What is the coolest reaction to direct rudeness from a handicapped person on public transportation?

Question

I commute every day on the train. At the front of each train is a section for the handicapped.

This morning I sat near that section. At the next stop, a bunch of hippies got on. One half-naked hippie sat next to me, and the others actually climbed over a couple wheelchairs so they could occupy the handicapped seats.

The hippie near me was conversing with another hippie in the handicapped section: "I hate those no-shirt, no-shoes rules! I like not wearing a shirt."

One wheelchair guy jumped in and said, "Well, there's a good reason for it ..." I was beaming at him because those hippies harass people in front of my office. Then, he continued: "You wouldn't want to see fat people walking around without shirts, would you?" He looked directly at me and said, "No offense."

Well, up till then, I was on his side. But then he decided to call me, a stranger, fat. I kept smiling at him, but what would have been the most devastating, coolest response?

(Detail: I am, actually, sorta fat.)

Answer 1

I often use humor to deflect such comments, and pretend it doesn't bother me. I would have pulled a fat b*****d impersonation, rubbed my chest and said "You just can't handle this cuz I'm dead s**y".

But that is usually only if I actually like a person, and I want to smoothe it over forget it and move on.

If I don't like them and I'm mad, I just give an awkward long pause while I stare at them and say absolutely nothing until they squirm.

Its almost evil, but I like doing that.

On rare occasions, I just show pity and teach them some social skills by being direct. "It is rude to talk about other people's weight".

Answer 2

Maybe something like, "My weight is my handicap, and not your problem."

Answer 3

I applaud you.I wouldn't have been able to stay that calm.

Answer 4

Hes not acting like a physicaly disabled person, he wants some, so give him some. Its all about convenience, when they open their mouth, they are not handicaped; but when they need help they are... oh gee.

Answer 5

"Oh yeah? Try walking a mile in my shoes, buddy."

Answer 6

Hahaha that is such a funny story!  I can just imagine what you were thinking, being on his side and then 'hold up, did you just say what I think you said?!?!'....I really don't know what you could have said to be honest!  Oh, and are you sure those hippies weren't just actually chavs???