What is the difference between not being codependant upon each other, but rather depending upon each other?

Question

What is the difference between not being codependant upon each other, but rather depending upon each other?

Answer 1

Here's an example of a co-dependent relationship.  One person is an alcoholic and needs the partner's social and financial and emotional support.  The other person had an alcoholic parent and now has a strong inclination to rescue a partner from alcoholism.  This person needs to be needed and will make excuses for the alcoholic, or will get rid of the evidence to protect the alcoholic's reputation.  Crucially, if the alcoholic tries to quit drinking, the other partner will undermine those attempts because of the fear of not being needed any more.  So neither of them can become healthier: the alcoholic can't quit, and the other partner can't feel emotionally stable without being needed.

In contrast, being able to depend on one's partner means that you can trust them to do the best thing for the relationship.  So if one person becomes an alcoholic, the partner might encourage them to go to AA meetings, and will remove any alcohol that's been hidden around the house, and will refrain from consuming alcohol alongside the alcoholic at social occasions.

I hope that makes sense.

Answer 2

each needs to carry their own weight in all matters; know what each has brought  to the relationship and how well they are willing to use their own skills; example- which one can do Hair versus which one can drive a "stick?"  

Answer 3

The word you are looking for is "interdependent".

Answer 4

Well i think codependent means you take on their personality but depending on someone  means you depend on their help.

Answer 5

Codependency is when need comes before choice. Interdependency is when choice precedes need. In codependent relationships neither person is capable of taking care of themselves. this leads to unrealistic expectations and disappointment. It leads to frustration and misery.

Healthy relationships occur only between individuals who are able to take care of themselves. They are whole and they are able to share their wholeness with others who are whole. There is no expectation and so when they do help each other, they do not take it for granted (as if expected) but rather they appreciate the unexpected gifts they give each other. These relationships bring continual growth and fulfillment.

Unfortunately, we have been taught that we must not be whole, we must deny parts of ourselves and seek those parts out in another. This makes us not only powerless in our own lives, but also deeply unsatisfied and frustrated in our most primary relationships. It keeps us in constant fear and need. In other words, this keeps us weak and needy, easily led, easily controlled. We spend so much energy fighting with our partners, trying to get them to fulfill us. We never come to believe in our own wholeness and power and so we live, and we die, as insecure, needy, neurotic followers.

Ask yourself, what group of people might benefit from this arrangement? Then think about the history of Western Civilization. Hmmmm.

Yes, wholeness and love are subversive states of being.

Answer 6

it's like the difference of being unable to function /make decisions /survive  without the other ,and being independent ,decisive but know the other is there ,to work together to achieve what u couldn't on ur own.