What is the irrational behind one who has been in an abusive relationship and they treat me like the enemy.

Question

I dated a wonderful woman for over a year, but as I told her at one point, it seemed that as we grew closer, she would emotionally attack me over what I felt were minor issues. She would put me through two of three day episodes of anger which always came back to her telling me I did not love her. She had huge anxiety and startled easy, along with panic attacks. She seemed very insecure at times. She truly was beautiful inside and out, but she tore me up as these episodes became more freqeunt. The hardest decision of my life was to break it off with her and then she portrayed me as the demon. I spoke with her ex-husband and he informed me she had been in a very abusive relationship (physical and verbal). He descibed her issue as "thinking too much about stupid little things and then going way overboard" and I agree. She wore me down and tore me up; never an apology. I'd lay awake at night wondering when the next verbal attack would come.

Answer 1

This is really sad. She obviously had lots of emotional problems, probably from childhood, which lead her into a physical and verbal abusive relationship before she met you.

And you say 'she trully was beautiful inside and out'. I belive everyone is, but its your upbringing and unfortunate situations leading up to adulthood that can seriously damage someone and give them serious problems later in life.

I belive so strongly that childhood is the most inportant time in anyones life and that parents should learn how to be a parent befire having children because once you mess there childhood you've messed them up for life.

Answer 2

We do know that hurting people, hurt people.  Until she gets a picture of herself and seeks to change her behavior, there's not much you can do for her. This is a sad scenerio but it happens over and over again.

People seem to self destruck and don't know why. I suppose a series of counselling would be a start of recovering from her hurts. It is hard to know that none of these things happened because of her.  It is not her fault but she feels like she could have fixed it somehow.  and we know that is not possible. We train our behavior by our experiences and  emotions. Emotions do not give us a true picture of a problem.

One has to change their prespective on themselves and then others.

Our belief system has to be changed before we can actually see

where we are. Then learn what steps will get us out of that thinking and behavior.

I have a personalized book that has your own name throughout the book that is so powerful. It is positive affirmations with YOUR name in each statement. It will change one's life if they can figure out that they want to live a happier better life. This is hard to help someone see and admit thet THEY themselves can change their own life and deserve to..You could get this personalized book at the site below in the source line. It has to be ordered online personally. Very powerful if one wants to start believing in themselves and then expect change in their life. It will happen if you do it...

Blessings to you.

Answer 3

Hay guy, you  are in serious trouble.

Don't underestimate this problem.

I suppose you are in love with a woman having some serious psyci problem.

If you are serous to solve the problem, I think she needs to get the help of some psycotherepist.

Do't delay, or problem may be more serious.

Answer 4

I say, get away as soon as possible, it will only get worse.

Answer 5

She was hurt in the past, and the only way to avoid it was to attack you first. Keep you in line. If she made sure to always be the attacker, she would never be attacked. Or, maybe she grew accustomed to the abuse, and was looking for it from you.