What is the deal with men ??

Question

Ok so i had an abortion about 2 months ago which a regret. so me and my boyfreind want to try to have another one @ first he was over the moon when a said i wanted to try again but now he tells me that he hates me and dosent want to be with me

help !!

Answer 1

The abortion probably bothered him more than you think it did.  He doesn't want to deal with the fact that his first child is gone.  He probably regrets it too and thinks that there was some way he could have saved him/her and taken care of it.  You just have to accept the fact that he is blaming you for the mishap and wants no continuous memory of it.  You might as well move on.

Answer 2

get an asian guy  

asian guys never do that

Answer 3

What changed in 2 months where you went from not wanting a baby to now wanting one?  Sounds like neither of you are stable enough to know what you want right now.  If he is telling you he hates you and doesn't want to be with you, take the hint and move on.  

Answer 4

Don't make any more babies right now, first of all.

Secondly, he doesn't sound like someone I'd want to have a baby with.

Answer 5

You and your boyfriend want to try and have another what....abortion?

I'm sorry, but it really sounds as though your relationship with him isn't strong or balanced enough to bring a baby into the equation. It doesn't even sound as though he's sure he wants to even be with you!

I think you seriously need to think about what YOU want out of this relationship and if he's the right person to father any children you may wish for.

Answer 6

WOW - looks like "Girl power" is alive and well - amazing how you feminists can somehow figure out from a 4 line post that it's the guys fault and that she should "dump him".........

To the OP - an abortion, h**l even a pregnancy is a massive thing to go through which can affect either person in extraordinary ways.  What he says and what he means may be (and most likely is) two completely different things.

Instead of listening to the idiots on here telling you to "dump him" (and possibly throw away your soul mate - unlike the prudes on here - I'm making no assumptions) you should go and see a counsellor to work through the issues you might have.  Having someone impartial there can really help you get through this rough patch, or on the other hand will help you decide that it is best to let things go.

Give him another chance.  It would have been hard on him too.

Good luck :)

Answer 7

Men are like wild dogs, it takes a long time to train them.

First of all, having a child is a major responsiblilty.

If you're boyfriend can't seem to settle down and stay with you, he probably shouldn't be the father to your child.

You and him need to sit down together and calmy discuss what you both want out of your relationship.

Sorry that you have to go through this, hope it gets better soon.

Best wishes.

=)

Answer 8

It sounds like he's not mature enough to be a father, and your relationship isn't strong enough to be a good foundation for a baby.  If you think that this is something you really want to do, you'll need to face the possibility that you may be going it alone as a single mom with no support.  Think hard about whether you're really ready for that before you jump in, for your own sake as well as the baby's!

On the other hand, he may have just been scared off by the idea of fatherhood at this point.  I would talk to him and make sure, but to me any man who said he hated me would not be a man I wanted as the father of my children.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

Answer 9

forget about him

Answer 10

He's JUST your "boy friend."  There are no ties that bind here.  The old saying applies: "Here today, gone tomorrow."  You had an abortion just two months ago.  I'm guessing that there was a lot of serious discussion about committing this act.  If there was not, there damned well should have been.  And so, having done this, now a mere two months later, you have decided that you want a child?  What will happen when the child comes home from the hospital and is not on the same sleep cycle as you and keeps getting you up throughout the night?  And when that child breaks past the "terrible twos and busts into the tyrannical threes?  You don't sound as though you're very committed to much of anything.  And you have no commitment from him.  So, what's he going to do when the going gets tough?  You come across here as being too wishy-washy.  I (based on what little information is provided) don't think you're ready for children.

As a throw back dinosaur, I suggest you try marriage before child rearing.  Neither one are a picnic.

Answer 11

An innocent child does not deserve to be born into such a relationship. Eventually, you will find a man that will respect you....then you can discuss children!

Answer 12

He obviously is angry at you, there's not much we can do to help you with it, we don't know your whole situation and so we don't really know what's going on...

People who bash you for having an abortion aren't helping, either, and will be reported. It's not anyone's job to judge you.

Answer 13

If he is doing that, you should seek a new boyfriend.  I wouldn't keep trying to concieve a child though.  Pregnancy and babies can scare men, so I would just ask him to honestly tell you what is going on.

Answer 14

Wow 2 months ago and now you are wanting to try to concieve. To be honest with you I would be angry too... you can't make up your mind - what posessed you to have an abortion such a violent and final decision but now you regret it so you want a second chance instead of learning the first time, healing from the abortion both physically and emotionally takes time not 2 months.

Don't be too hasty to get pregnant to have a baby they are a lot of work and take patience and time something it seems is hard for you to be dedicated - I don't think it is the man this time.

Answer 15

hes got some issues. and if you just had an abortion 2 months ago i highly doubt there are any big changes that have occurredd that would now make you any more ready for children. contrary to what the celebrities would have people believe, a baby is NOT an accessory. its a human being who needs a lot of caring for, and money to take care of it as well.  

Answer 16

I think there's more to this than you are telling us (or possibly than you know).  It certainly sounds as though he's moving on.  Perhaps you should, too.  

Answer 17

Dump him asap. If he got cold feet the first time he always will. Also, I'm sorry about your situation