What is the funniest quote you've ever heard?

Question

the funniest qote I have ever heard... "may your life be long and useful like a roll of toilet paper." can anybody top it?

Answer 1

"don't be a fool wrap your tool"

Answer 2

i like to go overseas a lot, especially to Canada.

~said by the scholarly Britney Spears

Answer 3

well one that tickled me was!

dont push ya granny while she's shaving