What is the best way to deal with someone who seems to be oblivious to how rude they are?

Question

I work with a guy who seems to have no concept of an "internal filter". Literally every moment of the workday, he belches, passes gas, clears his throat, snorts, yawns, whistles, and sneezes so loud that the walls actually shake.

When he isn't doing that, he blurts out whatever he feels like saying, in a booming, grating voice. This often is some sort of comment that is hurtful and generally ignorant, about a person's appearance or other personal aspect of their life. He seems to fancy himself as having a great sense of humor, which is basically nothing more than a Don Rickles/insult type of "routine".

When I took him aside and calmly but firmly explained to him that his behavior is inappropriate, he got this hurt look on his face. After that, he said that "You all need to lighten up . . . I'm going to say whatever I feel like saying".

He's about 70 years old, and seems very much set in his ways; however, I'm not sure that's an excuse for him to be so obnoxious. It's even more aggravating when he appears to get upset when you ask him to give it a rest. I'm not sure if he's faking his hurt feelings, or if he honestly doesn't realize how unpleasant he is.

HR refuses to get involved, as does our manager.

What is the best way to deal with someone like that?

Answer 1

Words are for the wise.  There is something else that adds wisdom to fools.

Answer 2

If this problem is disrupting your work and the work of others, it is your managers and HR's problem.  

Answer 3

the best way to deal with a situatuion like this is to ignore it ...hes 70 years old nothing you or your co workers say is going to change his attitude so you may as well forget about it.

Answer 4

I would say your choices are to learn to ignore him as hard as that may be.  If he is 70 years old, I don't think he will be around much longer anyway.  Your other choice is to keep complaining to HR and your manager and if they still refuse to do anything that you go to your managers manager and you keep working your way up til you find someoneone that feels like getting involved.  You just need to keep good records of what he does and says since it is hard for anyone to do anything just based on hearsay.  And you need to get other people in your office to complain also.  It is the responsibility of your manager and HR to take care of things that are making the work place uncomfortable. Good Luck!

Answer 5

On a chance that he "doesn't realize how unpleasant he is" and he is bothering you then politely tell him. If that person behavior is also bothering other people have them speak to him to, it just might help.

Thanks for asking.

Answer 6

get him a child's etiquette book and leave it on his desk with a note saying to read as a tip on popularity and favor to others anonymously