What is the best way to discipline a kid with down syndrome?

Question

My 9 year old brother in-law is going to start staying with my wife and I one weekend a month. He is 9. He typically is not well behaved when he visits. I would like to help him learn the rules, but I do not want to do him wrong.

Answer 1

Just because he has Downs syndrome is no reason for him to be allowed to behave badly.

That said, you need to be careful not to try to apply rules that he simply can't understand, because that's just cruel. There are lots of different levels of Downs syndrome, so you really need to find out how severely he is affected (from his parents, or possibly his school?) If he understands at, say, the level of a four year old, then that's the sort of level of behaviour you should expect and discipline you should use. But your best bet is really to talk to the people who look after him at the moment, so you can all be consistent.

Answer 2

time out and loss of privilages like tv or the radio.

Answer 3

the best advice I could give you would be to first establish a set routine. from what I have found out with my son is that kids with DS often thrive on routines. (this may take some time to find the right one and will be a lot of trial and error...but it is worth it) you and your wife should sit down and set up some rules of behavior for your home when he visits along with those rules have a consequence for each infraction. if he doesn't follow the rules he then get a consequence for his actions. try and keep it fairly simple. you BIL is 9 yrs old but developmentally he may be quite a bit younger so the consequences need to reflect that. some examples that I use: if toys are not picked up and left for me to do I bring my son over to the toys and he helps me pick them up, if he refuses and pulls an attitude I still make him help but he is informed that these toys will be taken away for the rest of the day...and I stick to it. kids know when you are a push over...lol and kids with DS are no different! for something like hitting (my son has a tendency to smack the dog in the head or to haul off and hit his brother for no reason) I grab his hand and tell him not to hit that it hurts others and he gets a time out in the corner on a special chair my husband made just for such occasions. he is kept on that chair 1 minute for each year of age since he is only four yrs and developmentally around 2 yrs he is on the chair for 2 minutes. and when he gets out of the chair he has to apologize (for him since he is non-verbal he has to either give the dog or his brother a hug) the key to making it work is catching the infractions right away and immediately give out the consequence....do NOT let anything slide and you and your wife need to be on the same page so to speak if she lets things slide and you don't your BIL will get mixed signals and he will walk all over your wife to try and get away with it...typical of all kids. I just wanted to add as well....just because your BIL has DS doesn't give him a mini vacation when he comes to visit....he is still a child and needs to follow your rules to make his visit with your family pleasurable. you are not being mean giving rules and consequences you are enforcing your lifestyle and he needs to abide by it. DS is not an excuse for bad behavior.  I hope this helps!!!!

I just wanted to comment on "janets" answer...extremely good advice and great to incorperate into everyday visits with him.

Answer 4

Take it slow let him know in simple terms what you want him to do, If you believe that he does understand what you are telling him and he then misbehaves use a time out with him.

Make sure that you tell him you love him but the action that he choose to do is what you do not like.

Do not take away his security toy.

Answer 5

same as non-Down's children.  lots of love and teaching.

Answer 6

just you're typical scolding i guess is the way to put it. i work at a school and some days im asked to help out in special ed because an aide isnt there or something and there's this little boy who has down syndrome but he's a brat. so we have to constintly be on him. like somedays he brings a bear with him to school adn when he acts up we'll take the bear away and when he's doin good we'll give it back to him. he understands and most of them do understand what they're are doin is wrong but like all kids they want to push their bounderies.

Answer 7

what no one is understanding is they are  askin this question because down syndrome children are very different to other children.they get bad tempers and can get very aggressive,which makes this hard for a parent to handle.they also are very physical and are very strong . i would think the best way to discipline a down syndrome would be a rewards system stars when they are good and take stars off when they are good they strive harder than any child i know and always look forward to the reward at the end of the day.

Answer 8

Like with every kid. First put yourself in the kids position and try to experience the world from his point of view. This will help you to choose the best response so he can understand, if you discipline him.

I would explain to him in simple words the rules of your house and tell him what consequences it has for him if he does not follow the rules. Just stay flexible, I mean a kid feels if he is loved in opposite of just being tolerated. Some kids if they feel not loved will misbehave to get some kind of attention.

Answer 9

well,i don't think you should discipline him. Because he's special and he doesn't understand. So don't be hard on him. Tell him what he did wrong.

Answer 10

the smae way u would discipline any other kid. time out or something