What is the deal with my son?

Question

he is 17..always been a good kid, good grades, no drinking, no drugs..etc..... then about 6 months ago, his whole attitude changes, he used to be a hard worker now he is a half a$$ worker and acts like he cares about nothing.... He actually lied on his boss yesterday so badly that I made him quit his job...only to find out this morning that he was lying....the other day he had what appeared to be a panic attack, but my husband thinks he may have been on something.......I dont have a clue what to do....he has a good heart, but just seems like he could care less about anything except his girlfriend....who i happen to like...but, what is with my kid? How do I handle this the right way?

Answer 1

if you think he's taking drugs go get a home test to have him checked? A kid doesnt change without a reason. Peer Pessure can change a person.

Answer 2

You might want to be up front with him. Sit down with him and have a talk about communication and support. Explain that you understand that this may be a difficult/confusing time but you are there for him. Have you considered that he might be on drugs/sounds like symptoms of marijuana....also, try to talk to his girl friend about your concern...she might be able to give you some clues...good luck!

Answer 3

Same thing happened to me. I was a;ways a hard worker but when i began to mature more and more girls began to fall for me because of my looks and humor. I was so distracted by all this i let my grades slip and now I'm suffering for it by going to summer school. Your best advice to him is the threat of not being able to go to a steady collage. Tell him if this keeps happening that he will be sent to a community collage.

Answer 4

I think every kid has to have that time in adolescence when they just don't care...or just don't seem to. He has to know what it is like to dissapoint and suffer consequences for his actions, that is how he will learn that his negative actions have consequences.

I think the best thing to do is make sure you still pay attention to the good things he does - make a point of encouraging him when he makes a good decision and does well on school etc, then he will probably be less inclined to make the badd choices that get him negative or no attention.

It seems he is naturally a good kid, but trying (even if subconsciously) to test his own boundaries as he figures out who he is and moves closer to adulthood.

As for the possibility he was taking drugs, I wouldn't say anything or act on a suspicion, especially if it is a one off. Unfortunately there aren't many kids these days who don't try something at least once.

I hope it all sorts itself out, I think it will.

From memory of my own adolescence, I would say tha the less you hassle him (which it doesn't sound like you are doing), the more likely he is to trust you when he is really in trouble, no matter what it may be.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Your son either has a major issue that he needs to get off his chest or he could be on drugs.  My brother went through a funny phase when he first 'came out' and ended up suffering from really bad depression.  He went to counselling and a hypnotherapist to try and deal with it and is doing much better.

On the flip side my step-brother had a big drug problem.  He lost loads of weight, stole from his mum and turned into a complete mess.  

I would suggest trying to talk to him first to get to the route of the problem and if that doesnt work try and get him into counselling.  It may be that he is dying to talk to you about something he just doesnt know how to bring it up.  If its the drug thing then he really needs help and the quicker he gets that the easier it will be for him to break away from it.

Answer 6

Don't panic.

So his boss was actually right, and your son did steal from them? Or was the story a complete lie, didn't it happen at all?

Anyway, I think that at that age you require only one thing from your parents: that they take you and your opinions 100% seriously. You don't have to accept what he does, but let him explain before giving your opinion.

Answer 7

I would seek a professional counselor for an opinion on how to handle this.

Have you sat down with him and tried to talk to him about it? Ask him if anything is bothering him?

Sorry I can't do any better for you, (((Mommy))).