What is the biggest plus and negative of the newborn/baby section?

Question

I have to admit I have found some wonderful information on here from various people on things such as BLWing and extended BFing. For this I am extremely grateful. It has also is reassuring to hear stories from other mommies and realize that for the most part we are all going through very similar things.

What I don't like about this section is the abundance of poster's whose have, clearly, no desire to help anyone, just to make them feel like sh*t. While I have very strong beliefs as to what I think is right and good for my son, I don't ever what to make some one feel terrible for theirs. I may wish to guide them to different thinking, but only beause I want to help and think they would truly benefit from my advice.

So, what brings you to this site and what just about keeps you from every returning?

Answer 1

biggest positive is sharing experiences with other new moms...biggest negative is all the bickering about BF and baby wearing and co sleeping...not everyone is the same so not everyone is going to raise their baby the same.  To each his own.

Answer 2

The biggest bonus for me is all the wonderful contacts I have made. There are some truly wonderful mothers on here who share my style of parenting (or not) and who I know I can always get solid and reassuring advice from or just share funny baby stories with. Being a new mom was so much harder then I thought it would be and it can be very isolating. It's nice to have the resources of others opinions. On the other side, now that my baby is older I like to be able to share what I have learned. We've survived colic, sleepless nights, breast feeding issues, re-lactating, caring for a preemie, starting solids, working the d**n sling, co-sleeping....why not share what I have learned with others who need the help?

Yes, there is a lot of judgment on the boards. I fully admit that I can sometimes be pretty judgemental of mothers who clearly make poor choices and put themselves before their babies. I can get pretty heated over CIO and early introduction of solids (especially cereal in the bottle). When I start to notice myself get that way I usually have to step back for a minute. I took a week break from Y/A after getting very upset with a woman who was planning to drug her baby to get him to sleep.

I would say that my biggest frustration is the bad or outdated advice that some give. There are a lot of inexperienced mothers on here who are already hearing it from Grandma or Mom who had her kids decades ago. I worry for them (and for their babies) that they are vulnerable to very bad advice.

Answer 3

The biggest negative is all of the obvious fakes on here, or people that give outdated advice, like from when their kids were babies 30 years ago.

Answer 4

I come here for the same reason you do--I believe life experience is valuable and I love to share mine as well if it can help someone else!

I've also been at other forums that discourage you to speak your mind.  Sometimes I feel like you should be able to express your opinion without sugar coating everything, if you know what I mean.  I don't mean be a jerk to everyone else who thinks differently than you...but I hate having to walk on eggshells because you are afraid of offending someone.

What ticks me off are the people who give thumbs down for no reason at all, or who answer questions they have no business answering (ie, they have no clue of the answer but post something anyways just to get the two points.  ugh!)

Answer 5

I come here because I like to help people.  I like to reassure people, especially when I've gone through the same thing and got past it.

Biggest negative-- the people who see everything in black and white, those who can't accept that there is any correct answer other than their own.

Answer 6

The sense of normalcy I get from here is great. I feel I am not the only one wondering about things that are happening with my child and that is comforting. I don't get so upset with myself so much, I am often hard on myself but when I see another mom post a question similar to what has been on my mind then I feel a sense of being normal. My goal right now is to be a good Mom to my girl and a lot of the info posted on here has helped me work at achieving it.

The negativity we receive on here is the down side. I don't understand why people are negative- if you have something to say negativity is not the way to go because your point will be lost in it. You can nicely disagree with someone and perhaps give them another perspective. Aren't we moms pretty much all here for the same reason- to get help and advice, a connection with other moms? It is so frustrating to see a new mom who is struggling but willing to learn on here get a hard time when she is trying to learn what is best- I am really bothered by it because here is an opportunity to teach her and few take it.

Answer 7

I like to come on here because I think I have a lot of experience and knowledge that may come in helpful to others.  There is not much I find more exciting or interesting than pregnancy.  

Now, what do I dislike?  I dislike every other question being the "am I pregnant" questions with the long drawn out story explaining cycle length and dates and all of that.  Truly, no one on here can tell you if you are pregnant or not.  Although, those questions aren't enough to keep me away.  I just generally don't answer them.

Answer 8

I like coming back to this place not to ask questions much (very mean people out there), but to help answer their questions. I've been through alot of stuff with my pregnancy and child rearing with only my husband and me. We made a few mistakes with our child, and especially with my pregnancy, and I just want to make sure nobody has to go it alone like we did. Yes, we had family, but when we needed advice they never really gave us much. Now that we don't need it, they give us more than we can stand. Lol. Go figure.

Answer 9

sometimes i can understand "angry" posts. this section can be frustrating. but that's no excuse.

what gets to me the most are the rants that i see. the ppl that have a "point" to make because the got their knickers in a twist. sometimes i just want to scream..."GROW UP!"

What brings me back?

that occasional email i get from a mother on here that is thanking me for advice. and the friends I've made as well.

edit:

apparently the 2 thumbs downers are the ones that love to rant in here.

Answer 10

Negative- people asking if they are pregnat.  We can't tell you only a pregnancy test can.

Plus-other people asking the same questions you have or had.  makes you feel better.

Answer 11

I think it is great if you have a question another moms can help you out. The thing that sucks people dont like it when you break a "rule'..If they disagree with you, they bash you for not doin it right. Like giving your baby food to early or giving your newborn water...I never listen to what those types have to say, I do what i want. But if i need some advice this section is great  

Answer 12

Basically, what you just said. Sometimes I can find great answers. Especially when I'm worried that my daughter is doing something abnormal lol and I find out that everyone else's babies did or do the same thing. But I hate the fact that some moms shove their parenting beliefs down my throat and actually get angry an defensive if someone doesn't agree with them. I admit, there are just a few stupid people on here and no one can argue that they may need parenting classes lol. But for the most part, i think people need to understand that what may work for their child, might not work for someone else's.