What is the ideal age of a child to adopt?

Question

I know that most people want babies, so it would seem that older children (5+) might be more abundant - but when would a child be too old to really assosciate with your family? Do you consider there to be any cut-off age of adoption, when a child is too old to undergo a successful adoption?

Answer 1

Personally No...there are so many children that want a family and to just be loved by someone.  I work for CPS and I think that any age is good.  There are so many good kids out there that just need a loving home.  I guess it would be your preferance too.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

There is not "cut off age" for children to be loved and part of a family.  All children deserve and need this.

However, children in foster care or who have been in "the system" for many years, have become toughened to life. They have had to survive a life that most of us cannot imagine.  So with those survival skills, which have been very useful to them come some problems which may require support and assistance - sometimes for a lifetime.  And children who have endured a lot of trauma or loss, may have a hard time attaching properly to a family.  Some may never know that kind of security.  They can't.  Others with time, will, and are able to be happy and productive children again.

Children under the age of 10-12 who have "minimal" emotional/mental/physical special needs are usually adopted very quickly.  Those with special needs, and those over the ages of 10-12, may live from foster home to foster home until they are 18-21.  Over 500,000 children are in the U.S. foster care system.

Answer 3

Older kids will have dealed with the death or being abanded or being abused and understand it. If possible start off with a baby and then a few years later adopt an older child.

Answer 4

They say the cut-off age is 6yrs maybe 7 years if your lucky - after that the child will spend their life in foster care - either long term or short term going form one to another depending on how there behaviour is.

I would say that no matter what the age you will have problems with the child - some worse then others - depending on the reason they are in care/up for adoption.

All most children need is a loving home, attention and ground rules - they need to feel wanted

I applaud you for wanting to go for an older child - but go in with eyes open - and also babies can come with baggage believe it or not.

Answer 5

I really think it depends on the person/people who are adopting and the child.  You need to know what is right for you.  If you are interested in adopting an older child, you will likely get a placement much sooner.  Also, sibling groups are often difficult to place, so you may go that route as well.  There are websites you can look at for photolistings of children avaliable for adoption who are in the foster care system.  If there is a particular child you are interested in, you could always talk to the social worker, or have your social worker get information.  

I personally think that teenagers may seem difficult to incorporate into your family, but it may be because they are actually trying to test you and see if you really want them.  I think most of the teenagers are hoping for a forever family, and they feel their time may be running out.  Of course this would make them edgy and hard to deal with.  

Remember, every child is different.  If you want a younger child, be honest about it.  Your caseworker won't be angry, you just may have to wait longer.  If you think an older child is right for you, then go for it.  There should be pre-adoptive visits before the child moves in, so you can get an idea of how you will get along as a family.

Answer 6

It  depends more on what the child has been through than their age.  Make sure to ask PLENTY of questions about the child's background (why where they put up for adoption; how long have they been in the system etc.).

Answer 7

I also don’t think there is a set age it’s just what fits with your family. I knew  a boy from high school his parents always talked about adopting once he was out of high school and in college. About a year later they adopted a pair of siblings ages 13 and 10, a year  after that  adopted an 8 year old.  They wanted to give a loving home to kids that needed it but really didn't want to go through the whole baby/toddler/very young child phase. Already having been through it with their 4 natural children.

There can come more baggage with older adoptees often times they have emotional  issues and who wouldn’t after not having a family for so long and likely being shuttled between foster families. They’ve never had any stability other then knowing they can’t rely on adults and in a sense have to care for themselves.

In most cases where people want very young children they typical don’t want any child over the age of 4 years. Most want infant to 18 months.

Answer 8

Once you start getting into adolescent years and dealing with puberty ages, it gets complicated. If you want to adopt, I would say the unwritten cutoff age would be 10 years old. After that, kids may be more resistant, although, Ive never been an orphan, so I can't quite make that call.

Answer 9

well I'm not possitive but I'm adopted and i was adopted at age 5 months so i believe it's best to do it when they're a baby because there still very young and they will grow alot closer to you if you do it at an earlier age.

                                                                         Katie

Answer 10

I think there is no set age that people should or shouldnt adopt children.  Some people want babys so that they will grow up to be a part of their family, other people might like older children to give them a second chance or so that they dont have to go through the little kids stage. Im sure that you will pick what you think will be best for you and your live style.



  i wish you the best of luck.

Answer 11

I think it depends on the parent and what age group they think they can seriously handle better.   Some kids are so messed up so you have to take that into consideration.   My age limit would be no older then 6 yrs.

Answer 12

It depends on you and your spouse if you have one.  You need to come to that decision on your own.

We adopted girls 7 & 10 internationally.  The adjustment hasn't been seamless.  Our older daughter has had some issues related to the adoption, but it's still been a wonderful thing for us all.

We nearly adopted a 17 year old girl from foster care.  She opted not to go through with it b/c she had her plans for college and all in place and a move for her senior year was a little too frightening for her (she wasn't absolutely certain that all would go as she planned).  If we'd have had her total buy in, I'm certain that the adoption would have been a very good thing for all of us.

People adopt babies thinking (imho) that they'll have fewer adoption related issues that way.  That's simply not true, though.  Children who are adopted as babies still have grief, loss, attachment, abandonment and adoption issues to some degree.  I've seen children adopted at 14 who had less issues than some who were adopted as babies...and vice versa, too.  There's no guarantee, and all adoptees have some kind of issues they deal with whether openly or privately.

SG

Answer 13

Well every child deserves a chance people seem to adopt for what they can get from it and less for what they can give. Children can't help how old they are you should consider kids that are older because they have been passed around and unwanted longer. Also there is a greater need for older kids who need homes because 80% of children under 5 will be adopted in the 1st 2 years of being placed up for adotion.

Answer 14

Yes most people want babies but there's more older children.I don't really think there's a cut-off age. one reason is that once there 18 homes just kick them out.They don't really have any programs for them unless something bad happens to them but if you want to adopt I would think the ideal age would be between 4-13.

Answer 15

If parents want to raise a child as their own and have the same kind of impact on the child's personality that they would if it were their biological child adopting an infant is the only way to have that.  In the first three years of life a brain is developing.  

www.zerotothree.org describes the way nurturing can affect the formation of synapses.  The child who has the right brain connections nurtured in infancy will have fewer problems with his brain over-responding to things like stress and illness.

Children also learn by mimicking when they're little, so that's another way a baby's personalilty and behavior can be affected by his adoptive parents.

Toddlers who are available for adoption often come from abusive backgrounds, and even a child as young as two can have personality issues that occur as a result of being with the abusive parent in the first two years.

Older child adoption, though, can be successful.  Its just different.  Some older children are grateful to find permanent parents after being foster care for a long time, and some want very much to have that special relationship.  Some children have more emotional problems than others.  There are many, many, children with severe developmental, health, or emotional problems who are "hard-to-place" children.

It probably isn't the age of the older child as much as it is the nature of that child.  Some desperately want families.  Others may not, and those kids are never going to completely warm up to adoptive parents.

When adoptive parents are older they may want to look for an older child simply because adopting a baby may not be fair if parents will be aging by the time the child is a teenager.

The adoption of older children can be successful.  Its just that if parents want that "exactly the same as biological kids" relationship with their adopted child they aren't going to get that by adopting children who are past infancy.