What is the funniest joke you've ever heard in your life?

Question

What is the funniest joke you've ever heard in your life?

Answer 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUmYGLIub...

Answer 2

Its a stand up joke and its too long to explain, and i cant remeber most of it, so yeah but its great 2 read the rest of these.

Answer 3

At a convention of blondes, a speaker insisted that the "dumb blonde" myth is all wrong. To prove it he asked one cute young volunteer, "How much is 101 plus 20?"

The blonde answered, "120."

"No," he said, "that’s not right."

The audience called out, "Give her another chance!"

So the speaker asked the blonde, "How much is 10 plus 13?"

Slowly the blonde replied, "16."

"Sorry", he said, shaking his head.

Once again the crowd roared, "Give her another chance."

"This is your last try," warned the speaker. "How much is 2 plus 2?"

Carefully she ventured, "Four?"

And the crowd yelled, "Give her another chance!"

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A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "d**n it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

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Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.

Two guards bring the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready... Aim..."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "Earthquake!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready... Aim..."

The redhead then screams, "Tornado!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready... Aim..."

The blonde shouts, "Fire!"

Answer 4

A generously endowed young lady at college often got teased by her sorority sisters for being so top-heavy.

At a fraternity party, a young man asked her what she would like to drink.

"Diet soda, please," she replied.

"Oh, you must be the double D." he said.

The girl was furious, wondering which of her so-called friends had divulged such personal information. "And just what do you mean by that?" she snapped.

Surprised at her angry response, the young man meekly answered, "Oh, you know -- the Designated Driver."

Answer 5

"Mom, can I have some money?"  HAHAHAHAHA

Do you want to smoke a ___?  I follow that with "Do you want to get a job?"

I like the joke about the blonde in the barrel or was it a sack?  Any blonde joke cuz some of us are Really ditzy.

Answer 6

What did Jesus say to the North American Indians before he was crucified?

Don't do anything until I get back.

Answer 7

the 3 men on a plane

hehehahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha

i cant stop laughing

Answer 8

what did the mirror say to the ear?????

d**n, that's a big *** hole!!!! LOL

do you get it...oh well i thought it was funny...hahahaha...Muahahah