What is the funniest short joke you know

Question

What is the funniest short joke you know

Answer 1

What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall?

Dam.

Answer 2

knock knock

whos there

madam

madam who

madam foot stuck in the door

hahahah sorry i know its reallllyyy bad but its been my fav since i was little lol

Answer 3

I know one I know one!!!! this Guy ask a whole bunch of people the funniest short joke they know and they actually give short jokes, instead of short people jokes. Yeah that was funny. That had to win.LOL

Answer 4

So theres a girl and a guy and there dating and the girl says "I dont think we can date anymore"

And the guys like:"why not?"

The girl says:I heard you were a pedophile

The guy:"thats a mighty big word for a twelve year old"

lol

Answer mine plz:http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 5

how does a hunch back sleep?

with there eyes closed

- i like socceriskewl's joke.. hahaha

Answer 6

Hey, get this:

Okay so there was this guy that walked in a bar. He said "Is anyone here that can make my donkey laugh?! If someone in here can, I'll give you $100 dollars." So everyone tried to make the donkey laugh but failed. One guy walked up and asked "Hey, can I get a shot?" The other guy said "Yea sure, knock urself out." He goes out, makes the donkey laugh, walks back in, collected his $100 and left. The guy that gave him the money chased after him and asked "How did you do it?" The guy that made the donkey laughed said "It's a secret."

The next day the same guy with the same donkey came back to the bar. He asked "Is anyone here that can make my donkey STOP laughing?! If someone in here can, I'll give you $100 dollars." So again, everyone tried to make the donkey STOP laughing but again failed. The same guy that made the donkey laughed walked up and asked "Hey, can I get a shot?" The other guy said "Yea sure, knock urself out." He goes out, makes the donkey stop laughing, walks back in, collected his $100 and left. The guy that gave him the money, again, chased after him and asked "How did you do it? Just tell me!" The guy that made the donkey laughed said "Alright I'll tell you. The first time I told him my p***s is bigger that his...the second time, I proved it."

Answer 7

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.  

Answer 8

why did i answer this question?

i wanted points

hahahahahah that was funny

Answer 9

I take Viagara to keep from rolling out of bed.

Answer 10

most i know are long like this one:

a man is walking around in a mental facility with a doctor. and the man asks: "so doc how exactly do you know if someone needs to be in here or not?" and the doctor says: "well its simple we do the bathtub test". and the man says: "whats that?" so the doc takes him in the bathroom and fills up the bathtub with water and looks at the man and says i want u to empty this and he hands him a spoon a cup and a bucket and says choose wise. and the man grabs the bucket and starts dipping out water and the doc looks at him and says most people just pull the plug, which room would you like? lol  

Answer 11

a wealthy guy goes out with a average girl. two weeks later they break up. the girl, talking about his wealth cries "you always look down me". the guy simply answers "its not my fault your so short"

Answer 12

WhAT DID THE APPLE say?

nothing he cant talk!

Answer 13

Wanna hear a dirty one?

Two white horses fell in the mud.

Answer 14

So, a baby seal walks into a club...

Answer 15

what did the mushroom say when he walked into the bar

ouch!!!

Answer 16

Doctor, Doctor

Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children." St. Peter lets him enter.

The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives." St. Peter tells him to go ahead.

The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care."

St. Peter replies, "You may enter. But," he adds, "you can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to h**l."

Timing Is Everything

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, "You should've been here at 8:30!"

The guy replies, "Why? What happened at 8:30?"

"Martin Levine, owner of a movie theater chain in New York City, has passed away at age 65," the newspaper obit read. "The funeral will be held on Thursday at 2:10, 4:20, 6:30, 8:40 and 10:50."

-- Merrill Markoe, Late Night With David Letterman, The Book (Villard)

What's in a Name?

A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona."

"There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"

The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."

Quacking Up

A duck walks into a drugstore and asks for a tube of ChapStick. The cashier says to the duck, "That'll be $1.49."

The duck replies, "Put it on my bill!"

Who's Counting?

How many Deadheads does it take to change a light bulb?

12,001. That's one to change it, 2,000 to record the event and take pictures, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out.

Explosively Funny

Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?"

A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead."

After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"

After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human cannonball was tired. He told the circus owner he was going to retire.

"But you can't!" protested the boss. "Where am I going to find another man of your caliber?"

Say a Little Prayer

Squirrels had overrun three churches in town. After much prayer, the elders of the first church determined that the animals were predestined to be there. Who were they to interfere with God's will? they reasoned. Soon, the squirrels multiplied.

The elders of the second church, deciding that they could not harm any of God's creatures, humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

It was only the third church that succeeded in keeping the pests away. The elders baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Answer 17

chuck norris can slam a revolving door.

Answer 18

What do you call a law passed by Obama??

The Obamakoren....

Answer 19

This guy walks into a bar...OUCH!

Okay, maybe not the funniest...but the shortest.

Answer 20

chuck norris can punch a cyclops between the eye

Answer 21

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says"why the long face"

Answer 22

a drunk guy ran into a bar

Answer 23

ur momma

Answer 24

what are the sexiest animals on the farm?

brown chicka, brown cow,

say it fast, you'll get it.

Answer 25

what do you call a deer with no eyes?

no idea

Answer 26

Read this contribution by another poster:

What did the 0 (zero) say to the 8 (eight?

"Nice belt!"

Nyuck, nyuck!

Answer 27

knock knock

who's there?

inpatient cow

impatient cow wh-

MOO!

♥Hєє Hєє♥