What is the best way to do house work and caring for your newborn especially if it is your first?

Question

My baby's dad works a lot of hours and he doesn't have much time on his schedule. I was wondering what advice can someone give me about parenting. This will be my first baby and no one will be around to help me. What could I do if I get a C-section or stitches from a regular child birth? I was told that if I got a C-section that I would not be able to lift my baby and that made me upset. I don't want to leave him there helpless. There is something I know I can do but I don't know what it is. This is my 1st baby. My cousin popped open her stitches from doing a lot of things because she didn't have help neither for the first 6 weeks. Can someone help me with some advice? Thanks.

Answer 1

Let your home get messy. Stick to basics, housework-wise. Eat frozen/take-away food, ignore the dirt in the bathroom. Your place can always be tidied up later, but you absolutely don't get the early days with your baby back if you miss them for junk like housework.

If you can arrange for a friend or three to come by and help out a couple of times, that'd be ideal. A sling or other soft carrier is a fantastic thing to have, too.

Answer 2

Let the housework slide. Do what you can but make sure your priority is taking care of yourself and the baby first. It's not the end of the world if the housework has to wait, if you can ask someone to help you that's great but if not let it take a back burner and concentrate on taking care of the baby and sleep when the baby sleeps.  

Answer 3

First of all, if you have a c-section (which I wouldn't worry about if you're not high risk) you CAN lift and hold your baby. You aren't supposed to lift anything over 20 pounds, so picking a newborn is no problem.

The best way to do housework when you have a newborn is to simply *not* do housework. There's no reason why you should be expected to clean house when you are a brand new mommy. The cleaning will still be there when you start to feel better, plus people are ALWAYS asking new parents what they could do to help. If you feel comfortable enough, simply say, "Well, if you could just place all the dishes in the sink, that would be great." Chances are, most will help.

But seriously, don't worry so much about what *might* happen. If there have been no insinuating circumstances, then there's no reason to think you will need a c-section. Just relax and enjoy the end of your pregnancy.

Answer 4

First of all you can lift your newborn after a C-section. They do not want you lifting over 15 pounds after a C-section. You will have to be very careful doing things around the house if you have surgery. I have a 2 month old and I have a C-section and I had to do things in moderation. Be careful and take your time you do not have to rush to do anything but tend to that baby. Make sure the baby's father helps you as much as he can when he gets home to help prepare you for the next day.  

Answer 5

Ask Hubby to let your hire a hand, maybe a young neighbor who'd appreciate the work. They can boil bottles, lift all that laundry, and take out the trash, or whatever you designate them to do say $5 or $10 a day for 1 or 2 hours of work. For the 1st 2 weeks you really need to be focused on getting yourself back to normal. The more you take it easy, the faster you recover.  

Answer 6

daddy needs to take some paternity leave.. even if its just a week.  mine didn't and i had to get my mum to come help me.  housework can go hang in the first few weeks... once you get a handle on the baby and the routines you can get back into it.  daddy needs to help with that too.

Answer 7

The first two days after a C-section are when you will be the least mobile.  If your baby's father can't stay in the hospital with you to take care of the baby, then let the baby stay in the hospital's nursery after she is born.  The nurses will bring her to you so you can feed her.  By the time you get home, you'll be able to walk, though you're only supposed to do go up the stairs once per day.  Plan to keep the baby near your bed.  Ideally you can get one of those bassinets that attach to your bed or you can sidecar her crib (by removing the drop down side) and secure it to your bed.  This way you won't have to get up every time the baby needs to nurse.

Try to prepare meals for yourself now and freeze them.  You can make a big pot of something (eg. beef stew) and freeze it in individual size ziplock bags or tupperware containers.  This way you can thaw one meal at a time after the baby is born.  

Also plan to use paper plates and cups for a while after the baby is born.  It's not environmentally friendly but it saves a lot of time doing dishes (and prevents all that bending to put things in the dishwasher).  Just make sure the paper plates are microwave-safe because you will be microwaving your frozen meals :)

Ask friends and family if they will be able to come over and help you when you get home from the hospital.  Try to schedule different people on different days to spread out your help.  It will be nice to be able to take a nap knowing there is someone you trust to watch the baby. You will also need someone to drive you to the baby's well checkups, starting a week after birth. The person will have to drive your car or install an infant seat base (compatible with your infant carseat) in their car.  Ask your baby's father to ask his mother if she can come and help you.  Sometimes mother-in-laws are eager to help with their grandchildren.

If you can afford it, you can hire a night nurse or a baby doula to come and help with the baby for a few days or weeks after she is born.  A doula can help you learn to nurse and can help you around the house (assuming that is part of her services).  Try to arrange for this care before the baby is born.  Your health insurance may cover a doula or a breastfeeding consultant to come to your home and help you, so be sure to call them and see what they will cover.

Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 8

I had a c-section and I did laundry my first day home. You have to take it easy, but you can do most things. My Dr. encouraged me to go up and down stairs - but I knew it when I overdid it - I was in lots of pain when I did and then I'd have to relax for a while. You WILL be able to hold your baby - they just say not to do anything heavier than that.  The hardest part is going to be finding time to do the housework, but you'll be fine otherwise.

Answer 9

A sling! Wear baby in a sling! Your hands are free, baby is happy (and likely sleeping) and you can do darn near anything you need to do.

And I think the rule for a c-section is not lifting anything *heavier* than baby. You can absolutely pick up the baby!

Answer 10

Unless you are having some complications - you shouldn't need a c-section- some doctors are pushing them and some mom's are asking for them - but I had 2 natural births...and I feel if you want one too- you can do it! I also think it really helps to work with a midwife- I delivered in the hospital with a midwife the second time- she was so much more hands on and helpful during my labor and delivery. I used no drugs and it hurt but I was fine and went home after one night instead of 2. I had to sit on some ice for a few days but then was feeling pretty good.

It is hard when you are a new mom to juggle the new baby and cleaning- or any other tasks. Try to rest when they are sleeping and clean when you can. I suggest letting them sleep in a swing or a bouncy chair while you get some necessary chores done.

I also used a bassinet or the bouncy seat and kept the baby in which ever room I was in. I could even vaccum while they were sleeping.

But please believe me- it is o.k. to let the housework go a little more than usual when you have a newborn. You baby is only small for a little while- you can only hold and cuddle them for so long- they grow up so quickly!  Also, you will see that you will be a great mom and you will figure things out- thing will start to come naturally to you once the baby is born - you will be the best one to comfort them and know what they need.  Good Luck and Congratulations - you will be fine :)

Answer 11

First of all CONGRATS!!! I just had a baby girl on March 23 and she is ADORABLE! Haha... im not partial or anything =P

It is really hard. My husband loves my daughter more than anything thing in the world but he has to work odd hours and when he wakes up in the morning me and Brit are already gone and when he comes home she is already asleep. From the time she was born it has kinda been all me. The house work- diaper changes you name it. I didnt have a CSection I went natural but I had other complications and was but in a similar situation. I wasnsupposeded to do a  lot of house work and lifting the baby was even difficult. If you havent had the baby yet heres what I would do- get the house as clean as you can now. Just do one thing and then rest for a while because once the baby comes you are going to want to sleep even chance you get.  Just work at getting the house cleaned up as much as you can.

Once the baby is born here is what worked for me. I was breastfeeding so it made it kinda hard. But feed the baby and take a short nap when she/he does. I would usually wake up about 30 minutes to an hour before the baby and that is when I went to work. I feed her laying on the bed with her in the middle so that when I got up I could just slide off and leave her there. So after my short nap I would get up and go do one thing... like vacuum (Im stubborn- my Dr. said not to vacuum or mop because it is a lot of bending and what not- I just took it easy though and took my time) then when I was done or too tired I would go lay back down.

I know this sounds crazy but the only time you are going to get stuff done is when they are sleeping. If your baby is anything like mine she will sleep quite a bit for the first 2-3 weeks. That will give you time to get back into the swing of things.

Honestly you can get all the advice people can give out and you can read all of the books on babies and how to handle different obstacles but every baby is different so you have to find what works for you. It also depends on how much energy you have and how much of a sound sleeper your baby is.

It's hard work but you can do it!! Brit is my first and she is just AMAZING. I wouldnt trade her for anything... Now that she is 4 months I have one of the backpack/baby holsters and she helps me do work around the house and she LOVES it!!!!!!!

Good luck- you'll be great!!!!!!!!

CONGRATS again!!!

Answer 12

i had a c-section AND a baby who was over 10 lbs!  i was able to carry him and lift him, etc.  

they said the weight limit was 10 lbs but OBVIOUSLY if your baby is that heavy you have no choice! (and the doctors know this)

i just relaxed with the baby at first, it only took me like 2 weeks to recover from the c-section, i was out and about by the 2nd week.

but no don't go crazy doing housework, you have to let it go for awhile unless you have someone who will help.    just hang out with your baby and relax.  

it's okay to do light things, you don't want to just sit all the time as it helps you heal if you are moving more, like take walks with the baby, that's good for both of you.  even in the hospital i took walks around the halls with the baby.    but don't go vacuuming the house right after you get home, just relax.

BUT you may not have this, people i know who had regular deliveries were up and doing things in like 2 days!! so hopefully you will just a have a regular delivery and this won't be an issue!

also, if you cook, it would be good to try and cook some meals before the baby and freeze them so you don't have to worry about it for a few days after you get home with the baby.  or else just get take out!  

good luck!

Answer 13

First of all, don't worry about doing house work postpartum.  This is the time when you will be bonding the most with your baby and don't let house work get in the way!!  If possible, get most things done before you give birth and leave it alone.  Get a friend, realitive or someone else to help you around the house if you can.  Just have fun bonding with your new baby!

Second, you can lift your baby if you do get a C-section.  You can't lift above 10 - 15 pounds or so.  Why do you think you will get a C-section?  Don't sell yourself short!  My baby was 8lbs 3oz and I managed to get him out!  Give your body credit for what it was made to do!  Give birth!  And if you do have a C-section, then you'll still have a little bundle of joy to go home with!

Third, listen to your body.  If you don't feel like doing this or that, then don't!  Pain is your body's way of telling you to stop or slow down.  You'll have a lot on your plate anyway with all of those round the clock feedings and diaper changes.  Also talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you are going to need help!  He helped make this baby and he needs to help take care of it!!

Answer 14

You will be fine. There is no reason that you cant lift your baby after a section.It would be nice if your babies dad could take at least a few days to help you out. But, its not the end of the world. You wont be bed fast or anything. You can do it. Just rest as the baby rests to begin with.And work you housework in as you can. Theres lots of us out here that did it and we are still alive to tell. Dont expect it to be easy, but, it can be done.