What is the biting policy at your child's daycare?

Question

Our daughter has had no discipline problems and has been a teacher/cook/director/etc. favorite for the entire 2 years that she has been at her daycare.

In the past three days she has gotten to within one bite of being permanently dismissed.

The school sent her home last Thurs & Fri for biting (breaking the skin). Because they happened in the same week she was put on probation and is now one incident away from being dismissed.

It feels like our daycare is abandoning/failing our daughter (and us) and it all happened in a split second.

Our pediatrician checked for possible medical reasons why she is biting (i.e. 2 year molars) and literally almost fell out of her chair when we described the situation.

My wife is extremely distraught.

Answer 1

I understand your frustration.  My nephew was kicked out of two preschools in as many months, because they have a "three strikes you're out" biting policy there as well.  But from the perspective of the care providers and the other parents, can you really blame them?  They could probably be sued for sending other kids home with serious bites (and if it breaks the skin, it's serious).

Answer 2

My day care recently dismissed a child for biting.  He bit many kids many times.  The day care provider even brought in professionals to observe the situation and provide guidance.  The providers attended some supplemental training on how to deal with the biter.  On and off for months, the provider had to give the family 2 weeks notice to expel the child for biting.  It took a little too long if you ask me (and my little victim) but the provider wanted to make sure she did everything she could for the biter, but could not endanger the other kids anymore.

It sounds like we are on two ends of the spectrum, yours might be stricter than average.

PS - The boy that was expelled is doing much better and is happier in a more structured environment.  He hasn't bitten once at his new day care.  He was at an unstructured home based day care (where my kids are) and moved into a more structured Goddard School.  Maybe it's time for a change for your daughter?

Answer 3

Maybe she's getting bored and isn't challenged enough, so she's acting out.  Have there been any changes at home or in her life?  I'm thinking since she's been good so far, she may just be bored and needs a change or in another class with older kids to challenge her a bit.  Just my thought.

Answer 4

teach your child NOT TO BITE if you don't want her to.

Answer 5

I know exactly how your wife is feeling! My son has been and I feel still is a great child and not having any problems with being a attacker, he was always the atackee! For the last month or so he has been biting off and on but in one day it is excessive, 3-5 times. He is 20 months old, THEY ACTUALLY SUSPEND A 20 MONTH OLD! He does not bite at home at all, but is at daycare. They cannot pinpoint the reason, BUT THEY ARE THE ONES THAT ARE WITH HIM ALL DAY! So, it has come to the point that I have chosen to leave and take my son elsewhere that I have spoken to about the biting and they are very willing to work with him. I am doing this because basically, like you one more incident, he would be asked to leave, and I would rather make the transition by choice and not force. So, maybe it would be best to find your daughter a place that may have more staff and time to owrk with your daughter instead of hoping that it will not happen again and be rushing to find a provider that you may not be so happy with.

I understand that the daycare has a obligation to the bite receiver and parents, but they also have a obligation to the biter and there parents. They basically told me they are too full with kids to take more time out for my son, when my son has attended for 1 1/2 years, is attached to staff there, but he is going to suffer and have to deal with a HUGE change and probably bite more, but they can wipe there hands of it, so I guess they do not care!

Hope this helps.

Answer 6

I have been a licensed child care provider in my home for almost 21 years.  Biting is one of those difficult situations that often don't have an easy or quick solution.  I don't have a specific policy in regards to biting, but I know other daycare homes that do and most daycare centers do as well.  In the majority of cases, biting can be controlled by using a method that requires the biter to be closely monitored in an attempt to prevent the situational triggers, such as frustration, fatigue, or possessiveness over a particular toy (often one the offending child has just like it at home).  If the biting is only taking place at daycare than there is little that parents can do and it can be very frustrating.  Ultimately, it is the place of the care providers to do what needs to be done to ensure the safety of every child present at daycare.  If one child is a consistant biter, suspension or expullsion often is a last resort, although some centers have a zero tolerance policy.  Personally, I think that is wrong, but I understand the importance of safety and if parents are unhappy over the behavior of one particular child then they may be quick to pull their child.  A daycare with a biter gets a quick reputation and other parents will avoid it like the plague.  In the county I live, we have an organization that provides resources for daycare settings.  One of the things available is for a behavior specialist to come to the daycare and work with the child, the care providers, as well as the parents in an attempt to curb the unwanted behavior.  It costs money to do this and some centers will pick up part of the cost with the parents.  In this situation, it will be hard, but you'll have to put aside some personal feelings for the time being and focus on the best course of action for your daughter.  I would start with making an appointment with the director to discuss options and express your willingness to cooperate in everyway.  A lot can fall apart when attitudes and personal feelings get in the way of finding a solution to a problem.  Because this is a new behavior for your daughter, I would start by focusing on the changes in her life.  Is there something new at home such as a schedule change or something new at school such as new children in her classroom or a change in teachers?  Maybe even a new toy at home that is similar to one at daycare can be the culprit.  What I did with my own kids as well as the children I care for is when a child bites, I take hold of their arm or shoulder with enough firm pressure to make them squirm while saying, "No, we do not bit Andrea or any one else.  Biting hurts people and you may not do it."  Then the offending child is removed from the vicinity of the bitten child so you can take care of him/her.  A biter needs some additional attention and the care provider needs some investigative skills to nip this problem in the bud. (Pun intended!)