What is the best way to deal with a family member that hurts your feelings again and again

Question

I'm not sure how much more I can take of it, she says what she thinks no matter who she hurts and even though I'm grown and know how she is and try to ignore it and move on I cant help but be hurt by some of the things she says.

Answer 1

I 2 have delt with a similar situation. I cut off all ties with my sister for several months before she came around. Sometimes tough love is the best love.

Answer 2

people like that you stay away from...i had that happen and i never talked to this person for yrs...have just start speaking to her again with caution...i'm not going to make the same mistake twice...life is too short...tell her how you feel and if it doesn't sink in...walk away

Answer 3

Oh I wish I knew.  My mother is really awesome, and really bad, both opposites.  She says what she thinks no matter who she hurts too and well I keep going back because she has a really good side to her incredibly bad side.  And she is my mother and I ....love her.

You toughen up so to speak.  As in you take less shite from her and others.  It can be hard if you are more of a quiet, sensitive person but just tell her to shut up when she is being a ******.  You can do it!

Answer 4

I learned in a tough way that any love has to be earned... especially family members need to know that... being a family to someone means obligations and mutual respect so no one and I repeat NO one has any right of torturing other family members only because they are family .... I see myself a battery lamp  sometimes... as long as there is a source of energy to keep me shining with love, I will shine and share it, but if there are people only taking away, and giving nothing back, I stop shining ... as simple as that. There is nothing for them to take then... don’t let anyone hurt you no matter who it is... brother sister mother father.... if you can live peacefully with them fine if not,  arivederci! adieu! I live with no family of what so ever.... I miss the feeling but still I am the most important person in this world to myself!

Answer 5

Sometimes some people are so insecure in who they are, they feel the need to lash out at any and every one around them no matter the cost.

While it hurts your feelings, remind yourself that this individual is not worthy of your time and kill her with kindness.  

If all else fails, I don't condone violence, knock the living h**l outta her!

Answer 6

I'm dealing with the same situation with a sister-in-law.  She thinks she can say whatever she wants, in whatever tone she wants and I just need to deal with it.  She's just a self-involved, spiteful person.  Her exact words when I confronted her with her rude behavior was, "I'm not going to apologize to you.  You are just going to have to accept me for who I am!" Well, NO!  My husband got involved to try to reason with her, but to no avail.  We decided to cut her out of our lives until she makes amends with me.  She is refusing to do that, so she made her own bed.  You don't need to tolerate disrespectful behavior, even if you are related to that person.  Explain to her why you are upset and tell her you will walk away if she doesn't stop.  And hold to it, too, because if you cave she'll keep on doing it.  

Answer 7

enough is enough

you should firmly put your foot down... tell her about your feelings... if no improvement avoid her

take care

Answer 8

Sorry, but I have to be blunt about answering this question.  You need to cut her out of your life.