What is the gift opening etiquette for baby showers?

Question

I am co-hosting a baby shower with an expected guest list of about 50 people. The mother-to-be (who by no means is traditional) doesn't want to open gifts because it's boring and she doesn't want to sit through 2 hours of opening gifts and faking a smile if she doesn't like one of them. It's not that she's not appreciative but she's had a couple of showers now and is tired! However, most baby showers are about oohhhing and awwwing over gifts. My friend recommended going green with the gifts and asking guests not to gift wrap so then we can dispaly everything on a table. I do like this suggestion, but I'm wondering if there are other suggestions that will make everyone happy?!

Answer 1

I like the paperless party idea....  I just went to my nieces baby shower and everyone talked while she opened gifts because it IS boring... I don't blame the mother to be...  For my baby showers I HATED being watched while opening gifts for the fear that I would make a face at a gift that I didn't like without even realizing that I did it...    

Just put on the invitations that the "...shower will be a paperless shower...  the parents to be kindly ask that you don't wrap their gifts as they would like them displayed for the entire shower for everyone to enjoy"

As a guest I wouldn't find it rude or odd, I'd be relieved that I don't have to waste money on a roll of wrapping paper thats going to be thrown away....

EDIT:  Okay so I'm noticing that people are assuming that the mother to be isn't appreciative or isn't deserving (obviously some of them have NO idea how tiring pregnancy is)... The truth of the matter is that the appreciation for the gifts comes from saying thank you and sending thank you notes... It is still possible to know who gave what gift if the guests attach a card...  also it is not uncommon for parents to be to have more than one shower, many times they do one for daddy to be's side of the family, mommy to be's side of the family and one for friends... sometimes there are even more if the parents to be have divorced families that prefer to keep things separate.  I'm sure the mommy to be isn't inviting the same people to multiple showers...

Answer 2

I happen to agree with your friend, I think the whole opening of the gifts is sooo boring especially because Im just dont go ga-ga over little diapers and booties like some people do...

I went ot a wedding shower recently where the guestlist was about 70 people and I was dreading the two hour gift ceremony, but they actually did it in such a way that the whole deal took about 30 minutes. The bride was sitting on a chair, a couple of her brides maids were behind her unwrapping the gifts and opening the cards, then putting them in little piles, another brides maid would announce who bought the gift and hold it up and the maid of honor would then write the name and gift on a list for the thank you cards. the whole assembly line went realy quick. Some people just really enjoy wrapping gifts and I know all my aunts and grandmoms love to see what everyone bought so maybe this way everyone can be happy and your pregnant friend will only have to endure 20 minutes of oohing and ahhing.

Answer 3

Even though the mom is tired, she should at least show some appreciation for the fact that people are willing to go to the trouble of welcoming her child into the world, and show this to them. Here are a couple of suggestions that might make everyone happy.

1) If it is possible, try having this shower after the baby is born, so that people will know what to get for the baby.By then she should have an idea what she will need.

2) Set up a bank account for college, and have the guests just give a donation to the account. It is a little impersonal, but will be giving the child a good head start in life.

3) Try asking for gifts for the baby in the form of gift cards from local businesses, so that the mom can buy what she needs, when she need it.

4) Get a laundry basket (or other large container) and just have people put their unwrapped present in it and give it to her as one large gift basket.

I hope that some of these ideas work for you, and I also hope that the mother to be realizes just how much people love her, and that she has a poor attitude toward their generosity. Good luck.

Answer 4

The idea for unwrapped presents is excellent.  It saves people the hassle and expense and then people who want to can ooh and aah over the gifts.  Those of us whose kids are older really enjoy looking at baby clothes -- I know, weird, but it's true.

Your friend will have to spend some time at the table doing a little oohing and aahing of her own, she should be able to find enough energy for that.  

If people bring wrapped gifts just add them to the table and she can open later.

Answer 5

My suggestion?  Don't bother trying to make everyone happy- it never works.  I personally would love it if I didn't have to sit through gift opening and think the idea of going green with the gifts is a great one.  Some people will think it's great also but there are probably going to be some that turn their noses up at it because it's not tradition...so what!  Do what makes mom to be happy.  Best of luck!

Answer 6

I think that is a great idea. Theres nothing wrong with her displaying all the gifts. Both enviroment consious and just what the mother to be would want.!

Answer 7

If she is "too tired" to open gifts, then perhaps she is too tired to have a baby shower. I don't know how many guests would be attending this third shower, but it must be a lot to take two hours to open gifts. If she does plan on going through with the shower, perhaps she could donate all the gifts to a charity and thereby save herself from all the stress and strain of opening them and (God forbid) having to act appreciative.

Answer 8

Hi,

The going green and not gift wrapping sounds like a good idea- because everything would then be on display. However, how will she know who gave what? Also, if guests were to eat and play lots of baby shower games first then that would prolong the length of the shower and leave no time for gifts anyway. Just make sure everyone (most importantly, the guest of honor) is entertained and having a great time.

Answer 9

I agree with jm e plus if she had 2 she don't need anymore let her and the baby daddy by for the baby since she's not into oohhing and awwwing

Answer 10

Cancel the shower. She doesn't deserve it. She is obviously a self-centered person, and is quite tacky and rude. Showers are about showering the mom to be with well wishes and gifts. If she doesn't want the gifts, you should just write "no gifts please" on the invites. And if she can't show appreciation while opening them, then she certainly shouldn't get any.

Answer 11

free tibet!

Answer 12

This is the reason why I hate attending baby showers- it takes  4 hours for the mom to open up all the gifts and everyone puts on a polite face to ooh and aah over the gifts that no one really cares about.  "Burp cloths! How cute!  Oh, a nipple brush! I really needed that!".  Besides- rarely is a gift a surprise, because she registered for all the gifts!

I like your paperless idea, and I've also read that (InStyle Parties book) it is no longer necessary to open gifts at the party- which I think is a great idea.  Why size everyone's gift up against others'?  Get on with the fun gathering, and let the new mom sort out the gifts on her own time.

...let the thumbs down fly!

Answer 13

I know sometimes people get all geeked up when anything about a gift is requested at a shower.

However, as the immensely pregnant recipient of 50+ baby shower gifts in a too-hot room, I can tell you, it's exhausting for everyone involved. The people in the back can't see anything, the mom-to-be just wants to get it over with and hopes she doesn't offend anyone by not smiling hugely and talking about how cute the gift is.

I think going "paperless" is a great idea. AND, a bonus is that people might make the container part of the gift: i.e. baskets, baby bathtubs, clear storage containers, diaper pails, bassinets, pack n' plays, etc.

You could even have a long table set up with the gifts displayed on it and guests can ooh and aah as they walk the length of the table and look at them.

Answer 14

I think that your Mom To Be's idea about no gift wrapping is great.  Each guest could place a gift tag on their own gifts so your Mom To Be will know who the gift is from and know who to send Thank You cards.

Agree with her also about the gift opening part being boring -- plus she is pregnant and uncomfortable -- sitting too long can get uncomfortable.  Your nontraditional Mom To Be could very well be on to a great idea for other showers, as well -- wedding & bridal.