Arabia is a bad place if you believe that

Answer 5

Do not marry him. Your in-laws will treat you with suspicion for the rest of your life.

Answer 6

Once he leaves to go back to Saudi.. that will be the end of your relationship... His parents will get ahold of him and talk him out of you..

If he is under 30years old.. He wont be able to get the marriage approved.. He has to be over 30 to marry a foreign women.. and when they find out he has a child out of wedlock.. all h**l will break loose.. This is a strict no no of all sorts in Saudi-Islamic culture.. He will be shamed in this area.. Cause everywhere he goes, people will put two and two together and realize the baby was born prior to the marriage..... I honestly dont see any easy road for you ahead.. Now having said this.. It can be done.. yes.. but you have to be 100% certain cause its going to be hard and long before you ever get permission to go there.. And do you truly want to?.. Are you up for it.. dont have hollywood stars in your eyes about Arabia being like "Ali baba and the 40theives"  hollywood glamourous ideal...

Sure we are a modern country, but its different non the less

You cant drive,, yes you can hop in a taxi and go where you want, but its not like your own car.. Theres the language barrier.. yes a great percentage speaks english, but some dont.. There isnt daycare here for children if you plan on working.. you might have to hire a nanny if you want to go out of the house to work.. and jobs are hard to find for women, we do work. but hard.. You might be expected to live with your inlaws for a few years. Housing is hard to come by here. Life is stricly centered around family.. Expect your inlaws to be in your face 24/7.. .. and no more partying like you did in USA.. you will be living a strict moral life code..

and the heat.. OH the heat.. can you stand 120F summers?

Answer 7

You're gonna have a tough time if you marry him, first his family will have a big problem accepting you as a member.

Second the culture gap between you and him is too big for you to handle, if you come to saudi, soon you will want to go back, I mean I'm an arab and I can't stand the saudi bedwin culture myself!

He won't live all his life in the US, he will go back to Saudi one day, and if you don't want to go back with him, your marriage will end.

The biggest loser in this relation is your son/daughter , he/she  will live in a contradicting world of religions, cultures, language, countries, and in the end there is a big chance that he will live with divided parents.

I hate to tell you this, chances are your love will face so many obstacles, think a lot of what you are up to and take a sound decision.

Forgive me if I'm being pessimistic, some relationships from this type do work, but yet most of them fail.

Answer 8

HAHAHA

Answer 9

There is no good way for him to tell his parents.  They will be very shocked and disappointed.  I'm sure they want him to marry a Saudi.  And when he tells them about the baby...wow, they will be even more shocked!

Did your boyfriend say he wants to marry you?  How do you feel about Islam?  Just to let you know....Islamically, he can't marry you until you have the baby.  And, if you plan to marry him and move to Saudi Arabia, then you have to be a Muslim for the marriage to be approved.  (however, I would hope that that wouldn't be what would make you want to be a Muslim.)

Mintee mentioned that he should be 30 to have the marriage approved.  I think the 'law' is 35 to get it done easily, but my husband was only 24 (i think) when he applied to get our marriage approved, so it's possible to get it done.  Having children helps, but not sure about the out of wedlock part....

Also, like Mintee said, they will do everything they can to convince him to not stay with you.  If he really loves you and is very strong to stand up to his family, then you'll be fine, but it's a possibility that your relationship will be over shortly after he returns to Saudi Arabia.