What is the best way to enforce no teens smoking in my home?

Question

Some of my son's friends smoke. Our home is quite large, so they feel they can get away with having a cigarette now and then when they come over at night. We are non smokers (the rest in our family of 6) and notice right away. Should I speak to my son, or my son AND his friends. I don't want to embarrass my son, but if he doesn't have the backbone to enforce our family rules...should I do it myself, and or tell him that his friend (the one that smokes), if not more than one...will not be welcome here again? Not sure how to deal with this. Can you help me with some advice? My son is sneaky,...and just trying to get away with what he KNOWS is not allowed...by assuming that I won't go downstairs to check. Even if I don't...we smell it anyway. I also don't want to worry about drinking and smoking and fires.

Answer 1

simply tell him next time you smell them smoking you will come toss his friends out and tell them they wont be welcome back and he will be grounded

make sure to let him know you will let it be clear for his friends

hence motivate him to tell them not to because it will be very embaracing if you come down

then put a used jamjar with some water in it on the stairs and they can go out smoking and stump it in there, once it get full you can just s***w a lid on it and toss it in the garbage

Answer 2

Smack him across his head in front of his friends and tell him that everyone is outta here unless the smoking stops.  

Answer 3

of course you should say something! who the h**l smokes in someone else house with out asking them first! You need to talk to him and then to his friends and just tell them that there is to be NO smoking in the house, they are welcome to go outside but if you smell smoke in the house again they will not be welcome back.

Answer 4

Listen Mom, YOU own your own home, you are the adult and the parent, you should not have to be afraid of repercussions for trying to enforce rules that are just plain common sense and good for all, your son, nor his friends evidently do not respect the rules of the house to be doing that as I am quite sure your son knows what is and is not allowed, if your son cannot respect his mom and enforce the rules then I am not real sure I would worry if he does get emabarased, maybe that is what it is going to take to make sure that he and his friends respect the rest of the family, were it me, And I did raise three kids of my own, this is what I would do,I'd  put a sign on the entrance to the home, the front, and back and side or garage door, which reads, "Out of courtesy to this family, we kindly request you do not smoke in this home to maintain your welcome here.If you cannot respect this request, then please leave and do not come back. Thank you. " And I would sign it not mom, or dad, I would sign it, "Home Owner." Carries a little more legal weight, If your son does not like it, too bad, he had his chance and blew it. I doubt you will ever have to put it up or use it more than once. Good luck.

Answer 5

How old is your son?

I feel like you have every right and reason to approach him and his friends. Your home=your rules. He is still a resident of your home, and it is only respectful on his behalf to make sure he and his friends abide by your rules.

If his friends cannot follow the rules, then I would not allow them to be guests in my home.

Answer 6

tell him you know whats going on and if he doesnt get it to stop then you will sit by his desk in school anyday you choose, i have done this, it keeps my kids in line

Answer 7

Sit him and his friends down, tell em you dont like them smoking and if they smoke they need 2 step outside. If this continues, put your son out since he thinks he's too grown to follow your rules and maybe he can smoke at one his friends house!!

Answer 8

Tell your son next time you believe it happens, you will talk to his friends.  And if it continues after that no friends are allowed over.

Answer 9

Talk to your son and his friends that you know smoke. If you catch anyone smoking in your home, permanently ban them from coming over. If you smell it, go through the house to find where they are and kick the friend who smokes out. Punish your son severely.

Answer 10

smoke detectors, maybe some really sensitive ones, but the first thing to do would be to talk to your son about it when they're not around, and tell him to have a talk with his friends, or talk to his friends' parents about it. or just talk to his friends. it's not so much an issue of embrassaing him in this case, if it didn't hurt and annoy everyone else in the family, then maybe it would be okay, but if it bothers everyone, then no. you COULD accidentally-on-purpose walk in on them and scare the **** out of them in process.  

Answer 11

I wouldn't embarrass your son in front of his friends right away. Now granted I don't know what age group we are talking about here, but if those are your house rules then they need to be followed.

I would speak to your son first. Let him know that smoking in the house will not be tolerated. If you know this going on when it is happening, tell him that if it continues you will enforce the rules. If you think they could be drinking, I assume he and his friends are 21 or older....and I stand by statement.

If these kids are under 21 and drinking in your home, that is a whole other thing you need to deal with.

Answer 12

it is your home and your rules.. tell your son if he doesn't respect that his friends will no longer be allowed over.  

Answer 13

You need to have a talk with your son and his friends. Just tell them that they are welcome to smoke outside, but not inside the house. If they don't respect the rules of your home, they shouldn't be allowed there. It's disrespectful to you and your family if his friends can obey the rules.

Answer 14

I would make him be responsible for his guests.  Tell him that it is his responsibility to make sure his friends follow the rules of your home.  If he allows them to break them, I wouldnt allow him to have any friends over until you feel you can trust him to make the right decisions.

Answer 15

Just tell him that some of his friends have been smoking in the house and ask him what the story is. If he offers to talk to them, fine. If that doesn't work, tell him that he will not be allowed to have them over anymore.