What is the deal with calling adoptees an "it"?

Question

This is not directed to either the adoption reformist or the pro adoption folks. We do agree that adoptees are human children.

Answer 1

Well a lot of times the adopters (parents) don't want to think that the child has been named/had by someone else. They are the same kind of people who only want newborn babies because they think that the older children will not love them or bond with them.

Yes I agree that they are human children not cars or houses.

EDIT: I think the question is referring to the time during the adoption process.

Answer 2

and who calls adoptees an "it"?? jeez paranoid

Answer 3

i never heard of that! what an stupid & awful way of referring to  someone. some people have neither manners nor common sense.

Answer 4

I don't think it's intentional.

It's typical, and not always appropriate, that "it" is used when referring to anything in speech or writing.

It happens and I don't think you should get upset about it or take offense to it in the adoption category.

Answer 5

Never heard of this before...

Answer 6

Never heard them referred to as an "it". All I've ever heard them referred to is "precious gifts", "God's gift", "blessings" etc.

Answer 7

I am referred to as "it" twice in my legal adoption papers.  If the U.S. court system and the adoption agency feel it's appropriate then it just becomes the norm.

Answer 8

I have an adopted sister, I would never call her an 'it'!

Answer 9

Here are a few:

"i would like to adop a baby cause, for one thing i got love and would take care of it very well,see i had t kids with this man i was married to and he talked me in to getting fixed and i did, i really did wont to but i did and now i wish i had not done this cause now ia married and love this man and wont to have a child with him

so adop is a good thing some one can love it and give it a good home that cares about it"

"I don't really want to adopt because I am afraid that when the child grows up it wants to know its real parents. "

"Adoption Q's For Those Who Always Say "Put it up for adoption if you don't want it...just don't abort!"

Need me to dig up any more?  I have time...

Answer 10

what are you rambling about?  I've never heard such a thing

Answer 11

This reminds of a book i reed called

"A child called it"

very very sad true story

-GC

Answer 12

thank you JustaNot.

I though i was just being sensitive but now i know i'm not crazy. i had stopped reading from a couple of people becasue of that and they already have adopted kids. i wonder how they feel when they sit back and listen to conversations about them. A lot of these people found it offensive but i wonder how many of them have posted it without realizing it. Thanks for this question/statement. i guess people only see the disrespect when they're the ones being disrespected. otherwise they're ignored and i think we are one of the most ingored people in the world. we're not even hear dby the organizations that claim to help us. go figure.

Answer 13

I have also heard 'Is it a boy or girl?'   'Do you have a name picked out for it?'  'Can you feel it kick?'  

These are questions I have heard asked towards pregnant women.  I think quite often it's an innocent mistake, because to those asking the question, or making the statement, there isn't an identity connect to.  Maybe the same is true when we see people say 'it' when talking about adoption.

Answer 14

Yeah, I have noticed that too. But I chose to ignore it. I mean you are right it is very disrespectful. There are some people that are raised with no manners.

Answer 15

I've done "it".  Excuse the pun.

Just out of laziness or a avoiding a clunkiness of language.

If you say 'he' or 'him', some women get mad.

Some don't like it if you say 'her' or 'she'.

And he/her, hers/his gets awkward.

And when we don't know what s*x the child is--sometimes it's easier.

Guilty as charged.  But what's worse?  "It" or "miracle"?