What is the best way to handle a 6 year old that cries every time he's told no?

Question

I take his toys away, doesn't work. I put him on punishment, doesn't work. spanked him, didn't work. out of options.

Answer 1

You could ignore the crying, or you could acknowledge it,whilst making it clear that crying will not change your answer e.g. 'I can see that you are upset because I said no, but I will not change my answer. If you stop crying, we can ...'(think of a distraction, not a reward). Ignoring works best with younger children, but older children would think it was weird if you pretended not to hear them. Crying is a form of emotional blackmail, and you are right not to give in to it. However, it may also be a genuine emotional response, and so punishing the crying is a bit harsh. By acknowledging the child's feelings, you are respecting his right to feel emotions, but not allowing them to influence you. As he becomes older, he will use crying as emotion or control less. Good luck.

Just read answer from Rosie, and find she has said more or less the same - so, could be sound advice!

Answer 2

Don't give in to him...stay strong and firm and try to distract him with something else. Sounds to me like he is "pushing your buttons. Do you give into him if he doesn't stop crying??? If so "STOP" he will get it ... sooner or later.

Answer 3

Just look at him.

"awesome." "Be louder...louder.....come on....go...go...go."

He will find that his cry don't bother you and even already an entertainment for you. As he feels uncomfortable with his throat, he will stop and will not cry again."

I Really Do Agree With GYN, Well That's What I'd Do

Answer 4

There's no use punishing a kid for crying, that's only going to upset him and make him cry more. He has every right to be unhappy about your decision, so calmly tell him you understand he's upset, but he's still not allowed to have it. Kiss him on top of the head, so he knows he's not in trouble, then walk off and leave him to it.

Answer 5

Just ignore him when he starts to cry. Once he realizes that it's not going to bother you he will stop.

Answer 6

Remove the word NO from your vocabulary. Negotiate an alternative or use distraction methods. It really does work.  No is an angry word to children, so if you said say "how about we? and distract, children react much better.  I also found raising my cildren that if you whisper your answsers, they come in close and listen to you.  Raised voices make them yell back which starts the anger cycle.  Good luck with this, you have to be consistent in whatever you do.  My failsafe was the naughty chair in the corner with no books/toys etc and child asked to think about why they have been sent there, and then come and negotiate off the chair.  This makes for a much better relationship with your child, but you have to be prepared to take the time to make it work.  You cannot put them on the chair and walk away.  You need to sit on another chair with your back to them so that they know they are safe and that you are approachable.

Answer 7

time out!!

We use the time out spot circular rug like they have on the tv show jon and kate plus 8!

Answer 8

Well, simply, no means no.  Let him cry it out, so he figures out that he's not always going to get what he wants.  Nobody does.  Don't give into him, or else he will be very selfish and spoiled.  He needs to learn now.  More people are going to tell him NO in his lifetime.  He needs to learn the meaning of it.  You don't have to take away anything, just let him cry it out.  He'll figure it out.

Answer 9

Sounds like it's working just fine. What's the problem? If he cries when you say no, tough. Let him cry.

Answer 10

Distraction from the problem is the best way .. If and when you say no just indirectly go on to something else he will forget about why you were saying no in the first place and want to do what you suggest because that is what kids do. they do what makes mommy happy. Punishing for crying is only going to upset him even more..believe me Itried that too..  

Answer 11

My stepdaughter used to cry every time she got into trouble or someone said no because when she did that at home with her mum, crying would get her out of trouble and then she'd get sympathy and whatever else she wanted. Make sure you never back down just because he cries. Ignore the crying. When he calms down explain to him that what he did was wrong, how you expect him to behave instead and that crying is not going to get him out of trouble. If you think he's mature enough to understand then explain to him that taking ownership of his mistakes will make him a better person and that crying isn't going to achieve anything. Tell him that crying in some situations is perfectly okay but crying because he's been told no is just silly. This worked for my stepdaughter anyway

Answer 12

What happened to CONSISTENT DISCIPLINE?  Of course nothing works.  You're not disciplining him you are trying out forms of discipline.  Pick ONE, spanking is only going to teach him that it's okay to hit when he is frustrated or angry and he could start having problems in school because of it. Time outs do work, however you have to use it over and over and over and if he gets up before his time is up you have to keep putting him back over and over and over.  You have caused a lot of the problem yoursef by being inconcistent.  

Answer 13

Let him cry, and stick to your "NO"!!

Answer 14

do not give up on punishments, spnakings or taking stuff away, keep doing it till it works.  I feel spankings the best option and if done right will, over time will work with hin.

Answer 15

let him cry

Answer 16

Be kind, but firm. Crying doesn't warrant spanking because he's not hurting anyone. For example, let's say he is refusing to finish his dinner but is upset because you won't let him have ice cream unless he finishes his dinner (this has happened to me.) Say, "you don't have to finish dinner, but you can't have ice cream unless you do." Don't make a big deal out of it, don't try to persuade him or plead with him, just make it very clear that you aren't going to change the options no matter how hard he cries. If he starts to scream, take him to his room and have him stay in there until he's calmed down. This almost always works - it's not harsh, it's not even really a punishment, but it'll let him know that you mean it when you say no.

Answer 17

Just look at him.

"awesome." "Be louder...louder.....come on....go...go...go."

He will find that his cry don't bother you and even already an entertainment for you. As he feels uncomfortable with his throat, he will stop and will not cry again."